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How involved is your husband/is he a good father?

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Hi everyone!

I would like to know from all you moms out there how good of a father your husband is to your children? How involved is he? How much time does he spend with them and what types of activities does he do with them? Also, does he work full-time and if he does, does he still spend most of his free time with the kids in the weekends? If you have a baby, is he natural at taking care of him/her? Does he do anything in the household or is that 'your task'? I know these are alot of questions but I really would love some answers. I'm in a situation where I feel like my husband just doesn't put in enough time and effort with our 3 yr old and our 10 month old twins. He lets me do everything, I have to ask for his help all the time and he doesn't naturally play with them or spend alot of time with them. He's disrespectful in ways of leaving clothes on the floor, doesn't put his shit away, never helps me with dishes and I'm just sick of it, tired. Like having a fourth child. I'm trying to put things in perspective and would love some input!

Thank you!

by on Nov. 13, 2012 at 8:34 PM
Replies (31-40):
baileymarie723
by Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 12:40 PM
1 mom liked this
My DH is my DD's stepdad. She is 10, so she likes to spend time in her room doing things but he does do things with her. For my birthday he took her shopping to get me a gift, and if he isn't working he will go to stuff her school has and he's been to all her dance recitals. I think for being her stepdad he does a pretty good job. My DD calls him dad because her "sperm donor" is a loser who only trys to see her when it's convenient for him like when she is at his sister's or mom's house and he ends up stopping by there. We are planning on looking into DH adopting DD because in our state since her biological dad hasn't tried on his own to see her in more than 2 years (it has acually been more like 8+ years since he has tried on his own to see her) it is considered abondonment and he loses all rights of saying anything. I believe it has been more than a year since he last "accidentally" seen her. She has decided on her own that she prefers not to see him anymore if she doesn't have to.
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Ashley0425
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 12:47 PM

My Husband Is Verry Involved And He Is A Great Father! Everyday After Work The First Thing He Does Is holds Him! He Is So good With him! I Couldnt Ask For A Greater Father For My Son!!

true-love-21
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:34 PM

Im sorry your husband is like that. My husband isnt my ds`s father biologically but he treats him like he`s his  own. He gets with him on the floor and plays etc. Mabe u should talk to him about it? 

RunningMommaof2
by Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:44 PM
My husband is amazing. He helps do everything. I'm a sahm and student and even when he worked 3 jobs... He still did a lot around the house including dinner, breakfast, dishes, baths, bedtime, laundry, plus all of the maintenance outside. He spends a lot of time with our kids and I trust him completely. But, his downfalls are that he is not a very protective man. If someone broke in during the night... I'm going to be the person to save us. He also does not show his wife affection like he should. He neglects me and it hurts our marriage... Which hurts our kids. No one is perfect though.

My husband was neglected as a child and does not know how to parent. He is trying his absolute hardest... But he takes my lead, which has caused him to act more like a mother than a father sometimes.
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joyfulmom03
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 1:46 PM

We've been married for almost 8 years and have had so many conversations about things. He gets better for a few days and then falls back in his old pattern. Sometimes I wonder if he just doesn't care to play with them or spend time. He hasn't read the twins a book once and they're 10 months old and love books. I think he's read a book to our 3 yr old maybe 3 times in his life. We go out as a family on the weekends and do something fun with the kids and hel'll be great with them. Either for show, or because he doesnt have his computer. but as soon as we get home it's all me again. It's just so hard to realize its this bad because when he talks about our kids he's so proud and he really loves them so much. But is it all words? And no action? To outsiders and our friends he seems such a great loving dad, and I really kids picture him being that way too but when it comes down to it, he's just not spending any time with them. But again, it's the disrespect I just can't take. Just letting me do it all by myself. And anyone who says about their husband, well, he does work full time. Yah, what are we doing as moms? I work 3 times full time. 

softballmom86
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:22 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm a SAHM of a 6 year old. My hubby works 60+ hours a week. When he gets home he's beyond exhausted but always makes time for our daughter, and any other child that is over.. last Thursday after 36 hr shift he comes home to do homework, play catch, take our daughter to the batting cages.. when I told him to get rest and to save it for another day he smiled and said " I can rest when I die, these are the moments I live for." He isn't ALWAYS home but when he is, he loves spending time with us.. helping in the kitchen, laundry or light picking up while prepare lunches for the next day. If your hubby seems to be acting a little selfish then I recommend a sit down. Put the kids to bed, grab a glass of wine or a beer and let out (in a productive way, not putting him down) all the frustrations and get his feedback. If he's not realizing what he's doing then give him pointers on how to help you. But, there could be an issue he's dealing with silently also, in that case.. let him know youre a team and you are here to help him too. I hope it all works out.. just remember, communication is KEY :)
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softballmom86
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 2:40 PM
1 mom liked this
Full time moms like us have the hardest jobs. No break, no lunch, no sick days or pay! Lol it is however the most rewarding. Sometimes our husbands can forget that although we don't contribute financially we SAVE or family tons of money, add the pay for a maid, cook, driver, tutor, babysitter and call girl for the hubby... see what i mean?My husbandand I will be married for just about 8 yrs also, 2 years ago we hit a rough patch, almost identical to your situation. It took a few months but after continuous talks and reminders it became easier but he would fall back into old habits. I bought a ticket to Las Vegas, left for 2 days, 1 school day and 1 Saturday of softball games. After that scare and smack in the face with the reality that things would crumble with out me, my husband hasn't taken me or family time for granted since :)
Tough love
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ginger.mom
by on Nov. 15, 2012 at 3:05 PM

I am one blessed momma. I have a husband who was working well over full time (laidoff this weekend) He would come home from a long day and the first thing he would do was pick up our 2 yo DS. While I would finish up making dinner my guys will run around and play and my DH gives our son lots of love and attention. I am currently 7 months preg with our first girl and my DH is just as attentive with me and the baby belly as he with our son. If he see's I am having a hard time moving around or trying to get the rest of my list done, he jumps up and offers help. With out asking he checks the laundry machines before he comes in the house. I did not come from a family with a dad like this, my dad would come home and ignor us and if we made to much noise would yell. I hope things turn around for you.

Megan11587
by Member on Nov. 15, 2012 at 3:25 PM

 My husband works 40 hours a week and goes to school at night 4 days a week.  During the week, its mainly me.  On the weekends, or school breaks, though, he is excellent!  He spends all of his free time with me and my son.  It's been months since he's gone out with his friends.

Shelly126
by Michele on Nov. 15, 2012 at 3:44 PM
My DH works a lot, he is a CPA and CFP and commutes from our suburb to manhattan every day. That being said I don't expect him to do much around the house, not because he doesn't want to, he just doesn't have the time to do certain things. He does what he can, when he can, he takes out the garbage, changes the kitty litter, takes care of car maintenance, does some laundry and goes grocery shopping with me on the weekends. We have a cleaning woman that comes weekly so even though he can't pitch in with the everyday, he knows how important it is for me to have some helping hands.
He is a great father too, when he isn't working he is here with us and enjoying the boys as much as he can. He runs with them and is always on the floor playing with them. He loves taking us to lunch on Saturday afternoons and then the park. He also loves taking them shopping! They are very lucky to have such a dedicated father, everything he does is for them!
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