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Should I call CPS? Update

Posted by on Oct. 21, 2012 at 12:50 AM
  • 51 Replies

So giving all the details would take forever. Basically, my former best friend and I have drifted apart recently because she is kind of a follower and I didn't fit in with her new crowd. Real quick. She and her husband just split up. They took in her brother, then her brother's two friends. Her husband soon accused her of being too flirtatious with on of the friends who is 18, they would cuddle, fall asleep on the couch ect. He moved out and low and behold look who she's dating and yes she was cheating. We know this bc her of following conversation her dd had with her dad in front of on of our mutual friends

"Are you and mommy breaking up?"

"I don't know sweetie but all you need to know is that we both love you no matter what."

"Will you stay with mommy if I make her stop sleeping with Melvin." Apparently she sometimes locks her out of the room and she can hear her screaming but that's not why I want to call. 

Her house is now some kind of demented half way house for teens and they have destroyed it. No on cleans, according to one of our friends (she won't let me come over bc other people have freaked out on her) it's in no way suitable for little kids, the 2 dogs, 2 cats and 2 chinchillas just poop on the floor and the smell is revolting. Everything is dirty.

Her daughter smells bad, to the point that its beyond just playing outside and she has had random rashes on her.

She bleached her 5 year old dd head so she could dye her hair pink and blue, this left bald patches. 

BC she isn't paying her bills she pulled her dd out of the small private school she was in but didn't sign her up right away for public school. When she did sign her up it was a 1 1/2 weeks before she got to go back bc the school wouldn't let her in with the crazy hair. She didn't tell her ex and he didn't find out until his dd told him she wasn't going to school. He fixed her hair right away so she could go to school. The hair dresser took pity on him and fixed it for $35 even though she was there all night trying to keep it from falling out or getting worse.  I saw the texts my friend sent him and she was pissed that he fixed her hair w/o permission bc she wants their dd to be free to "express herself" and "be artistic." The kids head looked like a snow cone just like the little teens she has living with her.\

She had her dd 3 feet away from a moving train, "enjoying the feeling of being alive" it gives her, she let her walk at night on train tracks with her and her boyfriend. This worries me bc grown men have been sucked under fast moving trains and you shouldn't teach kids to play on train tracks. 

She let her dd watch as her brother and her new boyfriend climbed billboards.

Her new boyfriend and some 16 year old boy that she took in walk around naked around her 5 year old dd

She lets her dd get in bed with her and 18 year old new boyfriend when he's still naked and her dd knows that he's naked. 

they all do drugs and pass out in her bed or on the floor together and she told me that since everybody takes turns sleeping her her bed with her and Scarlett that Scarlett won't know or put together that she and NBF were together before and right after her dh split, which obviously she has.

Oh, yes and yesterday she let her dd watch as she towed her new boyfriend with her car while he rode his skateboard. 

*********UPDATE

So I called the police and they did a welfair check. The officer told me that he did point out some issues in the home, overly dirty fridge, pet stains, smell of pets ect because he knows that CPS would tell her to fix them. He didn't talk to her about the sleeping arangment but said that CPS likes that she has her own bed. (The kid climbs in bed with her mom almost every night) or about her saying she was scared when mommy's screaming and the door is locked. I don't know if it was brough up to him, he was mostly just checking for immediate danger. So the mom posts on Facebook that whoever got the cops called on her needs to stop fucking with her bc she's a great mom and the cop liked everything he saw and all they did was make her daughter hysterical. So I guess it won't scare her straight. The dad (who she has bashed at every turn) told the cops she was a good mom. Presumably because he doesn't want to have to take care of her. I texted her and told her that she's making people worried with all the stuff she's posting, that she isn't herself and that she's making a mess of her life. She told me that playing on the train tracks, climbing billboards is a normal kid thing and that they wouldn't fine her for that. I'm fairly sure that it is illegal, just like car surfing and doesn't she think that the neighbors might be concerned about her kid seeing this stuff? I can't even bring up the other stuff because she'll just lie. I don't know if calling CPS will help. There isn't any physical evidence that these kids are wandering around naked or anything. The officer did say that there was food for her dd, and that she had marked it to keep the room mates from eating it. He also said he told her that having roommates who don't pay rent and live there for free is not an excuse for a dirty house, they need to spend their time cleaning. I told him it wasn't the first time she heard that. 

by on Oct. 21, 2012 at 12:50 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Maevelyn
by on Oct. 21, 2012 at 12:51 AM

sorry for spelling or grammar errors I don't feel like proof reading it. All comments on spelling or grammar will be ignored. 

Darqdaughter
by on Oct. 21, 2012 at 12:55 AM
3 moms liked this

Call CPS, the living conditions are bad enough, but if  ANYONE slept naked in a bed with MY child, the police would be toteing them out in a body bag. Unacceptable. PERIOD

Goodluck Mama, Get that baby out of there!

Caitlinsmom09
by on Oct. 21, 2012 at 12:59 AM
Omg call!
That poor baby :(
Goodluck!
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Ginnygurl97
by on Oct. 21, 2012 at 1:14 AM
1 mom liked this
Have you talked to the dad about your concerns? Or some other close friends? I know I don't know the whole story, have you tried an intervention? Or has the dad tried to take the daughter out? If anybody should call it should be him, that way they could immediately place her w him if they felt the need to take her away. I don't know where you live but here in Florida dcf can be really ass backwards. I had a friend go thru a bad situation. The daughter was 11 and in a 2 bedroom place w mom, another couple and their 3 kids and random various people(mostly guys) that crashed there whenever. The daughter didn't have a room as the mom said she paid rent so she got the room. So this poor little girl who is 11 yrs old, going thru the beginning of puberty and all is sleeping on a futon in what would be the dining area. No door, no curtain, no screen, no NOTHING to give her any privacy. And she would say the bathroom didn't lock cuz the other little kids would lock themselves in, so she was in the shower one day and some older guy just walked in and went about his business like no one was there. (There was a lot more that happened just wanted to give you a little backstory) but it took over a year for dcf to do anything. And when they finally did they put her in z group home for two weeks cuz the most recent call they had was from a neighbor and not the dad. Supposedly if the dad had been the last one to call(which he did so many times they just didn't get to it) then she would have just gone straight to his house. I'm sure there's other stuff going on there as well. But that's why I said to have dad do it. And if she was your friend before maybe if you guys could give her a reality check that she could potentially lose her daughter.... I don't know. I just know what happened to my friend. But something should change before that girl gets older and one of those teens decides to do something horrible if they are on drugs as you say. I hope your friend will settle back down and you guys can intervene. Good luck to you ALL!!!
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Maevelyn
by on Oct. 21, 2012 at 1:20 AM

we've all tried talking to her seperately but she's in denile, she keeps saying that she's a great mom and "if you don't see it you don't have to see my daughter." I talked to the dad last night. He's super depressed, drunk all the time and he keeps saying he has to get on his feet bc he's staying with his mom and she's sick and can't watch his dd while he works. I'm all for trying an intervention but my other friends who have seen more and been more direct then I have are all for calling CPS. We live in Florida too although I might no some one who has CPS connections. 

Quoting Ginnygurl97:

Have you talked to the dad about your concerns? Or some other close friends? I know I don't know the whole story, have you tried an intervention? Or has the dad tried to take the daughter out? If anybody should call it should be him, that way they could immediately place her w him if they felt the need to take her away. I don't know where you live but here in Florida dcf can be really ass backwards. I had a friend go thru a bad situation. The daughter was 11 and in a 2 bedroom place w mom, another couple and their 3 kids and random various people(mostly guys) that crashed there whenever. The daughter didn't have a room as the mom said she paid rent so she got the room. So this poor little girl who is 11 yrs old, going thru the beginning of puberty and all is sleeping on a futon in what would be the dining area. No door, no curtain, no screen, no NOTHING to give her any privacy. And she would say the bathroom didn't lock cuz the other little kids would lock themselves in, so she was in the shower one day and some older guy just walked in and went about his business like no one was there. (There was a lot more that happened just wanted to give you a little backstory) but it took over a year for dcf to do anything. And when they finally did they put her in z group home for two weeks cuz the most recent call they had was from a neighbor and not the dad. Supposedly if the dad had been the last one to call(which he did so many times they just didn't get to it) then she would have just gone straight to his house. I'm sure there's other stuff going on there as well. But that's why I said to have dad do it. And if she was your friend before maybe if you guys could give her a reality check that she could potentially lose her daughter.... I don't know. I just know what happened to my friend. But something should change before that girl gets older and one of those teens decides to do something horrible if they are on drugs as you say. I hope your friend will settle back down and you guys can intervene. Good luck to you ALL!!!


Ginnygurl97
by on Oct. 21, 2012 at 1:27 AM
What about other family? I'd hate to see her end up in foster care til they sorted it out. Or would one of your friends or you be willing to offer temporary care? The dad needs to get up and realize the severity of the situation. If the school calls it could be worse. I'm so sorry you have to be a spectator for this. Not just seeing the little girl go thru it but also seeing your friend making bad choices :-(
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Maevelyn
by on Oct. 21, 2012 at 1:30 AM

A couple have people have offered to take her while her mom gets herself together but she's acting crazy. It's like she wants her to be taken away. The entire thing is so stressful and sad.

Quoting Ginnygurl97:

What about other family? I'd hate to see her end up in foster care til they sorted it out. Or would one of your friends or you be willing to offer temporary care? The dad needs to get up and realize the severity of the situation. If the school calls it could be worse. I'm so sorry you have to be a spectator for this. Not just seeing the little girl go thru it but also seeing your friend making bad choices :-(


orngblsm
by Member on Oct. 21, 2012 at 1:41 AM
Call CPS immediately. Either that or get her dad to take her and apply for emergency temporary custody. If you can, offer to watch her while he works. He sounds depressed about what his ex-wife is doing, but his daughter needs him right now because her mother is having a mid-life crisis. If the state takes her, you may be able to get court-ordered guardianship of her. Call a family law attorney and find out. Honestly, given that poor girl's current home life, foster care would be a step up.
Ginnygurl97
by on Oct. 21, 2012 at 1:48 AM
I'm so sorry :-( you said you might have a connection? Talk to them and see what they advise. I don't know how close you were w the dad but he needs to sober up and be there for his little girl. God. What an awful thing. No child deserves to be put thru that. And what she said to her dad about her mom sleeping w another guy. She's too little to even know that :-(


Quoting Maevelyn:

A couple have people have offered to take her while her mom gets herself together but she's acting crazy. It's like she wants her to be taken away. The entire thing is so stressful and sad.

Quoting Ginnygurl97:

What about other family? I'd hate to see her end up in foster care til they sorted it out. Or would one of your friends or you be willing to offer temporary care? The dad needs to get up and realize the severity of the situation. If the school calls it could be worse. I'm so sorry you have to be a spectator for this. Not just seeing the little girl go thru it but also seeing your friend making bad choices :-(



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KRIZZ25
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we try to make excuses for ower kids bad behavior. when its ower fault for letting it happen in first place.we need to show them how to behave. dont make excuses ..make solutions ..
Monday at 9:54 PM
by Member on Oct. 21, 2012 at 1:57 AM
yea u need to keep records of what she has sayed looked like every thing..and call asap.. something will happen soon ..u need to help that child out.
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