Advertisement
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Spanking

Posted by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:17 AM
  • 15 Replies
DD made me so upset this morning.. Yesterday I yelled at her a couple of times for standing on her Barbie doll house. I did end up taking the toy away. This morning when I work her up for school I went tO the bathroo then came back to check on her-she sure enough was standing on the house again .. So I tapped her butt a couple of times- I did it hard enough basically just to get the point across and to let her know I was serious.
I got her off the bus from
Preschool today and tells me her teacher told her to tell me that she was sorry for her Barbie house. I asked her if she told her teacher what happened and she yea
Nobody showed up so that's good cause with my anxiety disorder I was freaking out thinking somebody was going to show up and question me
what should I do next time should I have spanked( she hasn't done it sence I spanked her)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:17 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
LisaSalzman81
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:19 AM
I mainly dInt want people thinking I'm abusing my kid and taking it the wrong way ya know
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
goddess99
by Michelle on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:24 AM
2 moms liked this

I know, isn't spanking tricky..? To the best of my knowledge it's not illegal so I don't think anyone would ever come to your home and your dd admitted to wrong doing and that was the punishment. Really what can anyone say? If you don't want to spank, maybe try a time out or next time if you take something away put it somewhere where your child can't get to it again. I put stuff in my closet or deep in the basement - "the scary corner" lol.

NicLof2
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:30 AM
When my eldest was 3 he was strong willed and out of control I never spanked him and since his father and I had just separated I didn't want to upset him worse. I know now I wasnt doing him any good. I had applied for Medicaid (please don't judge I started a new job and needed insurance for him) point is my cas worker from child services told me to put the phone down and spank him. I was shocked I told her "I thought it was against the law to spank a child" he said "no, it's against the law to leave bruises or to abuse a child" that all children need discipline. This is in FL. I see nothing wrong with a little spanking as long as your calm when you do it, it's with your hand. I spanked my eldest when he was 3-5 I haven't had to spank him since sending him to his room works now. With my LO we are going to play it by ear. I think different punishments work for different children and spanking isn't alway the answer. But with my eldest it was the only thing that worked.

Good luck and don't beat your self up. Also sounds to me you did the right thing, you tried other things 1st when they didn't work you spanked and it seemed to work so don't be hard on your self. You sound like a good, loving mom to me.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
salamandersmom
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:45 AM

Don't count out a visit from CPS yet.  You might want to call the teacher at the school and talk to her, tell her you are embarassed, but explain what happened.  And, look, there is nothing wrong with a swat or two to make a point.  It kind of says "HEY!  I'm talking to YOU."  It shouldn't be your first choice, but in most places a swat is not considered child abuse.  In most places, you may use a hand to spank, a couple of swats. You didn't hit her when you were in a rage.  You didn't beat her, and you did not use your full strength.  You didn't leave marks.  You did not beat her with a belt, flyswatter, wooden spoon, yardstick, etc.  (THAT would be a sign of abuse!)  You did try to get DD to stay off the Barbie house in other ways.  Only after she refused to listen, and you caught her doing that several times did you give her a swat.  It does work, .  Again, you don't want to spank for everything, but as a once in a while thing it should be fine.

jltplk25
by Gold Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:46 AM
Spanking isn't worth calling about unless you've left bruises or marks and it isnt repeated incident. I'm assuming your lo admitted to standing on the house and the teacher knew why you did what you did. I wouldn't dwell on it much more. :)
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
TaraLani
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 11:57 AM

When my SIL was getting investigated down here in FL, they said that so long as it is on the meaty part of the bottom with nothing other than a hand or a flimsy belt, and there are no lasting marks (bruises, welts, etc.) it is not abuse. That being said, I spank. I use my other options first, talking about what they are doing wrong, time out, taking things away, but sometimes you just have to spank. I grew up getting spanked. Normally by my mom, but on 3 occasions that I can remember, it was my dad. Only 3. lol. All she had to do was say "I'm going to get your father up!" (He worked nights) and that was it, we were scared and perfect for her for about an hour or two. Sometimes a small pop on the hand does the trick, too. I guess it depends on your state, but there is a generation onw being raised without spankings and getting trophies just for participating, so that they all feel equal, even if some of them did nothing but sit in the background, trying not to be noticed. I, and my whole family, believe in "Spare the rod, spoil the child." Let someone report me- my kids are the most well behaved at just about every event we go to, they have a big old house to grow up in and explore, they eat healthy, they are both almost spot on with their height/weight/age ratios, they are both doing great in school, and they know that there are punishments for doing naughty things. CPS is SUPPOSED to be protecting the children who are being abused, not abusing the families that are actually raising their kids right. I applaud you for trying to teach her that standing on  Barbie house is NOT ok- she could break it, or she could get hurt. Kids don't always understand things when we explain them, but more often than not, a spanking will take care of it. Especially on younger children- I'm guessing about 4, since you said preschool.

almondpigeon
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 12:09 PM

I think it might depend on what area you're in as well.  When my 3 yo was about 18 months old, he turned in to a holy terror.  the daycare people actually told me, "well, all he needs is a good butt whipping". if he would have come to daycare & told them i spanked, they would have probably all given me a high 5!  a swat on the butt is not abuse.  

Janet
by Ruby Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:10 PM

Here the welfare is against spanking.

ARMYWife624
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 1:25 PM
I'm studying law! It depends on where you live. Spanking isn't considered abuse unless it's anywhere other than their behind. In some places, you can only use your hand. No belts, paddle boards or anything else. I had an officer show up to my house for a robbery and while he was there i took the time to ask him if i was legally allowed to spank my son. His reply was, " legally you can do whatever you feel necessary to discipline your child as long as you are not abusing the child emotionally or physically. The only problem is CPS doesn't feel the same way that the law does. I spank my kids, I'm even guilty of back handing them. But it isn't illegal." Hope it helps. And if the teacher. Questions u, tell her " frankly, it isn't your business how I discipline my child unless she shows signs of abuse or neglect which she does not. I appreciate you taking the time to find out whether or not I spank my child. Have a great day." :-) good luck. P.s. I'm glad you believe in spanking.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
delanna6two
by Platinum Member on Oct. 11, 2012 at 2:19 PM

 I agree with taking away the things that she likes for a time as an alternative to try....

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)