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Broken promises

Posted by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:03 PM
  • 23 Replies
So 2 days ago my dh cooked dinner. Delicous!! But then i asked him if he would mind cleaning up (before some of u start ranting, i cook and clean all the time). I had a 13 hr shift to work monday and didnt feel like staying up late to clean up. He said, "dont worry, I'll clean it tomorrow." I say, "everytime you say that, u never follow through." So he says, " i know but this time i promise i will." I get home last night, about 10:45, i walk in and the kitchen is still a wreck. I stood there for a brief moment and decided i wouldn't get mad this time cuz i didnt want to ruin the good day i had. I didn't kiss him like usual. I simply said, " you promised to do something and you didn't. Im taking a shower now." I showered, then i went to the kitchen and proceeded to clean it. Now i assumed he'd be like," babe, let me do it." Well no, that didnt happen. He started talking about FOOTBALL!!!! i was soooooo angry. Why say you're gonna do something and not do it. If he had no intention of doing it, he shouldn't have promised. Its rare that i ask for help around the house although i wish he would help. So for him to promise me and then break that promise, its like a stab in my back. Anybody else have these issues??
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by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:03 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Dinosaurspiders
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 5:15 PM

Yes. My husband is a good man but following through on a promise like that is not a serious thing to him and trying to convince him has caused many an argument. It boils down to the fact that he does not want to clean the kitchen, having a clean kitchen does not matter as much to him as it matters to me and that is an excuse for him not to have to do it. 

I wish I could crack the code of the male brain but all I know is what passes logically for one gender doesn't always pass for logic for the other, or even if its not a gender thing, different people have different priorities, and some spouses won't acknowledge your priority as one of their priorities. He is definitely in the wrong for making a promise and not following through. It's about that simple. Communicating that effectively and getting him to follow through may not be. Sorry about your current frustration, relationships and living together sometimes feels like a minefield, and it's real work to make it work. Good luck! :)

LadyBugMom09
by Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 5:18 PM
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Yes, that exact same issue. Are we married to the same man???? He's gotten better over the years from my nagging, but I hate nagging. :/
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jltplk25
by Gold Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 5:18 PM
Not always. Sometimes mine forgets though. He will cook but never clean up and tos so frustrating sometimes.
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ARMYWife624
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 6:01 PM
Haha quite possibly!!! When we first got our house he was a champ. Not so much now. :-/ the only reason the house is clean is cuz i do it but it is stressful because I have school, work, kids, and him. He doesn't understand how 1 time of cleaning the dishes would make a huge difference in my attitude.


Quoting LadyBugMom09:

Yes, that exact same issue. Are we married to the same man???? He's gotten better over the years from my nagging, but I hate nagging. :/

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LadyBugMom09
by Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 6:16 PM
Why don't you give him a "reward" the next time he actually does something. Even if it's something small. ;)


Quoting ARMYWife624:

Haha quite possibly!!! When we first got our house he was a champ. Not so much now. :-/ the only reason the house is clean is cuz i do it but it is stressful because I have school, work, kids, and him. He doesn't understand how 1 time of cleaning the dishes would make a huge difference in my attitude.




Quoting LadyBugMom09:

Yes, that exact same issue. Are we married to the same man???? He's gotten better over the years from my nagging, but I hate nagging. :/


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Jean8282
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 6:41 PM

Yep and the only time I will not forgive him happened when my son was a baby and cried all the time. He was unemployed and slept until 12 everyday. That night had been especially hard for me and my anxiety had been acting up and he told me he would get up and watch the kids the next day.

The next morning comes and he wont get up for anything so i give upd go get the kids up. All throughout the morning I tried waking him up and reminding himwhat he told me but he still would not get up. So at 12 after after I have put the kids down for a nap he decides he can get up say i am sorry I was just so tired my eyes would not stay open and that he will watch the kids the rest of the day... Um how about HELL NO!

he does not understand how much he betrayed me trust, I still do not trust him at all to this day.

lhiannan
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:15 PM

 I'm a sahm, and don't have dh clean since he works, but my 14 year old ds pulls this with me ALL THE TIME.  DH does forget to grab things out of the car (heavy bags of pet food/litter that I won't carry now that I'm pregnant).

roxiekittie
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:31 PM
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My husband does the same thing and it pisses off I always clean and make food and take care of the kids I ask for one thing and its always a fight. It's like having another child
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Pammi86
by Pamela on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:08 PM
I think it's men bc my dh has a terrible time with following through on things!
ARMYWife624
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:34 PM
I think their priorities are separate from ours but then he always complains if i haven't cleaned and i just wanna throw something at his head!


Quoting Pammi86:

I think it's men bc my dh has a terrible time with following through on things!

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