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A call from the principle about my 5 yr old!!

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I didn't know how to approach my 5 and 7 year old about what had happened at sandy hook but i wanted to tell them of course but away you would explain it to a kindergartner and a 1st grader. softly i told them that a very bad man had went into a school with guns and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers. Everyone was constantly talking about how to tell your children but now i wish i just kept it all hidden from them and i feel like this is now all my fault.

the principle called me yesterday and to find out what my 5 yr old said. he was sitting at a table with two girls and out of no where told them he was going to kick there butt and bring a gun to school tomorrow!!!!! and then the tears fell.. how could my child say that, these poor children probably now fearing the worst. Principle basically told him that its unacceptable, not to happen ever again and that there will be consequences. he was truly sorry and cried. i didn't know how to handle this but to just cry. i was in shock.

me and his father has to sit down with him and talk. had to set some major rules and also consequences for his behavior. i just cant believe that was my child.


updated:

first of all i explained to my kids what happened because they heard about it at school and on the news and asked me and i was not going to lie to them.

also the school had pulled drills with the kids all this week with the new safety procedures so before this situation it was discussed with the children what had happened, so not sure now where it came from.

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:12 AM
Replies (61-70):
sonofsandy
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 1:50 PM

"principal" not "principle"

StrawberryCool
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 2:02 PM

yes there are other things on the tv besides the news and disneyjr. 

but those tv shows consist of 

jerry springer

maury

other randon drama filled talk shows

and nick jr. 

and regular disney....

so if i want to watch the news and tell her to go play that's MY BUSINESS.

Quoting maryah84:

Nothing In your previous post that I quoted you on mentioned that she was not scared all you said that she knows. but even if she is not scared from this bad event, there are tons of other things she can see in the news that can scare her or anybody else especially international news with all the problems and stuff that is going on now. and yes people do what ever it take to protect there kids from anything that could harm there feeling or harm them by anyway. At least that's my opinion. Ohh and there is other stuff in the Tv beside Disney jr and news to watch.

Quoting StrawberryCool:

What part of

SHES NOT SCARED

Did you miss?

So im to just sit and watch Disney Jr all day? Because my dd isnt in school. Shes home all day long.

So no I will not change the news cuz Shes home.


Quoting maryah84:

The news is full of horrifying stuff some are very bloody sometime so u just decide to tell everything to a poor 4 years old girl and scare her, just because you can't stop watching the news while your kid is a home. WOW
I am sorry but I find that very irresponsible.


Quoting StrawberryCool:

My daughter is four and knows.



Im not going to stop watching the news cuz Shes home.









Quoting Bonita131:

Why would you even tell your 5 yr old a man went in a school and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers? Jesus christ, he's 5, his mind is not ready to hear that kind of shit. All you've done is plant an idea in his head, an idea to him that is more make believe, than it is real.



Never mind you and his father sitting down with him to talk about what "he's" done, you need to apologize to your 5 yr old about how "you" were the reason he got into trouble at school in the first place  then continue your talk.  



Unbelievable.. If you didn't know how to approach your kids about what happened, which is obvious you did not, you should have asked the principal or teachers at the school for advice.







jack90
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 2:04 PM

i think maybe he is to young for that information and most likely could not handle that worry or stress.

AngeLnChainZ
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 2:05 PM

It's good you had a talk with him but you need to keep letting him know it is NEVER okay to threaten someone, especially in such a manner. You're lucky, around here he would have been taken out of the school by a cop, and probably in handcuffs. They don't care how young or old the child is, they have zero tolerance!

I volunteer to save lives; What do you do?

MentorMom1
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 3:23 PM

Yes, I am sure you are devastated by your child's words. I was devastated when my six-year old came home and told me the boy next to her told her he has sex with girls and his parents know about it!! (Shock!!)

Here's a good way for parents to correct inappropriate behavior toward another child. Believe me, it works: Gather the ingredients to make a batch of yummy cookies. Make sure the other child or children can eat them and don't have allergies to any of the ingredients. Have your child then help you make the cookies, and make clear to him that this is for the children he hurt with his words - not for him. He may not even lick his fingers, because the cookies are for someone else. He may not even eat a single cookie, or cookie crumb. And then, with your help, (you may have to make arrangements) he delivers these cookies in a box or on a covered plate to the other child. He will never forget this. It will make him more aware of what it means to make restitution because it's a concrete activity that kids can understand. He will have to sacrifice, not eating any of the cookies himself. If he eats even one, it isn't the same punishment. You will need to remind him of that stipulation. And ask him why he can't have any. Parent involvement throughout is imperative. No preaching. Just making restitution in a humble way.

OliviasMommy611
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 3:32 PM
Agree

Quoting jack90:

i think maybe he is to young for that information and most likely could not handle that worry or stress.

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maryah84
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 3:48 PM

Whatever you say, I guess there is lots of messed up kids outside cause there parents is irresponsible. So yeah it's your bussnies. I'm done talking to you here. I was just stating my opinion, i don't care what you do in your life.

Quoting StrawberryCool:

yes there are other things on the tv besides the news and disneyjr. 

but those tv shows consist of 

jerry springer

maury

other randon drama filled talk shows

and nick jr. 

and regular disney....

so if i want to watch the news and tell her to go play that's MY BUSINESS.

Quoting maryah84:

Nothing In your previous post that I quoted you on mentioned that she was not scared all you said that she knows. but even if she is not scared from this bad event, there are tons of other things she can see in the news that can scare her or anybody else especially international news with all the problems and stuff that is going on now. and yes people do what ever it take to protect there kids from anything that could harm there feeling or harm them by anyway. At least that's my opinion. Ohh and there is other stuff in the Tv beside Disney jr and news to watch.

Quoting StrawberryCool:

What part of

SHES NOT SCARED

Did you miss?

So im to just sit and watch Disney Jr all day? Because my dd isnt in school. Shes home all day long.

So no I will not change the news cuz Shes home.


Quoting maryah84:

The news is full of horrifying stuff some are very bloody sometime so u just decide to tell everything to a poor 4 years old girl and scare her, just because you can't stop watching the news while your kid is a home. WOW
I am sorry but I find that very irresponsible.


Quoting StrawberryCool:

My daughter is four and knows.



Im not going to stop watching the news cuz Shes home.









Quoting Bonita131:

Why would you even tell your 5 yr old a man went in a school and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers? Jesus christ, he's 5, his mind is not ready to hear that kind of shit. All you've done is plant an idea in his head, an idea to him that is more make believe, than it is real.



Never mind you and his father sitting down with him to talk about what "he's" done, you need to apologize to your 5 yr old about how "you" were the reason he got into trouble at school in the first place  then continue your talk.  



Unbelievable.. If you didn't know how to approach your kids about what happened, which is obvious you did not, you should have asked the principal or teachers at the school for advice.








mamalusbear
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 3:51 PM

He's only five, and bound to say some things that he doesn't mean or fully understand.  I wouldn't think too much of it.

Bethsunshine
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 3:52 PM


Quoting RainieDaze:

Don't beat yourself up too badly. He is only 5 yrs old and I'm sure he didn't understand fully what he was saying, or what you had told him. He knew that what you told him about was bad and scared people, so in an attempt to scare other kids he said what he said. As he gets older he will slowly begin to understand what truly happened and I'm sure he will be grateful you told him about it. Like I said though, don't beat yourself up about it, kids will be kids. The fact that he cried and regreted saying it is a good sign that he is all good :) Hang in there momma, he'll grow up quicker than you know.

My nephew who was 7 yrs old wrote a note to another boy in class saying he was going to kick his butt and shoot him in the face (this was over a year ago) this year he is 8 yrs old and before the Sandy Hook incident he wrote another note to the same boy apologizing for what he had said the previous year. Kids grow up and learn that what they say can be very hurtful. Doesn't mean they're psychopaths...they just don't understand death yet.

Exactly this!! He doesn't fully understand what he said.

LoveOfWisdom
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 3:56 PM
1 mom liked this
You could just turn the tv off. I do watch the evening news, but when my kids start paying attention, it will get turned off. Ill either record it for later or get my news online.

Quoting StrawberryCool:

What part of



SHES NOT SCARED



Did you miss?



So im to just sit and watch Disney Jr all day? Because my dd isnt in school. Shes home all day long.



So no I will not change the news cuz Shes home.




Quoting maryah84:

The news is full of horrifying stuff some are very bloody sometime so u just decide to tell everything to a poor 4 years old girl and scare her, just because you can't stop watching the news while your kid is a home. WOW
I am sorry but I find that very irresponsible.



Quoting StrawberryCool:

My daughter is four and knows.





Im not going to stop watching the news cuz Shes home.














Quoting Bonita131:

Why would you even tell your 5 yr old a man went in a school and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers? Jesus christ, he's 5, his mind is not ready to hear that kind of shit. All you've done is plant an idea in his head, an idea to him that is more make believe, than it is real.




Never mind you and his father sitting down with him to talk about what "he's" done, you need to apologize to your 5 yr old about how "you" were the reason he got into trouble at school in the first place  then continue your talk.  




Unbelievable.. If you didn't know how to approach your kids about what happened, which is obvious you did not, you should have asked the principal or teachers at the school for advice.






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