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WWYD? **EDIT**

Posted by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 5:08 PM
  • 29 Replies

My ex has not contacted me about my son in 4 months now. This is the longest he has gone without contacting, even then it is just a text asking how he is. He is in the Army and has a new gf that he started dating in June. He came home and visited him in July and I haven't heard from him since. On his FB and hers, I see they drink ALOT. He usually comes home at Christmas, but I don't know if he will this year. He never legitimated my son or got visitation. There is no CO'ed CS either although it comes out if his check automatically because his officer found out he wasn't paying and he didn't want to hear him gripe at him so he set it up. He didn't want me to go to CS place either so he started giving me money. If he does come home, I don't even know if he should get my son. He is almost 6 and never asks about him. He knows he is his father, but he sees my DH, who has been there since he was 9 months old, as his daddy. WWYD in this situation? I do not trust my ex or his gf. I think they party all the time and ex is just unreliable. He threatens to take me to court once every year because I won't send him 4 states away to visit him. He hasn't so far.

**Edit: I think I have made a decision. When or IF he calls/texts, he will get 2 options. This is to protect my son and my rights without going to court for now. Option 1: Come to my house and see him. I will fix up downstairs so they can sit and be with him without us hovering over them. Option 2: Pay a lady that does supervised visitation. I have already talked to her and she seems really nice. She doesn't charge much, $10 a hour. This next part I haven't decided on yet. I thought about giving him until the 18th to contact me or he wont have these options. That is 1 week before Christmas. I think I should set some kind of boundary or whatever or he will think he can wait until the 23rd to call and say, "Hey Im home. When am I getting him?" Does all of this (my edit) sound reasonable? I know some said go to court, but even if I filed right now...I wont get a court date until after the new year. So were going as what is, for now anyways.

by on Nov. 27, 2012 at 5:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
goddess99
by Michelle on Nov. 27, 2012 at 9:36 PM
2 moms liked this

I would go to the courts and get everything set up legally. If not, he could take your son for a visit and never legally have to return him.

Janet
by Ruby Member on Nov. 28, 2012 at 11:21 AM

 Were you married to him or is he an ex boyfriend. In Ohio if you aren't married you have no legal right even if you pay child support or sign the birth certificate.

 

ANR1390
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 12:54 PM
Never married


Quoting Janet:

 Were you married to him or is he an ex boyfriend. In Ohio if you aren't married you have no legal right even if you pay child support or sign the birth certificate.


 


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DixieFlower
by on Nov. 28, 2012 at 10:24 PM

I agree with going ahead and going to court and getting everything laid out.

Janet
by Ruby Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 8:09 AM

I don't think that he can just take him legally then. You can call and check on that. But You can have supervised visitation by someone if you don't feel comfortable with him around your son. I hate for you to keep him from him altogether though.

Quoting ANR1390:

Never married


Quoting Janet:

 Were you married to him or is he an ex boyfriend. In Ohio if you aren't married you have no legal right even if you pay child support or sign the birth certificate.


 


 

ANR1390
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 9:31 AM
If he even decides to come home or call, I will probably offer him an option of coming to our house around Christmas and spending time with him or something like that where we are close by so he cannot try anything funny.


Quoting Janet:

I don't think that he can just take him legally then. You can call and check on that. But You can have supervised visitation by someone if you don't feel comfortable with him around your son. I hate for you to keep him from him altogether though.


Quoting ANR1390:

Never married



Quoting Janet:


 Were you married to him or is he an ex boyfriend. In Ohio if you aren't married you have no legal right even if you pay child support or sign the birth certificate.



 



 


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MWV85
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 9:33 AM

 if you dont trust them, thats one thing.

but you cant take your ex's rights away because you dont agree with the lack of communication between you, your son and your ex.

**but i do think that you need to go to court to settle everything.

ANR1390
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 9:43 AM
Seeing how he doesn't have rights, visitation is up to me. And unless he takes me to court, it will remain that way. When I get a job and get some money saved back, I am going to talk to a lawyer to see what I need to do about everything. And I will probably allow him to see him just not take him. That way, he cannot take off with him.


Quoting MWV85:

 if you dont trust them, thats one thing.


but you cant take your ex's rights away because you dont agree with the lack of communication between you, your son and your ex.


**but i do think that you need to go to court to settle everything.


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kirbymom
by Bronze Member on Nov. 29, 2012 at 1:01 PM

Is he listed as your son's father on the birth certificate?  Right now, you should see whether or not this man hasany legal rights to your son in any way. Also, you should document any and all contact with your ex on any issues regarding anything. 

Quoting ANR1390:

Never married


Quoting Janet:

 Were you married to him or is he an ex boyfriend. In Ohio if you aren't married you have no legal right even if you pay child support or sign the birth certificate.


 



ANR1390
by on Nov. 29, 2012 at 2:53 PM
He is on the BC, but I spoke with an attorney before and she said that he has no rights except he has to be notified about any adoptions or name changes. Other than that, he has zero.


Quoting kirbymom:

Is he listed as your son's father on the birth certificate?  Right now, you should see whether or not this man hasany legal rights to your son in any way. Also, you should document any and all contact with your ex on any issues regarding anything. 

Quoting ANR1390:

Never married





Quoting Janet:

 Were you married to him or is he an ex boyfriend. In Ohio if you aren't married you have no legal right even if you pay child support or sign the birth certificate.



 





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