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My dd is 16 months old and driving me crazy! I know she gets what no means but she does not care! I have tried everything and now find myself yelling a lot which does not help! She just ignores me! When I try to move her out of the situation she hits or bites and time outs mean nothing to her. I feel like I am at the end of my rope! I need advice ladies! I do not want to be that parent thats screaming all the time! : (

by on Oct. 2, 2012 at 2:10 PM
Replies (71-80):
SlapItHigh
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:09 AM

Read Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen :).

Momsthename0609
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:19 AM
A baby that age has no impulse control. They just do what they want and don't think about it and time outs won't work at that age because she doesn't understand what a time out is yet. I was consistently moving my kids away from things they weren't suppose to do at that age and it is frustrating. When my 18 month old hit or bit at that age I would say "that hurts, no biting, kisses instead" and for hitting I would say the same thing but I would say be gentle instead of kisses. He no longer hits or bites.
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Rosies50
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:20 AM
Have her hearing checked. Found out my son had hearing problems and autism at the age of 2. Had to have tubes put in to drain the fluid that blocked his ear drums, twice.
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jmegee
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 9:29 AM

Helped me alot doing this. Great idea. Give you a moment to cool down also. 

Quoting CLG122:

I disagree with the other moms.  Spanking is NOT appropriate for a 16 month old.  Especially if she's been hitting.  Spanking will just reinforce that we hit when we don't like what someone's doing-- seriously.

I would do this: set up a Pack N Play with NO TOYS in it.  Put it in a separate room from where you usually are, or an out-of-the-way spot where she won't be able to make eye contact with you.  EVERY SINGLE TIME she bites/hits/etc, you say "NO biting" and put her in that Pack N Play for 90 seconds.  Set a timer.  Do not talk to her or look at her during time out.  When time's up, you pick her up and say "no biting, okay?  Be a nice girl!" Smile and give her a hug.  She has to know that you will not tolerate the behavior, but that you forgive and still love her.

16 month olds are tricky!

You have to be consistent.  But you should definitely not use time-out or any other kind of punishment when she's just getting into things that you don't want her touching.  The answer for that is baby-proofing.  If you don't want her touching the DVD player, get a TV unit with doors and put a zip tie or cabinet lock on it.  (Ours has glass doors so we can use the remotes while the doors are locked.)  If she's getting into trouble in the kitchen, gate the whole room off.  At 16 months, she really is just exploring.  Even if it's making you crazy :) 



DixieFlower
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 5:26 PM

Wow what a judgement. How do you know that the ones that show out in public are the ones that aren't spank? My mom believed in spanking. My middle sister used to throw the biggest fits in the store. No matter what my mom did. My mom used to always tell her "Either stop it now or we are going to the car" Which translated to "stop it or we are going to the car and I'm beating your ass"  Didn't stop her behavior one bit.  Aren't we raising children? Why are we punishing instead of disciplining? Also I wouldn't use time out as a discipline for a one year old. There are alternatives. As to taking something away. If they are misbehaving with that one thing I don't care if they pick something else as long as they aren't misbehaving with it.  Explain to me how you tell your child do as I say not as I do?  Aren't we supposed to teach by example. So if I hit my child, what's to stop them from thinking it's okay to hit and they then hit? As I stated my mom spanked her children. I have two sisters. Both were out of hand. No amount of "spankings" changed that. They'd skip school, sneak out, not do as my mother said.  I really believe had my mom changed the way she disciplined they wouldn't have been so out of hand. My husband believes in spankings. I don't. Our sons listen better to me than they do him. He actually gets a bit upset that I can get more accomplished during the day when I've got them than he does.

Quoting KaliyahImani:

well that is how you feel and every one is they own person i believe as a person some people do this and it does have to do with it alot of how your child is already. Some people dont "SPANK" there kids and these are the ones they show out in public falll on the floor yell and cry bet you this mine doesnt nor doesnt anyon of my nieces or nephews. I believe if your child hits you or bits you its your chose to punish them so. What ever you do is your business ad they came out of you so if i wanna spank my kids i can if you dont you dont have to. If you put you kid in the corner at one years old are they going to stay... no if you put them in they room they will play and if you take something away from them they going to go get it or get somehing else THAT IS MY PERSONAL OPTION TO DO Thank you have a great evening


KaliyahImani
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:38 PM
And my point this is your opinion its better for some people the. Others. Also my kids came out of me and yours came out of you so what you do is for what i do is for me my daughter.doesnt love me any less and she doent hit ANYBODY AT ALL NOR BITES AND NEVER HAS so have a good evening


Quoting DixieFlower:

Wow what a judgement. How do you know that the ones that show out in public are the ones that aren't spank? My mom believed in spanking. My middle sister used to throw the biggest fits in the store. No matter what my mom did. My mom used to always tell her "Either stop it now or we are going to the car" Which translated to "stop it or we are going to the car and I'm beating your ass"  Didn't stop her behavior one bit.  Aren't we raising children? Why are we punishing instead of disciplining? Also I wouldn't use time out as a discipline for a one year old. There are alternatives. As to taking something away. If they are misbehaving with that one thing I don't care if they pick something else as long as they aren't misbehaving with it.  Explain to me how you tell your child do as I say not as I do?  Aren't we supposed to teach by example. So if I hit my child, what's to stop them from thinking it's okay to hit and they then hit? As I stated my mom spanked her children. I have two sisters. Both were out of hand. No amount of "spankings" changed that. They'd skip school, sneak out, not do as my mother said.  I really believe had my mom changed the way she disciplined they wouldn't have been so out of hand. My husband believes in spankings. I don't. Our sons listen better to me than they do him. He actually gets a bit upset that I can get more accomplished during the day when I've got them than he does.


Quoting KaliyahImani:

well that is how you feel and every one is they own person i believe as a person some people do this and it does have to do with it alot of how your child is already. Some people dont "SPANK" there kids and these are the ones they show out in public falll on the floor yell and cry bet you this mine doesnt nor doesnt anyon of my nieces or nephews. I believe if your child hits you or bits you its your chose to punish them so. What ever you do is your business ad they came out of you so if i wanna spank my kids i can if you dont you dont have to. If you put you kid in the corner at one years old are they going to stay... no if you put them in they room they will play and if you take something away from them they going to go get it or get somehing else THAT IS MY PERSONAL OPTION TO DO Thank you have a great evening



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DixieFlower
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:43 PM

I'm not sure why you are all on the defensive. I never attacked you. I never said it was wrong to hit your child. I never said your child doesn't love you any less.

Quoting KaliyahImani:

And my point this is your opinion its better for some people the. Others. Also my kids came out of me and yours came out of you so what you do is for what i do is for me my daughter.doesnt love me any less and she doent hit ANYBODY AT ALL NOR BITES AND NEVER HAS so have a good evening


KaliyahImani
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 11:58 PM
No i didnt mean it that way im sorry if i seem that way im just such a serious person i love people that express there opinions it helps me learn more and other people to im not perfect im just me


Quoting DixieFlower:

I'm not sure why you are all on the defensive. I never attacked you. I never said it was wrong to hit your child. I never said your child doesn't love you any less.


Quoting KaliyahImani:

And my point this is your opinion its better for some people the. Others. Also my kids came out of me and yours came out of you so what you do is for what i do is for me my daughter.doesnt love me any less and she doent hit ANYBODY AT ALL NOR BITES AND NEVER HAS so have a good evening





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Basherte
by Bronze Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:52 AM

I am going to be hated by a lot of people by this response. I don't care.


Get your child to a pediatrician now, and tell that ped this stuff. This is part of the reason I did. I'm not saying your child will have autism or be on the spectrum, but that is what happened with my son.

At the very least, early intervention could help with the hiting and the biting.  Does your child talk yet?

If she did and stopped or doesn't talk yet, the hitting and the biting could be frustration that she can't get you to understand what she wants you to understand. I know that therapy helped a lot in that. Once he felt he was able to communicate while not speaking the tantrums and the hitting and biting stopped. Almost immediately. 


Please give an update. I didn't read any responses to this before I responded. So if I have echoed another Mom's response, I second her opinion. If not, please don't hate me for what I said. I'm truly trying to help. Not to scare or piss off anyone.

Kageegirl
by Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 8:09 AM
She is 16 months old. A lot of the behavior you desrcibe is common behavior for a 16 month old. At this stage they are still learning their boundaries and testing them. Consistancy is key here. Tell her,"NO." Then remove her from the situation. If she bites or hit remind her that is a, "NO." If she throws a tanturm I'd ignore her because in my opinion that is her way of seeking attention. If the behavior continues and she isn't listening try putting her in time out. Set her somewhere for 1 minute. If she gets up and tries to walk away just keep putting her back. Eventually she will get the hint. My son just turned 2. We do time outs. We sit him in a corner for 2 minutes. If he gets out we just keep walking him back. If he is throwing a fit he knows he is not getting out of time out until he gets quiet. When time out is over I very simply explain what he did wrong like, Aiden no hit. Then he gets a hug and/or kiss to show momma still loves just doesn't like his behavior. I know this time isn't easy and can be frustating just remember to remain consistant and don't let her see your frustration. Good luck.
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