My ex has not contacted me about my son in 4 months now. This is the longest he has gone without contacting, even then it is just a text asking how he is. He is in the Army and has a new gf that he started dating in June. He came home and visited him in July and I haven't heard from him since. On his FB and hers, I see they drink ALOT. He usually comes home at Christmas, but I don't know if he will this year. He never legitimated my son or got visitation. There is no CO'ed CS either although it comes out if his check automatically because his officer found out he wasn't paying and he didn't want to hear him gripe at him so he set it up. He didn't want me to go to CS place either so he started giving me money. If he does come home, I don't even know if he should get my son. He is almost 6 and never asks about him. He knows he is his father, but he sees my DH, who has been there since he was 9 months old, as his daddy. WWYD in this situation? I do not trust my ex or his gf. I think they party all the time and ex is just unreliable. He threatens to take me to court once every year because I won't send him 4 states away to visit him. He hasn't so far.
**Edit: I think I have made a decision. When or IF he calls/texts, he will get 2 options. This is to protect my son and my rights without going to court for now. Option 1: Come to my house and see him. I will fix up downstairs so they can sit and be with him without us hovering over them. Option 2: Pay a lady that does supervised visitation. I have already talked to her and she seems really nice. She doesn't charge much, $10 a hour. This next part I haven't decided on yet. I thought about giving him until the 18th to contact me or he wont have these options. That is 1 week before Christmas. I think I should set some kind of boundary or whatever or he will think he can wait until the 23rd to call and say, "Hey Im home. When am I getting him?" Does all of this (my edit) sound reasonable? I know some said go to court, but even if I filed right now...I wont get a court date until after the new year. So were going as what is, for now anyways.