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My youngest DD is sleeping in bed with us. Has been since four months after she was in the PICU for a week and we just never broke the habit. Now I think it's time to break the habit. But when we lay her down in the pack and play she pops her head up and screams bloddy murder! What is it ??! and how do i fix it ?

by on Nov. 4, 2012 at 10:16 PM
Replies (21-30):
stickyfingers
by on Dec. 14, 2012 at 12:09 AM
i didnt get mine out till about 15 months...i just ignored her one night when she woke up...i fel aweful but she slept through the night after that. she would wake up to nurse for a min or two lol
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DarlaHood
by on Dec. 14, 2012 at 12:16 AM

Yep, putting her bed by yours is by far the easiest thing to do.  This is gonna be happening on and off for the next 4 or 5 years at least.  She probably will go through periods where you think the problem is solved, and then it will crop up again.  It just goes with the territory for most parents.

But look at it this way, you want your dd to be super smart and calm, right?  Well research now shows that children crave touches and cuddles for a reason.  It makes their brains grow.  It helps neural connections to form.  This brain growth and the neurons that grow affect learning and behavior, language, and lots of other things.  So when you're feeling frustrated cuz your girl is crying, just remember that she's telling you to give her a touch or a cuddle and give her brain a boost!  Also secure attachment is the foundation for exploration and acheiving appropriate stages of identity and self esteem.  So you are helping her feel secure now, so she can venture into the world later and know you will be a reliable safety net. 

And I swear it goes by fast.  My youngest is home from college today for a few weeks.  I couldn't wait to cuddle and snuggle her.  I miss her so much.  And she slept next to me on and off for her first 5 years. 

orngblsm
by Member on Dec. 14, 2012 at 11:42 PM

Even at ten months, gradually move her out.  have her bed next to yours, let her fall asleep in yours and move her to her own bed, and let her sleep with one of your nightgowns or tshirts, etc.

Quoting SheciaBaby:

no... Ten months


Quoting orngblsm:

If I read your profile right, your daughter is now four years old.  You will have a fight on your hands.  Start by getting her a toddler bed that can be set up next to yours.  (She is too old for a Pack 'N' Play.  Those are for babies, which she isn't any longer.)  Let her fall asleep in your bed and then move her to the other bed.  Make sure she has a nightgown or something of yours to hold on to while she sleeps.  Try having her take naps on her own bed and eventually to go to sleep in her own bed.  After she gets used to that, move her to her own room and you be with her while she goes to sleep.  Set up a bedtime routine that settles her down and gets her to sleep while on her own bed.  It is a gradual separation process that really can't be rushed.  I don't know how well it will work if you have a baby on the way.  Be prepared for regressive behavior.  She will see it as being displaced by the new baby.  The good news is she is four, old enough to let go a bit and be the big sister.  Maybe if you talk to her about how big she is and how grown up she is getting and how big girls get to sleep in their own beds while babies sleep with mommy, it might work.  Maybe getting her a doll to sleep with like she slept with you while she was a "baby" might help with the separation as well.



SheciaBaby
by on Dec. 15, 2012 at 9:12 PM
I tried that and no matter how long I stand there and rock her she jumps up


Quoting lnrmom:

Rock her to sleep, then gently lay her down and rub ber back til she falls back to sleep. Lullabies, soft jazz, or classical music playing quietly helps as well.

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GrammaJane46
by on Dec. 15, 2012 at 10:16 PM


Quoting cupcake7610:

I kinda had this issue with my son. I just made sure his bed was next to mine. I would also hold my hand over the edge of the playpen, just so he knew I was there. It will get better, just takes time. Try putting like something of yours that smells like you, in the playpen. Might help. Good luck!

That's a good start.  The fact is that you just have to be firm and consistent.  They will cry at first because it is a change, but they adapt quickly if you don't give in.  If you give in just one night, you have to start all over again. You might have better luck if you move him to another room, as well.  A baby monitor lets you keep an ear on him while he's not right beside you.

My granddaughter had a tough time giving up being rocked to sleep.  (No co-sleeping at this house), and mom just sat next to the bed and held hands with her until she drifted off.  Then mom moved out of reach and read a book (no talking and no eye contact) for a few days.  Then out of the room.  Yes, dgd cried herself to sleep a few nights, but it didn't last long.


Of course, I did know a mom with two boys, ages 4 & 5, who started the night with her husband; nursed the first boy to wake up and come to her, then left her bed to join the other boy, nurse him, and finish up the night.  Not my style, and I'm not recommending it; but it worked for them.

LilAsMom526
by on Dec. 15, 2012 at 10:26 PM
My birthday is in June! June 5th! When's your due date?


Quoting Pammi86:

How old is she? My dd is almost 18 months and we can not get her out of our bed either! She makes herself throw up and all! I have no idea what to try anymore but I have to figure it out bc we have baby #2 due in June!


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LilAsMom526
by on Dec. 15, 2012 at 10:30 PM
My son is 2.5 he likes sleeping with me sometimes I let him but even when I get him into his crib no matter what I do he fusses. I have to lay the law down another words walk away after I've tried everything and let him cry it out. Even tho it makes me SAd otherwise he knows how to work me! Cry until I give in. I'm standing my ground this time little boy! Haha
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Da998
by on Dec. 15, 2012 at 10:55 PM

Different things work for different children.  You should try and set a routine if you don't already have one something like last meal, bath, bedtime (or if the baby drinks milk still then the reverse, bath time, bottle and bedtime) at the same time every night.   At bed time put her in her bed and either lay or stand next to her.  Talk to her.  Let her know it is time for bed.  When she falls asleep leave.  If she cries, let her cry.  In the beginning it will be hard but after a few days she will understand and will do it less.  The most important part is you talking to her. Children need firmness, consistency and to feel safe. The routine helped me with my first, he slept all night and by himself at 2 months.  It did not work with my second child, I tried letting him cry but couldn't resist after 5 days.  I ended up holding his hand until he was 5!.  It did not work with my third, my daughter.  She was so physically and emotionally attached that it was hard and my husband had long hours and we both worked so letting her cry didn't seem like an option. She is now 9.  She just started sleeping alone in her room 3 months ago.  I know many people who have let their children cry  and succeeded.  If I had to do it all over again I would have let her cry and maybe if I had thought about it, I would have put her to bed early like 8 or 7:30pm allowing for it not to disturb my husbands sleep time (it was always 9pm).

KRIZZ25
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we try to make excuses for ower kids bad behavior. when its ower fault for letting it happen in first place.we need to show them how to behave. dont make excuses ..make solutions ..
Yesterday at 9:54 PM
by Member on Dec. 15, 2012 at 10:57 PM
u need to put her in her bed in her room wen she is awake..she will cry but she will be ok..just go in rub her back say night night baby ..dont pick he rub dont stay long time.. u have to brake her of that habit.
rayroe2
by on Dec. 15, 2012 at 10:58 PM

You just gotta let her know you mean business. Its going to be a little difficult since she got used to staying in the bed. Every Time she gets up you lay her down and its bedtime. then after the first few times. On the last time you lay her down again and let her know it is bedtime and let her put herself to sleep. So just walk out the room so you don't gotta hear the madness.

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