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A call from the principle about my 5 yr old!!

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I didn't know how to approach my 5 and 7 year old about what had happened at sandy hook but i wanted to tell them of course but away you would explain it to a kindergartner and a 1st grader. softly i told them that a very bad man had went into a school with guns and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers. Everyone was constantly talking about how to tell your children but now i wish i just kept it all hidden from them and i feel like this is now all my fault.

the principle called me yesterday and to find out what my 5 yr old said. he was sitting at a table with two girls and out of no where told them he was going to kick there butt and bring a gun to school tomorrow!!!!! and then the tears fell.. how could my child say that, these poor children probably now fearing the worst. Principle basically told him that its unacceptable, not to happen ever again and that there will be consequences. he was truly sorry and cried. i didn't know how to handle this but to just cry. i was in shock.

me and his father has to sit down with him and talk. had to set some major rules and also consequences for his behavior. i just cant believe that was my child.


updated:

first of all i explained to my kids what happened because they heard about it at school and on the news and asked me and i was not going to lie to them.

also the school had pulled drills with the kids all this week with the new safety procedures so before this situation it was discussed with the children what had happened, so not sure now where it came from.

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:12 AM
Replies (51-60):
Armymom134
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:08 AM

 I never told my oldest who is in kindergarte what happened, she seen the news reports but she never asked, and I didn't find it necessary to tell her.

StoneColdKiller
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:20 AM

 is your child in school? I know Monday morning over the loud speakers they spoke about the shooting and the children dead, not so bluntly as that but went into a speech about it and that if anyone of the kids had questions to ask their teachers and if they feel to overwhelmed to come to the office and talk about it with the school therapist. I was very shocked this was done, as I assume their were kids that werent told but I was told this was a public school and they need to know what happened, we are talking about preschool to 5th grade heard this speech.

Quoting notjstanothrmom:

Yeah... definitely wouldn't have told them. Way too young. My son is 5 and has NO clue about the shootings.

 

zetajen
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:25 AM

as others have said, he doesn't fully understand the situation and does not fully understand what he said. So I think it is the schools and your responsibility to show him the severity of what he said. if the school isn't suspending him, I would ask them to. He needs to have a sever punishment for this so that he understands how sever his statement was.

The only way to get to him IMO about how big of a deal this is, is a major punishment that fits the crime. Say his intention was only to scare or get a reaction from these kids. His intention does not matter. his actions matter.

notjstanothrmom
by Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:26 AM

Yes and they are not talking with elementary school students about it. There are extra staff on hand to talk with children who know and need to talk but they are not acknowledging it at all to the general student population.

I called and spoke with the school psychologist.

Quoting StoneColdKiller:

 is your child in school? I know Monday morning over the loud speakers they spoke about the shooting and the children dead, not so bluntly as that but went into a speech about it and that if anyone of the kids had questions to ask their teachers and if they feel to overwhelmed to come to the office and talk about it with the school therapist. I was very shocked this was done, as I assume their were kids that werent told but I was told this was a public school and they need to know what happened, we are talking about preschool to 5th grade heard this speech.

Quoting notjstanothrmom:

Yeah... definitely wouldn't have told them. Way too young. My son is 5 and has NO clue about the shootings.

 


Queen_Sheila
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:50 AM

Don't let anyone make you feel bad about talking to your kids about what happened, you did the right thing by not lying to them when they asked you, trust between a parent and child is one of the most important things and they know that they can go to you when they have questions and you will tell them the truth.

I think maybe he said that to those girls because they had made him mad or picked on him before and he was just trying to scare them, it's good that he feels bad about what he did and that you're going to discipline him for him. Did you tell them that the man who did it is dead and that was the consequence he faced for doing something so evil? I know he took his own life, but he would still be dead even if he hadn't, the police would have shot him.

kirstina
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:54 AM

 I hope you also toke the BB gun from him. I dont understand why so many people think its okay to let kids play with BB guns.

Quoting fairy_fan:

I had a similar experience.  DH had just bought a new shotgun and also bought YS a BB gun.  A few weeks later YS threatened a girl at school he was going to get his BB gun and shoot her.  She told him it wouldn't hurt so he said he would get his dads shotgun and shoot her in the arm...that would hurt he told her.  The girl reported him and the principal had a long talk with him, of course called me to tell me what happened, and he got an even longer talking to at home with a firm reminder to his butt to remember what they had talked about concerning gun safety.  Haven't had a problem since.

 

kirstina
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 12:01 PM

 I talked with my 5 year old who is homeschooled. He was watching the News with me and asked questions. Its better for parents to talk with their Children about then leave it for the school to talk about or their friends.

Quoting notjstanothrmom:

Yes and they are not talking with elementary school students about it. There are extra staff on hand to talk with children who know and need to talk but they are not acknowledging it at all to the general student population.

I called and spoke with the school psychologist.

Quoting StoneColdKiller:

 is your child in school? I know Monday morning over the loud speakers they spoke about the shooting and the children dead, not so bluntly as that but went into a speech about it and that if anyone of the kids had questions to ask their teachers and if they feel to overwhelmed to come to the office and talk about it with the school therapist. I was very shocked this was done, as I assume their were kids that werent told but I was told this was a public school and they need to know what happened, we are talking about preschool to 5th grade heard this speech.

Quoting notjstanothrmom:

Yeah... definitely wouldn't have told them. Way too young. My son is 5 and has NO clue about the shootings.

 


 

fairy_fan
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 12:02 PM

For a short while, but he eventually got it back.  He is now 10 and we have not had any problems since he was 5.

Quoting kirstina:

 I hope you also toke the BB gun from him. I dont understand why so many people think its okay to let kids play with BB guns.

Quoting fairy_fan:

I had a similar experience.  DH had just bought a new shotgun and also bought YS a BB gun.  A few weeks later YS threatened a girl at school he was going to get his BB gun and shoot her.  She told him it wouldn't hurt so he said he would get his dads shotgun and shoot her in the arm...that would hurt he told her.  The girl reported him and the principal had a long talk with him, of course called me to tell me what happened, and he got an even longer talking to at home with a firm reminder to his butt to remember what they had talked about concerning gun safety.  Haven't had a problem since.

 


Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.  ~Mark Twain

womanwifemomof3
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 12:16 PM

kids act out in play what is on their minds in order to help them process it, perfectly normal at 5yr. to say that but sounds like you guys let him know its not okay and from the reaction I doubt he'll do it again but if I was you I wouldn't freak out about it.  Your child sounds perfectly innocent.

maryah84
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 1:20 PM

Nothing In your previous post that I quoted you on mentioned that she was not scared all you said that she knows. but even if she is not scared from this bad event, there are tons of other things she can see in the news that can scare her or anybody else especially international news with all the problems and stuff that is going on now. and yes people do what ever it take to protect there kids from anything that could harm there feeling or harm them by anyway. At least that's my opinion. Ohh and there is other stuff in the Tv beside Disney jr and news to watch.

Quoting StrawberryCool:

What part of

SHES NOT SCARED

Did you miss?

So im to just sit and watch Disney Jr all day? Because my dd isnt in school. Shes home all day long.

So no I will not change the news cuz Shes home.


Quoting maryah84:

The news is full of horrifying stuff some are very bloody sometime so u just decide to tell everything to a poor 4 years old girl and scare her, just because you can't stop watching the news while your kid is a home. WOW
I am sorry but I find that very irresponsible.


Quoting StrawberryCool:

My daughter is four and knows.



Im not going to stop watching the news cuz Shes home.









Quoting Bonita131:

Why would you even tell your 5 yr old a man went in a school and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers? Jesus christ, he's 5, his mind is not ready to hear that kind of shit. All you've done is plant an idea in his head, an idea to him that is more make believe, than it is real.



Never mind you and his father sitting down with him to talk about what "he's" done, you need to apologize to your 5 yr old about how "you" were the reason he got into trouble at school in the first place  then continue your talk.  



Unbelievable.. If you didn't know how to approach your kids about what happened, which is obvious you did not, you should have asked the principal or teachers at the school for advice.






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