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Date a man that has no interest in his child, and doesn't want to pay child support?

My ex is dating a new girl.
She knows of his physical abuse, and he's 28, works 15 hours at a pizza place and is failing out of school..

I understand why they are dating. She doesn't have custody of her son, and is out on bond waiting for trial.

I just don't understand females, and why they allow themselves to be used like he is using her. She's been with all his friends, and has now settled on my ex. Gross. Sorry. I'm done lol
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 1, 2012 at 9:29 PM
Replies (151-160):
Playitagain
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 10:41 PM

My brother married a loser women who had her parental rights terminated for abuse and neglect. She didnt give a hoot about the boys, only would regularly harass their father (and legal mother) for money. We thought things were wrong for years, first off she never had them, never saw them, would claim they were coming to visit and then nobody saw them. They got married again no boys, her family gave 3 different stories, nothing matched up.

Finally one day my niece told my mother, sister, and I that she and her brother weren't ever allowed to be alone with their step mother and a women from DHS had come to the house last week with the police about a phone call and money. My brothers ex wife, had similar concerns. We had never felt it was our buisness but after that.... I found SILs ex husband using facebook, I sent him a message telling him we only wanted to know what was going on. He was very nice adn understanding. He explained he used to travel all the time for work and some of the things he learned once the kids where old enough to talk. She stole money, used the kids social numbers for things. One time SIL made my mother feel so bad about not seeing "her boys" that my mother contacted a lawyer for help. My Brother stopped it, saying he didnt want our mother using her money. After a lawyer told us there was nothing he could do. 

This entire time we feel like my brother was putting our children in danger, this women used old photos on facebook and whined about missing them when really she would try to extort money from their father, and never even ask how they were. The courts we found out have voicemails of her demanding a car or money, and never mentioning the boys beside "you owe me, I gave birth for you". 

My brother was confronted by my family and his ex wife. He told us he loved SIL, and that she was railroaded. Cleary not the case, as I met with the father and oldest son for lunch. Nothing added up, then we learned my brother knew the whole time. He got divorced last year after she threw a chair at him, but we still dont really speak. 

I wish I could explain it, I really do. Bothers me alot, I used to work for the state as a lawyer and I often wonder about women and men who date people who they know are bad, its like they think they will change.

maidjillian
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 10:54 PM

Sounds like they are cut from the same cloth.

I would never date a man who was a deadbeat dad.  But, my bio dad was one and he never had a problem getting new women, so I guess they are out there.  Pathetic.

Athman97
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 11:17 PM
My SIL is just 20 and dating/living with a guy who's 25. He has 4 kids, now 5, quit his job bc it all went to child support, got m SIL prego. They moved into his parents since he didn't have a job, finally got a job after months of not working. She got prefo bc he wudnt go and buy her birth control. I could just smack my SIL for getting herself into this situation. We've all offered to help, including taking custody of their baby. It's just sad. Some girls just don't get it.
hargonagain
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 11:42 PM

I did and it sucked.  In my defense I didn't know he had kids until a few months after we were together.  He mentioned one day that it was his son's birthday.  I was like, what?  You have a son?  He said, I actually have 5 kids!  Two months later his oldest daughter got ahold of him and we ended up going to see them.  Even though him and I are no longer together I am still close to 3 of his kids.  I would never make the same mistake though.  It was sad to see how little he cared for his kids.  In fact he wanted to be daddy to my son (not his) but I wouldn't let him.  I asked him how are you supposed to be a dad to my son when you don't want to be a dad to your own kids? 

JennPearce
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:13 AM
No thanks! If they don't love & take care of their own flesh & blood, they are complete garbage.
snowball01201
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 1:43 AM

You settled for all of the same things she is getting from him so really who are you to judge her for dating him?

Uzma_mom_of_2
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 2:26 AM
1 mom liked this

It's just sad that some women have have such low opinions of themselves.

My mom was/is one. Only felt she had value if she had a guy. After separating from my dad she just hopped from guy to guy. Drug user, drug dealer than abuser. She's obese, so just felt like she could never get a decent man I guess.  She finally has a guy who is decent. He may have just wanted a green card but he treats her better than any guy since my dad.

It's a cycle I swore not to follow, and can happily say I have succeeded.  I may be over weight, but I didn't allow that to dictate my self worth. And pursued the man I wanted, not whatever leftover of society decided to look my way.  We've been together for 10 years now.

MadysonsMama
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 2:28 AM

Hell to the noooooooooooooooo way~!

littlemonaghan
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 4:27 AM

honestly, if i were single, i most likely would not date a man with ANY children.

That would just be an automatic "run" flag for me.

But thats just me, I've had a lot of people tell me that it isn't fair to the guy, maybe he's a great guy, yada yada yada.

Just not for me I guess.

If I were single, I would keep far away from men with children. Good daddy or deadbeat. 

muppy984
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 4:37 AM
That s life, sad bt unavoidable in life cos of the power of choice God has given us.
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