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Adoption, please read!!!

Posted by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 8:41 PM
  • 37 Replies

This is the rough draft of a speech I am giving on November 8 during the Maine State adoption day.  Can you please let me know what you think.

Thanks

 

I was adopted immediately from the hospital at birth.  My parents were able to take me home straight from the hospital.  My adoptive mother was adopted as well, and after having two boys of her own, she wanted a little girl, so she and my adoptive father decided that they were going to try adoption.

I met my biological mother when I was 27.  I spent most of my teen years looking for my biological parents; only to have every letter I ever sent, to the only address I had been given, disappear into thin air.  I finally came to the conclusion that they didn't want anything to do with me, and I was fine with that.  I moved on, got married, and had children of my own.  Out of the blue, 5 years ago, my mom called me and told me that my biological mother had contacted her, and she wanted to get to know me.  We started to get to know each other, and the more that I got to know her, the more I realized how fortunate I was, to be adopted.  The day I met her will be forever etched into my mind.  I drove up to their apartment, and was met with an overwhelming smell of something other than cigarette smoke.  Crystal meth had taken a toll on her body, and chronic alcohol abuse had ruined her ability to carry on a normal conversation. After I left her house, I picked up my cell phone, called my mom and I could only get two words out of my mouth and they were "thank you".  "Thank you for taking me out of that mess and raising me".

I have no doubt, that if I had not been adopted, I would be drug addicted or dead right now.  By giving me up for adoption, my biological mother and father gave me a chance to see the world, play a musical instrument that some people have never heard of, play concerts in places where some of the world's most famous composers have played.  They gave me a chance at a real life.  They gave me a chance to get away from my biological family's lifestyle.  I have been able to travel, been able to meet a lot of amazing people and have gotten to know about many other cultures. How many people can actually say that they have gotten to play a concert in the exact same spot that Mozart had conducted his own orchestra in Austria, or gotten to sing" Ein Feste Burg dis Unser Gott" in the exact spot where Martin Luther wrote it, in Germany, or getting to play at one of the oldest Roman monasteries in Aosta, Italy.

 My adoptive parents have given me an amazing life.  The chances I have been given, the education I have been given, the love and support they have given me, even when I acted like a complete and total twit during my teenage years.  A family doesn't always mean DNA.  A family is there for you when you screw up, and helps you pick up the pieces and move on.  A family is people who teach you right from wrong.  My family is the people who adopted me.  They have always been there for me when no one else was. 

Webster's dictionary defines adoption as, "To take into one's family through legal means and raise as one's own child".  When my adoptive mother was a child, her mother taught her a little comeback when she was teased by other children for being adopted.  In turn, my grandmother taught it to me when I was teased by children for being adopted.  The saying is "At least my parents got to choose me.  Yours got stuck with you".

Adoption, to me, is the greatest gift a person could ever give.  To take a child out of a possibly dangerous situation, like mine, and give them the world.

So, mom and dad, I now have a great chance to publicly say Thank- you!  You are amazing and every single day I am thankful that you plucked me out of that disaster and gave me a chance

by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 8:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
CreziaMommyTo2
by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 8:45 PM

no offense, but it sounds like it was written by a 12 year old... i am by no means a good writer, but if its from the heart that is all that should matter.

i am adopted as well.  both my parents are deceased. 

edelweiss23
by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 8:48 PM
That's why I said it is a rough draft.
I have 2 weeks to refine it.
It's been a long time since I have written anything and I sometimes have a hard time putting what I am thinking, into words.


Quoting CreziaMommyTo2:

no offense, but it sounds like it was written by a 12 year old... i am by no means a good writer, but if its from the heart that is all that should matter.

i am adopted as well.  both my parents are deceased. 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
grneyedormom
by Member on Oct. 18, 2012 at 9:45 PM
2 moms liked this
I respectfully disagree and as an adoptee as well, feel that personal accounts of adoption are going to be from the heart vs. a professionally written statement. If I were writing something to read, my statement would sound very close to this regarding my adoption and I've written multiple graduate level papers. It's an emotional subject!

Quoting CreziaMommyTo2:

no offense, but it sounds like it was written by a 12 year old... i am by no means a good writer, but if its from the heart that is all that should matter.

i am adopted as well.  both my parents are deceased. 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
edelweiss23
by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 9:48 PM
Thanks.
I didn't know if my dad, mom and brothers(all doctors and RNs) were just trying to be nice and not hurt my feelings by saying it was good!


Quoting grneyedormom:

I respectfully disagree and as an adoptee as well, feel that personal accounts of adoption are going to be from the heart vs. a professionally written statement. If I were writing something to read, my statement would sound very close to this regarding my adoption and I've written multiple graduate level papers. It's an emotional subject!



Quoting CreziaMommyTo2:

no offense, but it sounds like it was written by a 12 year old... i am by no means a good writer, but if its from the heart that is all that should matter.

i am adopted as well.  both my parents are deceased. 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
grneyedormom
by Member on Oct. 18, 2012 at 9:54 PM
Reality is, for many adoptees that their bio-parents lived tough, rough lives. There are lucky adoptees who were blessed to become a part if a family that could give them what their bio's could not. It's exactly why my bio-mom placed me for adoption. Even for an adoptee without a "happy ending" so to speak will write on an emotional level.
Quoting edelweiss23:

Thanks.

I didn't know if my dad, mom and brothers(all doctors and RNs) were just trying to be nice and not hurt my feelings by saying it was good!



Quoting grneyedormom:

I respectfully disagree and as an adoptee as well, feel that personal accounts of adoption are going to be from the heart vs. a professionally written statement. If I were writing something to read, my statement would sound very close to this regarding my adoption and I've written multiple graduate level papers. It's an emotional subject!





Quoting CreziaMommyTo2:

no offense, but it sounds like it was written by a 12 year old... i am by no means a good writer, but if its from the heart that is all that should matter.

i am adopted as well.  both my parents are deceased. 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
mom2gr8tgirls
by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 9:59 PM

I think it's good.  You can tell it's written straight from your heart.

je80ss
by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 10:17 PM
I think its beautiful the way it is.
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KLove_Mom
by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 10:22 PM

It's your story, and it's honest.  That's what really matters. My only critique on it is maybe to add in somewhere "I know not every adoptee shares the same story, but for me, I am so thankful..."  That way it doesn't sound so much like you think every adoption story has the same sobs on one side and happy ending on the other.

Personally, I'm happy to read this account because my husband and I are about to submit paperwork to an agency to adopt an infant or toddler boy to add to our family with our 3 bio children. 
Thank you for sharing. 

edelweiss23
by on Oct. 18, 2012 at 10:27 PM
Thank you!
I wanted to say something like what you suggested!!
I appreciate constructive criticism like yours!!


Quoting KLove_Mom:

It's your story, and it's honest.  That's what really matters. My only critique on it is maybe to add in somewhere "I know not every adoptee shares the same story, but for me, I am so thankful..."  That way it doesn't sound so much like you think every adoption story has the same sobs on one side and happy ending on the other.

Personally, I'm happy to read this account because my husband and I are about to submit paperwork to an agency to adopt an infant or toddler boy to add to our family with our 3 bio children. 
Thank you for sharing. 


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
grneyedormom
by Member on Oct. 18, 2012 at 11:29 PM

This is a perfect way to express and validate that adoption is not always peaches and cream, yet, this is how it is for you, personally. :)

Quoting KLove_Mom:

It's your story, and it's honest.  That's what really matters. My only critique on it is maybe to add in somewhere "I know not every adoptee shares the same story, but for me, I am so thankful..."  That way it doesn't sound so much like you think every adoption story has the same sobs on one side and happy ending on the other.

Personally, I'm happy to read this account because my husband and I are about to submit paperwork to an agency to adopt an infant or toddler boy to add to our family with our 3 bio children. 
Thank you for sharing. 


Proud Momma to one fabulous 4th grader.

wearing crowngirl giving flower


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