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A call from the principle about my 5 yr old!!

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I didn't know how to approach my 5 and 7 year old about what had happened at sandy hook but i wanted to tell them of course but away you would explain it to a kindergartner and a 1st grader. softly i told them that a very bad man had went into a school with guns and killed a lot of innocent kids and teachers. Everyone was constantly talking about how to tell your children but now i wish i just kept it all hidden from them and i feel like this is now all my fault.

the principle called me yesterday and to find out what my 5 yr old said. he was sitting at a table with two girls and out of no where told them he was going to kick there butt and bring a gun to school tomorrow!!!!! and then the tears fell.. how could my child say that, these poor children probably now fearing the worst. Principle basically told him that its unacceptable, not to happen ever again and that there will be consequences. he was truly sorry and cried. i didn't know how to handle this but to just cry. i was in shock.

me and his father has to sit down with him and talk. had to set some major rules and also consequences for his behavior. i just cant believe that was my child.


updated:

first of all i explained to my kids what happened because they heard about it at school and on the news and asked me and i was not going to lie to them.

also the school had pulled drills with the kids all this week with the new safety procedures so before this situation it was discussed with the children what had happened, so not sure now where it came from.

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 7:12 AM
Replies (91-100):
ktinaza
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:14 PM
Same here

Quoting mommy_med:

kids repeat what they hear,,simple as that. i dint tell my kids, theyre just too young to have to deal with those extreme emotions


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lruesch
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:59 PM
We'll my sons school principle and superintendent both had sent out emails talking about how and what we should say to our kids about this situation. His school also does drills for such disasters and the lake county police come in about once a month with drug sniffing dogs and they check each and every locker,not that you could find anything in my sons locker , he is so in organized it drives me crazy!!!! But his school also has an anti bullying hotline that they can call and not say their name and also an email same thing not say who they are but what is going on with the bullying situation. We also get an email from the principle if there is a lock down like if a teacher becomes very ill and the ambulance has to come get him or her and she explains what happened. I didn't even hear about the sandy hood school shootings until my son came home and told me about it!!! I was shocked that he calmly told me about it and I was proud of him for being so calm
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Ivy80
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:09 PM

Wow, coincidentally this happened to me today. I can't say I was shocked. My son is 11. I wish he was only 5, maybe there would have been a bit more leniency. But he decided, not thinking, to make shooting gesture to his actual friends from across the classroom today. I do appreicate that his school does have zero tolerncy for these actions, but they decided to not suspend him but to hold him in from recess and serve detention. I was actually disturbed by this. I didnt want them to throw the book at him, but lets say this wasnt my son and it was a child I dont know doing it to him (I think on the other parents perspective as well) and I would question, is detention really solving the problem? I know my son and I know for a fact he wouldn't even say he would bring in anything to harm anyone, not even joking, but the gesture is just the same. I encouraged them to have a deeper conversation with him other than just detention. 

I haven't a clue why he would do such a thing at all in lieu of Fridays tragedy or at all for that matter. He had a big talking too. I just hope it sunk in and he learned his lesson. 


Freela
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:35 PM

If it makes you feel any better, when my son was five he told the librarian that "I'm so mad I could blow up the school" because she was closing the book fair early before he got a chance to shop. That was a call from the principal too. My son had no idea why that was a bad thing to say- when I pointed out that there were people who actually DO blow up schools, he was shocked and said, "Who would do that?" We really stressed that this is a threat, that threats are serious, and that we need to come up with different ways to express ourselves. He also got a pretty harsh punishment at home that involved him putting all his toys into bags for him to earn back with good behaviour... he had pretty much no toys for ages. He's now almost 11 and still talks about that punishment and why we need to choose our words better and has never done anything even close to that again. So I do feel for you, I've been there too, and know it was upsetting and embarassing and not one of my better days as a parent!

gardengirl23
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 11:45 PM

This is exactly why I didn't tell my kids.  

DieMyDarling
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 12:22 AM

hugs


You poor thing...I'd be upset, too.  I agree with the other posters, though.  He's so young...only 5!  He doesn't know what he's saying, and you certainly are going about handling this the right way.  

It would be upsetting no matter what, but he also just had increeeeedibly bad timing.

SlapItHigh
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 1:17 AM

Sorry that happened :(.  Our kids truly don't know how to deal with this.

she_walk_softly
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 2:40 AM

When I was in elementary we just took sex Ed and I called a boy a penis on the play ground. Got in huge trouble.He just said it because that is what people are talking about. He has no real understanding of how awful it is.

AmosFarkle
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:50 AM

It's time the media lays it to rest instead of blasting kids in the face with their own mortality.

mmpdrs07
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 10:22 AM

My Step Son did something along those lines about 5-6ish.  I could have died when his principal called and told me about it.  He had to spend the rest of the day in what they call The Buddy Room (basicly ISS) and when he got home he got a stern talk about what we say and what we don't say.  He appologized the next day to the little boy and it hasn't been a problem since.  When people say kids repeat what they hear, yeah I can say I believe that and I also believe that Kids have NO filter!  Hang in there momma your not the only one that has ever had those types of phone calls.

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