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Having only 1 child?

Posted by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 10:12 PM
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Ok so I'm 23 years old and had my son when I was 21. I planned not to have children but to adopt when I finished school and got married. My DH and mother told me to have a least one because its so different than adoption. Well my son was unplanned but he is my world. To this day I still can't believe I'm a mother. He is so well behaved, eats well and sleeps like an angel. Now of course my family is asking, "you ready for another?" "When the next baby?" And I want to tell them to mind their own business and that we don't plan on having another one for awhile. Due to me finishing school and me and DH are still trying to get our own house. But me and DH were talking and we seriously can not picture ourselves with another child. Is that selfish of us? I'm not going to lie I never wanted to get pregnant. I didn't want the belly, the extra weight, or to go through child birth, it just wasn't for me. But don't get me wrong!! I don't know where I'd be without my son!! Even my old sister says she can't see me with another child just because how miserable I was will pregnant. But I do still want to adopt. Mainly older children between 6-15. And even possible become foster parents. I just can't stand the one people judge me because I only want one child.
by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 10:12 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sleepymommy87
by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 10:15 PM
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I only want one. If we had the money dh would get snipped. We are perfectly happy with dd. I think it's selfish to have kids you can't care for financially and emotionally, which is my biggest reason for not wanting anymore.
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Dcn2010
by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 10:21 PM
I agree!! Or people that have a child to try to fix a relationship. I'm sorry but that does more damage than you leaving that relationship. I've always wanted a lot of kids, but not of my own. I know it sounds weird but it breaks my heart knowing there are perfect children out there who have been abandoned, taken away or just not loved. Yes I have the gift of bringing life into the world but why should I if there is life out there who don't have any parents?

Quoting sleepymommy87:

I only want one. If we had the money dh would get snipped. We are perfectly happy with dd. I think it's selfish to have kids you can't care for financially and emotionally, which is my biggest reason for not wanting anymore.

lilpsmommie2011
by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 10:25 PM
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It's not selfish of you to not want anymore biologic children. I didn't want kids and my dd was a very big surprise. Now I wouldn't change it for anything she is my whole world and I couldn't imagine my life without her. I doubt I will have more children because as of now I don't want more.
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signingmama2915
by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 10:28 PM
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If it's not for you it's not for you. I will make a suggestion though, as for foster children it would be wide to wait until your son is quite a bit older.
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splatz
by Sarah on Nov. 10, 2012 at 10:52 PM
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I don't think its selfish. Its whatever you think is best for you and your family. I think the whole wanting to know when you will have the next is a normal family response. Though its annoying lol.
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grneyedormom
by Member on Nov. 10, 2012 at 10:59 PM
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I only have kiddo...not by choice at the time, wanted one more. But after time and some reproductive issues, and financially, one is good.  I do feel guilty that my kiddo won't ever have siblings that she is close too (her sisters on her dad's side are much older.) And I would love to adopt but work for child welfare in my state and by law, employees can no longer foster or adopt. Conflict of Interest. And I certainly cannot afford to adopt through an agency, or internationally.

Bambootrees
by on Nov. 10, 2012 at 11:01 PM
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Its soo not selfish, i feel the same way about kids too. I am happy with just one
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shadow_lark
by Bronze Member on Nov. 10, 2012 at 11:01 PM
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No, it's not selfish. you do what is best for your family and don't worry about what other people think
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Janet
by Ruby Member on Nov. 11, 2012 at 12:57 PM
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 It's not one bit selfish. Everyone is different. They need to mind their own business.

MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Nov. 11, 2012 at 1:23 PM
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I only had one child and she is 24 now. After all these yrs I'm so glad that I stuck to what I wanted and not what others wanted.

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