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unappreciated daycare provider rant

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So I have two kids I'm watching this year.  They are brothers.  One is home sick with dad today but mom still brought the sibling on her way to work.  This makes me angry for many reasons and I'm thinking of adding it to my policy that if one sibling is home sick then the other has to stay home as well.  First of all the sibling has probably been exposed to what the other has just isn't showing signs yet.  Second, if a parent is already staying home then why not use that time to be with BOTH kids?  Even though I'm paid whether they attend or not its not the QUANTITY of time your paying for its the QUALITY I provide.  If mom had kept both kids home she would be giving me a much needed day off.  Something I'd appreciate right now before the holidays.  I never get a bonus over Christmas break and i don't make the parents pay for the time I'm closed over Christmas either.  But back to the kids - why do parents not WANT to spend time with these babies?  Does dad find it too hard to take care of his two children for one afternoon?  If so then maybe I should call DHS on him. Even if i were home sick from work I'd keep my kids home from daycare with me.  These are not school age kids these are babies and toddlers we are talking about and that time goes by way to quick.  Parents are going to MISS these years with their kids.  The two boys spend 45 plus hours with ME monday through Friday.  And I don't fall for the "we want to keep the healthy one away form the sick one" excuse.  Your kid is more likely to catch something here at daycare than they are at home.  When one of my own three kids got sick when they were all little I didn't send the others away.  Also, I have parents who just OVER USE daycare in general.  I'm not a babysitting service.  Call grandma if you want to go work out, get your hair done or get things done around the house.  You as a parent should be WANTING to make up for all the time you're gone from your little ones while you were working.  They are little for such a short time and soon they will be in school.  Why not sacrifice and put as much time as you can into your babies that you CHOSE to have instead of dumping them on me every chance you get?  I'm here to provide a service and make money but I'm a child ADVOCATE first and when parents over use my daycare I feel like I'm actually providing something that if just bad for society.   It's making me want to quit providing home daycare.   Parents need to start being more concerned about the children AND about ME than they are about "getting their moneys worth."

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 11:44 AM
Replies (81-90):
by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 8:07 AM

You are no better than any parent you are putting down. Sitting on a pedestal snubbing other parents. Yes SOME people over use daycare. That does not mean that every parent does. You are getting the shit end right now because you have specifically have said "If mom had kept both kids home she would be giving me a much needed day off.  Something I'd appreciate right now before the holidays." Now you are saying that isn't what you meant. So pretty much you are pissed about your job. It is ok to be pissed about your job. To threaten to call DHS over an opinion though is pretty harsh. 

Quoting fernjo:

Thank you for proving my point about how sad parents are today.   I can terminate any daycare parent at any time.  I don't buy the excuse that dad is putting all his time into that sick child.  I've seen that one one too many times.  The mom will say "he was so glad to get that kitchen project done while Johnny napped or watched movies all day."   I've provided care for years and seen and heard it all.  I guess I hold out hope that parents will BE PARENTS but saddly for these babies it just gets worse over the years.  I do what I do because I love kids so it's only natural that I see what is going on wrong at home and that I FEEL for these kids.  It really is OVER USE of daycare.  Stay at home moms did MORE for their kids years ago and they were with them ALLLL DAY LONG.  If you are gone 9 hours a day five days a week then you had better WANT to be taking them along to even your gyno appointmets if you can swing it.  Thats not an exaggeration either as I did when my little one was small enough to carry around and had to be breast fed.  I just feel sad for these babies.  And society wonders why todays kids have problems.

by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 9:18 AM

Go to my other post "No wonder todays kids have problems" and maybe you will understand better where I am coming from. 

by on Dec. 20, 2012 at 6:24 PM

ok I'm a daycare provider that thinks what you have written is ridiculous. Sick kids sometimes need more care than non-sick ones. If you are getting paid anyway, what is the problem? Maybe have a contract drawn next time where you get paid time off?

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 7:09 PM

You're an idiot.  It is your JOB to watch these people's kids and you are being paid to do so.  A sick kid can't come to daycare, but a healthy child can, even if his/her sibling is sick.  If you want a day off, book a damn day off.

Before you get all defensive, I was a dayhome provider for 5 years.  It is a tough job but you chose it.  You can't refuse a healthy child.  It is the parents' decision, not yours and you don't get to judge it.  These are your clients, if they want to pay you to watch their kids, it is none of your damn business where they are while you have the kids. 

by on Jan. 9, 2013 at 10:07 PM

Wow, that's quite a rant. Well, I am trying hard to be understanding with your position, and you're right - it's good to be appreciated, and people should want to be with their kids. It's sad when they don't. But, you said "I'm not a babysitting service," and I do need to point out that, yes, in fact, that's exactly what you are, and p.s., it's not a cheap thing to pay for. You're position is harsh, (I can only assume because it was a rant, and you were just having a bad day, I hope?). How do you know dad wasn't sick too? Or trying to work from home while caring for the sick child? (Which would be impossible if there were a healthy little one to care for too).  If providing this service to families irritates you so greatly, it might be time to find a different occupation.

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 10:36 AM

Ok sorry but if I have one sick kid and the other seems fine I would bring him as well bc first of all I am paying for it and secondlky I woudl try to prevent my other kid from catching it! Sounds like you need a new job!

by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 11:04 AM
I do home daycare. The way I look at it, I'm getting payed who cares if one is with me and other is home sick. I don't charge parents for times I don't have their children (that's just how I look at it) everyone has their own opinion!! This is your job. The one parent is taking care of one child while the other is in daycare. I have had parents drop of one child while they do something with the other, vise versa. No problem with me again I'm getting payed (my job). Or their is a date night the parents go out to eat. They ask me ahead of time to see If I don't mind. Hey again I'm a home daycare if I have nothing going in bring them on over. I also have 3 kids of my own and boyfriend of 10 yrs. I make time for everyone and find time to get stuff done. We have a break time (I call it) I put on a movie and I at the same time get stuff done if I don't have time later. I also include the kids. They help me get dinner ready. Hey it's fun for them. But again I do home daycare as long as I'm getting payed bring on your children. I love kids and any child in my home will be treated as if they are my own!!!! I been doing home daycare for 10 yrs now
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by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 7:47 PM
I would first like to say I am one of the lucky ones and dont have to use daycare but with that beingsaid all this makes me never want bc obviously noone can be trusted. I joined this site for positive reinforcement and support not for some one going around calling everyone a bad parent!
by on Jan. 10, 2013 at 8:16 PM


This is about parents sending kids to daycare even when one parent is home and the abuse of the daycare system. (I may have missed this news flash, since when does paying parents abuse the daycare system and I know in my experience for my 4 yr. old potty trained DS it cost me $700 a month and a minute late you started getting $5 fee tacked on and it didn't matter if you worked the entire day and got stuck in traffic)THANKFULLY I do not have to have him in daycare now and am a SAHM that will be homeschooling, no negative Nellys needed to help guide my child any longer. (I have however heard of people, that work minimun and keep kids in daycare all day on top of getting the finicial help from the goverment, but why harp on them right??, its just the people that work hard for their money and pay you for a service that you offer.)

 It's about the poor kids. It's about the fact that yes, I'm  here for those babies 45-50 hours a week day in and day out all year long.  The FEW times that mom or dad is home can't they at least BE HOME WITH their child?!?!!  (Why do you think it's your business how mom or dad spend their time when they pay you their hard earned money for a service that you have offered to them.  You did offer it to them didn't you??  Or did they just show up at your door and drop money in the slot and leave their child/ren??)  Some people aren't fortunate enough these days and it may be no fault of yours some of the difficult situations they have at home, but to many parents I know it was mine for awhile that if I got off early from work it was the only time I had to do something for me, how selfish of meshouting 

It makes me sad for the child and mad at the parents.  (For some parents this is a need to have their child/ren in daycare and you aren't paid to the dictator of what that need may be, if you don't like that a parent will keep one child out and send one to daycare or you require a parent only drop their child off to go to work ONLY then I suggest you make changes to your rates/tuition, people will pay for what they use and if you don't like the reasoning then add that into your policy)

I'm sorry that that struck a nerve for some of you. It must be because you're guilty of doing the above.  ( I don't think it has so much to do with feeling guilty, most parents in this world and even in eras and generations before this one has hired a babysitter for some reason or other.  You are a Daycare Center NOT a Working Parent Care Center).  You are paid for a service, could I expect to pay to go to the Gym and not find Workout equipment or an instructor??

We will never see eye to eye on this and it's sad that this site for women has us at each others throats.  (May I add that you were the one that started this thread based off on your sole opionion on how a whole system works or that every family "abuses" it as such that you see??)

The HATE is coming from you moms of daycare kids.  Go back and reread my original post.  I'm not attacking anyone the way you all started out.  You've all just cemented my original feelings with you're immature and angry posts.  I think I will close up shop.  I'm here for children - not to provide service for selfish adults. (Agreed, so stick to that, stop trying to be the dictator of appropriate daycare needs for a family, again if you want to do that be more selective in who you choose to bring into your homes daycare)

by on Jan. 14, 2013 at 2:37 PM

I would be interested in what your policies are and paid vacation/holidays...

I've been in childcare for 31 years.   I've worked Corp., Church, Registered in home and now Licensed In Home.

I have felt like you as well.  But I had to be careful with demands that were unfair.  Most parents feel guilty and lacking as a parent.  Why?  Because sometimes we know more about their child than they do.

We are with them for about 10 hrs a day, 5 days a week.  It's a balance, I know you understand me.  (^_^)

The worst thing I ever heard a parent say when she was off and I assumed she was picking up early was:  " I HAD her all WEEKEND!".  THOSE are the parents we should rant about.

When they are ill, well.... I feel the same way but it's the real world and what WE want doesn't always come true does it? lol  I have had children with sibs and one stayed home due to illness.  The other sib never got sick.  

Parents are working a balancing act with not taking off to much due to children being ill.  They can lose their jobs.  You COULD encourage them, if you felt strongly about it, to keep the sib home as they will probably be ill soon and it might be more easily understood by bosses... but I don't sweat it.  I just take a base temp and go from there.

If you need a day off before the holidays, why not take a paid personal day off?  We have two weeks a year for vacation and 5 personal days.  If we don't take the 5 personal days, then oh well.

If you feel over used, why not start telling all parents that you only have 10 hr slots?

I tell mine at the phone interview then later in the face to face that most parents work 8 hr days, 1 hr lunch with 30 min drive time to and from = 10 hrs.  Anything earlier than agreed upon arrival time or after departure is 10.00 convenience fee or late fee.  I charge 10.00 per 15 min or ANY part there of.  Unless they give me notice that they have traffic issues or an unexpected meeting, I then charge 10.00 for the first 30 min and last 30 then goes back up to 10.00 per 15 min.

It helps to visit with other providers and see what they offer or charge.

I hope this helps?  I wasn't attempting to be judgemental...

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