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A call from the principle about my 5 yr old!!

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I didn't know how to approach my 5 and 7 year old about what had happened at sandy hook but i wanted to tell them of course but away you would explain it to a kindergartner and a 1st grader. softly i told them that a very bad man had went into a school with guns and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers. Everyone was constantly talking about how to tell your children but now i wish i just kept it all hidden from them and i feel like this is now all my fault.

the principle called me yesterday and to find out what my 5 yr old said. he was sitting at a table with two girls and out of no where told them he was going to kick there butt and bring a gun to school tomorrow!!!!! and then the tears fell.. how could my child say that, these poor children probably now fearing the worst. Principle basically told him that its unacceptable, not to happen ever again and that there will be consequences. he was truly sorry and cried. i didn't know how to handle this but to just cry. i was in shock.

me and his father has to sit down with him and talk. had to set some major rules and also consequences for his behavior. i just cant believe that was my child.


updated:

first of all i explained to my kids what happened because they heard about it at school and on the news and asked me and i was not going to lie to them.

also the school had pulled drills with the kids all this week with the new safety procedures so before this situation it was discussed with the children what had happened, so not sure now where it came from.

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:12 AM
Replies (81-90):
MusherMaggie
by Bronze Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 7:39 PM
I would say he was reacting as much to the drills and what he heard at school as much as he was to what you told him. Please don't beat yourself up about this. The principal could have handled things a bit differently as well, IMHO.
bellygirl
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 7:40 PM
I'll bet this happened to many parents. I certainly felt some explanation was needed for my 3rd grader, as I expected it to be talked at school; by staff and/or students. I have others not yet in school. I'm sure you felt terrible and embarrassed, but felt even worse for your little one, who didn't mean any harm. What happened at that school was one if the worst crimes and we are all tramstized in some way. I'm sorry for what happened, I would have talked to my kids if they were 5 and 7 as well.
greenmachine47
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 7:45 PM

My friend's son is 11 now but I don't think he has any memory saying it but around 5 kindergarten he told a teacher he was going to get his momn's gun and shooth them all. My friend was livid since she don't even own a gun. Your not alone so don't get to down on yourself. I agree kids say what they hear and don't even understand what they are saying.. My 4 yr old daughter just started preschool this year and started recently telling me "I so hate you". She had picked it up from my nephew (her cousin) since she had never said it before. 

hurricane37
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 7:46 PM
I just told my kids that someone went into a school and shot a bunch of people. They knew it was bad. I have not hidden the reality of death from my kids and I don't think anyone should. Children need to know that death is a reality and that anyone can die. They can handle that pretty well.
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SumthingSublime
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 8:05 PM

Kids say the darndest things don't they. I am a new mom, but my fiance has 2 kids already and one of them just turned 6yrs old. The things that come out of his mouth sometimes just amazes me. He tells me he hears them from day care, so yeah don't blame yourself... Kid's brains are sponges and they soak up everything they hear. If they were already hearing about it then it was probably a good thing that you some what explained it further, but if they would've never heard anything about it then I wouldn't have said anything about it. It is too much and too hard for them to understand at that age.

120177
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 8:07 PM

 I would be calling the school back and ask some questions first????  And then ask why are you calling me when you started to talk about it with all the kids in the first place???

Ballad
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 8:16 PM

It wasn't your fault anyway.  Kids have to figure out how to react to awful things they shouldn't even be forced to think about.  He shouldn't have said that, but he didn't know what he meant.  He probably didn't realize what he was saying.

Janet
by Ruby Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 8:26 PM


Quoting goddess99:

I agree that children repeat what they hear.

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CalicoMeezer
by Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 8:45 PM
I told my daughter a little (a man got very angry and wasn't thinking right and killed some kids). Dd is very perceptive, and more than a bit nosy, so I knew she'd overhear it, and I wanted her to hear it from me first, so she could ask questions. She cried and we prayed for their families. She hasn't said anything else about it since.

There is now a police officer at the school (Head Start to Kinder) full-time. So far, the kids go about their way without paying much attention to him.

My sister, who teaches 5th grade at the intermediate school (4-5th grade) in the same district, said her kids are terrified. They panicked when the maintenance man knocked on the classroom door today.
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Lizzys_mommy13
by Member on Dec. 19, 2012 at 8:49 PM

I am sorry hun. :( Kids, especially that young, don't always understand fully what they are saying. 

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