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Hello

Posted by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:37 AM
  • 14 Replies

Hi. My name is Sandi. I have a four year old son, Nick. Was just exploring and found this site. Was looking for suggestions on how to deal with some of the behaviors my boy is exhibiting. I am a teacher so I have a pretty good background, but this is beyond my knowledge level. Nick is being defiant and just downright mean at times. He is talking back like a teenager already. He's taking temper tatrums and screaming at the top of his little lungs. I have tried everything I can think of from time outs to sticker reward charts. They may work for a short time (and yes, I am consistant with them) but then the behavior starts again. Any suggestions?

by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:37 AM
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Replies (1-10):
abmaddox1981
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:40 AM
Hi and welcome! When my kids act out like that, they lose privileges. Reward charts never work with them.
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splatz
by Sarah on Oct. 2, 2012 at 10:50 AM
Welcome! I agree with loosing privileges, that is always the most effective with my oldest. But, every child is different. Just keep trying new things until you find what works for him.

Good luck mama!
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MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Oct. 2, 2012 at 11:35 AM

Hi Sandi. Welcome to the group. Sorry your having problems with your son. Most 4 yr olds go thru that. Just keep trying new things until something works.

lovedbymom
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 11:38 AM

 Welcome Sandi!!  My kids lose privileges when they act up or have temper tantrums.

NicksMom1407
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 12:26 PM

Thanks everyone! I have tried taking away privileges and even taking away toys. He is given the consequences and a warning. I'm just getting frustrated and I'm sure that's not going to help the situation.

Pammi86
by Pamela on Oct. 2, 2012 at 2:07 PM

Welcome and good luck with ds! : )

Janet
by Ruby Member on Oct. 2, 2012 at 2:13 PM

 Welcome, sorry I don't have any advice for you.

NicksMom1407
by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 8:38 PM

This evening I wanted to take Nick out for pizza. He didn't want pizza. He wanted McDonalds or Sonic or anything else but what I wanted to do. He took a fit the entire car ride to the pizza shop. When we got there, I told him we would just go back home and eat. I proceeded to turn the car around and come home. He screamed the whole trip home. Then when we got inside, he threw his shoes, my shoes, his cars and trucks and anything else within reach. He's been throwing himself around the room and yelling about going for pizza for the past hour. The more I ignore him, the worse it gets.

Lovingmommy1028
by Vanessa on Oct. 2, 2012 at 9:15 PM

BUMP!

TexanMomOf6
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 11:02 PM

The pizza trip sounds like a nightmare.

3 ideas:

1.   Have you trying discussing things before hand?

 example conversation.    you.."Nick, I would like to take you out to pizza"

Nick...."No. I don't want pizza"

you.. "I would really like pizza. What were you thinking?"

Nick.. " Mcdonalds"

you.. "how about we find a place that has both pizza and burgers?" OR "Nick, you have picked McD's 2x this week. It's my turn."  Then it still may be that you have to order delivery pizza so he doesn't have opportunity to act up in public. Maybe tell him if he can't take turns, he can't pick at all.  

This is a good time to teach negotiation, compromise, and taking turns.

2.   Sometimes "Be Good" doesnt work. He might need specifics. Maybe a basic list of expectations, what is acceptable and not acceptable behaviour. Then whats going to happen when he does each good or bad thing.

3. At  4 years old they want some control in their lives. I let mine make a few decisions, all within my preset perameters. One example: I helped them find 2 or 3 appropriate pairs of shoes then let them choose which set to buy.

Good Luck!

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