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My dd is 16 months old and driving me crazy! I know she gets what no means but she does not care! I have tried everything and now find myself yelling a lot which does not help! She just ignores me! When I try to move her out of the situation she hits or bites and time outs mean nothing to her. I feel like I am at the end of my rope! I need advice ladies! I do not want to be that parent thats screaming all the time! : (

by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 2:10 PM
Replies (31-40):
emmy526
by Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 5:36 PM
1 mom liked this

make an environment suitable for a 16mo old...they don't understand danger, and it's much easier for YOU if you create a baby safe place...that way you are not yelling at her and she can explore without dangers. 

KaliyahImani
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 5:51 PM

Yes it is not child abuse to spank your child with a open hand they actullay tell you its okay although some states are different but that seems to be the only thing that help my child is 23months old and she listens because she doeant want to be spanked you are going to have to start out young because if she gets older it will get out of hand.

DixieFlower
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 5:55 PM

I agree with this advice also.

Quoting black_sun99:

I love this advice.  Pack N Plays worked wonders.  I also blocked off the kitchen bathroom and all bedrooms except the kids.  

To OP I didn't have trouble with biting or hitting.  Also if you yell then that is going to be the only thing she responds to.  Sometimes you just have to step back and take a breath.  Invest in that Pack N Play and just put her in it and take a break.  Good Luck Momma!!!

Quoting CLG122:

I disagree with the other moms.  Spanking is NOT appropriate for a 16 month old.  Especially if she's been hitting.  Spanking will just reinforce that we hit when we don't like what someone's doing-- seriously.

I would do this: set up a Pack N Play with NO TOYS in it.  Put it in a separate room from where you usually are, or an out-of-the-way spot where she won't be able to make eye contact with you.  EVERY SINGLE TIME she bites/hits/etc, you say "NO biting" and put her in that Pack N Play for 90 seconds.  Set a timer.  Do not talk to her or look at her during time out.  When time's up, you pick her up and say "no biting, okay?  Be a nice girl!" Smile and give her a hug.  She has to know that you will not tolerate the behavior, but that you forgive and still love her.

16 month olds are tricky!

You have to be consistent.  But you should definitely not use time-out or any other kind of punishment when she's just getting into things that you don't want her touching.  The answer for that is baby-proofing.  If you don't want her touching the DVD player, get a TV unit with doors and put a zip tie or cabinet lock on it.  (Ours has glass doors so we can use the remotes while the doors are locked.)  If she's getting into trouble in the kitchen, gate the whole room off.  At 16 months, she really is just exploring.  Even if it's making you crazy :) 




DixieFlower
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 5:57 PM
1 mom liked this

This is really good advice. At 16 months they are learning about their world. So making a "safe" spot will help eliminate some of the issues.

Quoting emmy526:

make an environment suitable for a 16mo old...they don't understand danger, and it's much easier for YOU if you create a baby safe place...that way you are not yelling at her and she can explore without dangers. 


DixieFlower
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:00 PM
1 mom liked this

Your logic is very flawed here. Just because a child isn't spanked doesn't mean they aren't disciplined. There are many methods of discipline that don't require hitting a child. Yes, no matter what you call it spanking, popping, whipping etc.. it's still hitting. There are a lot of children that have grown up without spankings that don't get out of hand. Just like there are children that did get spankings that are out of hand.

Quoting KaliyahImani:

Yes it is not child abuse to spank your child with a open hand they actullay tell you its okay although some states are different but that seems to be the only thing that help my child is 23months old and she listens because she doeant want to be spanked you are going to have to start out young because if she gets older it will get out of hand.


KCayea
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:04 PM

pick her up and put her in a play pen, and let her cry, of course tell her no twice 1st then 3rd time is out playpen.. thats all you can do really

KaliyahImani
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:19 PM

well that is how you feel and every one is they own person i believe as a person some people do this and it does have to do with it alot of how your child is already. Some people dont "SPANK" there kids and these are the ones they show out in public falll on the floor yell and cry bet you this mine doesnt nor doesnt anyon of my nieces or nephews. I believe if your child hits you or bits you its your chose to punish them so. What ever you do is your business ad they came out of you so if i wanna spank my kids i can if you dont you dont have to. If you put you kid in the corner at one years old are they going to stay... no if you put them in they room they will play and if you take something away from them they going to go get it or get somehing else THAT IS MY PERSONAL OPTION TO DO Thank you have a great evening

KaliyahImani
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:32 PM

Really to all the moms that disagree with spanking saying just put you baby in the playpen and let her cry I dont agree with that either and spanking isnt always an option but who are we to say how to go bout this when its her child. My daughter doenst love me any less and she doeant hit anyone cause she knows not to nor does she bit spit or anything like that she is welll manared saysyes mama yes daddy and says plese and thank you.Soooooo It  this case i refuse to just let either one of my kids cry because as a study shows its not good for them either. Just look it up. I beleive you can do what ever you please to punish your kids they came out you not nobody else PERIOD>>> IN this case bitting and all OOO heck no my child has never bit me and if thats what you "MOMS" thinks it okay welll its not then she will go out and bit nd hit people to ill be darned if my either my kids will get older and do that. I personally think opinon doesnt matter. Its your baby do what you think will work try different things and see what will work FOR YOU!!!

thanush
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 6:45 PM
With my daughter me walking away on her or telling her that I would works best when she doesn't listen.
Spanking may backfire and you may end up doing that all the time... It never worked for my dd so I do not spank anymore.
Best is to chose your battles.
salamandersmom
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 7:15 PM

I'm assuming when you say you remove her from the situation that you mean you are picking her up and moving her somewhere else, whereupon she just returns to what she was doing before....

She's 16 months old.  You are the MOM.  This is easy to solve.  You may give her ONE WARNING.  (A firm NO.)   If she chooses to ignore, then you pick her up.  Hitting and biting are not allowed, they get a quick swat on the diapered bottom (which won't hurt her but will make a lot of noise) and a very stern and displeased NO from you.  And, at this point, it's off to the penalty box... that is, the playpen.  I have NO IDEA why these things fell out of vogue, besides that some do-gooder decided that it was damaging to their little psyches to pen up your child like a pet.  I assure you, I used one for my kids, and they are life-savers.  Peace of mind for you  that your child isn't into trouble as you wash dishes or clean the toilet.  When they are insistant upon getting into trouble like tipping books off the shelf over and over, you can give yourself a break, knowing they are safe.  They are wonderful inventions.  So, when she's bad and doesn't heed the warning, in the pen she goes.  And, she stays there for a while.  It might take some repetition, but she will make the connection between you saying no and her ignoring you so she gets punished by being penned up where she can't cause trouble.    Being in the playpen will not hurt her.  She may have toys in there, where she can play safely.  If she screams at you in anger while in the pen - and you know the difference between that noise and a child truly in distress -you just ignore her.   I know it will be hard, but IGNORE the bad behavior. 

lol... and remember, it's easier to straighten out this behavior NOW when she is small, vs when she is 5 or 8 or 10. 

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