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stuck in a sticky situation

Posted by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:28 PM
  • 2 Replies
Im not even sure where to start but i figured this would be a good place here it goes.....my cousin moved to ny from tx ( i live in ny) about a year ago her husband is in the military she has 2 girls 2 and 9. When she 1st moved here she lived an hour away it was ok she came down on the weekends and during the week she was home gave me time for me I also have a 6 year old son i live with my parents brother. 6 months or so ago she moved about 5 min away ughh thats when it started she goes tp school and pays me 100$ A week to watch her 2 yr old everyday all day but then when she gets home from school she dont go home she stays till about 7 or 8 every night when she gets there she sits on the computer while her 2 year old trashes my house ( i use to constantly be on the baby picking stuff up cleaning stuff up) not anymore but she dont pick up after her no matter hpw many times i say something and im still stuck cleaning it up and when she wants to go somewhere she sticks me or her brother with her kids but when i go someplace she gets mad because i dont invite her but im to the point where i dont even want to be around her and to some aspect i am jealous she has money to.do w.e she wants and i dont she has a lot of things i dont but what upsets me is she can live and do what she wants but i never have a baby sitter or the money to do whatvi want i am very thankful for what i do have i just feel like im being used and if i say something it turns into an argument any advice would be appreciated thanks for listening to me vent :)
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by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:28 PM
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Replies (1-2):
RainieDaze
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:38 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell her how it is. If her husband is in the military, there is a daycare on post. I know this because my husband is going back into the military and our son is due 12-12-12. Tell her she needs to stop taking advantage of you and take her child to the base daycare, or find another daycare provider. Make sure to mention that you still love her, you love her children, but you can't be constantly used by her for her own needs. She needs to step up and be a mom, when she IS at your house she needs to respect your house and watch her own child. It's only polite. Don't let her walk all over you!

Knightquester
by on Nov. 21, 2012 at 7:49 PM

I would let her know that although you love her daughter you have found that you need more personal time with your own family so you're unable to watch her anymore.

I would distance yourself from her as much as possible too.  Make yourself busy and if she tries to "pop by" toss the shoes one and be on your way out, or grab the phone and call a close friend before opening the door and let her know you're busy and can't have visitors.  Let her know when you do talk to her that she needs to call before coming over, that you enjoy spending time with her and her family but that your kids are getting older and you're just enjoying the moments with them before they're gone.

You're always going to meet those people, if not be related to them, that have more than you but have to work very little for it.  It's easier to resent them for their luck in life, but instead I would try to find some peace with it.  You can't do that until you stop feeling used which right now you do sound like you're being used so taking the babysitting out of the equation will make you a happier person with your cousin.

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