Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

i think i didnt get my kids enough xmas presents. i feel so gulity

Posted by   + Show Post

 hi my name is kayla i am a 24 yr old momma with 2boys and a 3rd on the way.  we are a very low income family. i try my best to get my boys what they want for xmas. when i was little i remember under the xmas tree was filled with xmas presents 4 me b4 my sisters were born so i feel i owe my boys the same treatment because even when my sisters were born we still had alot of presents each (may have been alot to me then) but i just feel that my boys deserve the same treatment and my momma and us was a low income family to but my momma always found away to get us alot of things for xmas and i want the same for my boys but somehow i cant seem to aford alot for them. i always get so much guilt built up its unreal and i know they are only 3yrs and 1yr old and dont understand  that well and is happy with anything they get but its the thought that will always b in the back of my head. maybe there is away to manage my money better??

by on Dec. 17, 2012 at 12:04 PM
Replies (11-20):
by on Dec. 17, 2012 at 10:23 PM

Please don't feel guilty. I have been where you are. I told myself that my 4 kids had my greatest gift-my love. Throughout the year whenever I could I'd get surprises for them. Don't measure yourself by someone else, even your mom! Now, my grown childen have great memories of fun family time. Christmas is a celebration of Jesus' birth and highly commercialized.

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 12:54 PM

dont feel guilty. i agree with eoewan start a savings account and put money in there starting in january and just keep on with every pay check. im actually going to do that this year bcuz my husbands hours always get cut around the holidays and its like omg we have no money!! its crazy. we dont make a lot of money either so i know how you feel. and to  be honest watch them and ask them what they want and do your best. they will be happy. i even buy tooth brushes and stuff from like good will and thrift shops. i dont care if its used... they will still be happy!

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 1:36 PM

How much is a lot to you? We got each of our oldest three about twelve presents not including their "Santa" present.  With our 1 year old I think she's getting six presents, but they're simple things and useful things (fragrance free lotion, silverware set, a pair of boots, and a couple toys.

Something I used to do, but didn't do this year was I bought a couple of those plastic tote boxes and once a month I'd buy something for each of my girls and store it in the totes until Christmas time. I only bought them ten things a piece then I'd use the money I budgeted for each month (about $10-$20 a child so $60 a month for me) and save that up in November and December and then I'd get them a more lavish present from Santa.

Your 3 and 1 year old won't know the difference this year, but perhaps the tote thing could work for you next year. I didn't get them a toy every month, sometimes it would be a cute outfit (great sales on winter clothing in March) or a children's manicure set for my oldest. And if I didn't spend the full $60 in a particular month I would set that aside for the lavish Santa present. Keep it in an envelope marked "SANTA" hidden in your highest dresser drawer. This system worked really well for me and even though I still wished I could give my children more I knew they had enough. Especially since some kids don't have anything.

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 1:38 PM

Don't feel guilty, you have done just fine, especially because of their you have a dollar store near by? 

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 1:39 PM
Maybe you should focus on what christmas is actually about instead of a bunch of crap the kids could care less about.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Member on Dec. 18, 2012 at 1:43 PM

If you shop thru out the year for Christmas gifts when they are on sale you can buy a little bit at a time.

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 1:45 PM

If your children have one single present to open, they're luckier than a lot of other kids. Be happy with what you have because you could have nothing.

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 1:56 PM

This year I got the kids a few "bigger" things they wanted (eagle talon castle, easy bake oven) then fluffed up the amount of gifts with stuff from the dollar tree - coloring books, crayons, craft stuff, cars, etc...  Its a very inexpensive way to fluff things up.  

I would have loved to have more children, but we stopped at 2 because we knew we just couldn't afford any more.  If our financial state improves before I hit 38, we may have another one.  If not - then its just 2 kids for us.  

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:23 PM

Personally, I think getting kids a lot of presents sets them up for future disapointment, or instills a sense of entitlement.  The season is supposed to be about gratitude and giving, not how much loot one can rake in.  The one year old doesn't even know what Christmas is, and the 3 year old is just the right age to start teaching him about giving and sharing...  My kids are 4 and 5, and this year is the leanest we have ever had.  We are doing okay, but we don't have a ton of money to spend.  My spouse and I are "giving" each other family games that we can all play, and the kids are getting two presents each.  Something to open, a colorful tree, and they have been singing Christmas carols all over the house.  Sure, my son WANTS everything he sees, but we have explianed that times are tight right now, and he needs to think about what does he REALLY want most of all, because Santa can't bring him everything...

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 2:38 PM

I remember feeling that way.  There is a book I want to recommend to you, easy read and it will help you SO much.  It did me. I reread the chapter on Christmas every year when I get those feelings.  My mom always did too much at Christmas, she did it w/ credit cards.  She and my Dad are paying the price for that now. 

Living Simply with Children: A Voluntary Simplicity Guide for Moms, Dads, and Kids Who Want to Reclaim the Bliss of Childhood and the Joy of Parenting by Marie Sherlock  Product Details

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)