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no wonder todays kids have problems

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I provide home daycare.  When I started years ago I fully expected that parents would be missing their kids and want to be with them as much as possible.  I expected parents to maybe stop by once in awhile to have lunch with us or take off from work early to surprise jimmy and say "hey kiddo lets you and I go to the park" or take a day off from work to actually tend to their sick child without grumble.  Instead I get parents asking me to stay open past the ten hours I already provide.  I actually have some parents who are teachers that want to bring their kids across town on icy roads even when they themselves have a snow day just so they can have "me time."  And today I had mom bring the brother of a sibling who is home sick - even though dad was at home with the sibling.  WTF?  Even my teens who got home from school wondered why the other sibling was here if his dad was at home with the other one.  And the sibling was not that sick mind you.  I think dad just wanted to "get things done around the house" either that or he's a complete boob who can't handle two kids at one time (even though I handle six at once and his two on a regular basis).  I think some parents care more about the money they are spending than they do their kids.  They want to "get their moneys worth " so to speak .  I feel sorry for todays kids.  Daycares that open at 6am and close at 6pm are NOT to be used the entire time by one child.  Those hours are to accomodate the different work hours and schedules of the different families.  Some people have to be at work by 7am and others at 9am.  Don't abuse the daycare hours and abuse your kids by sending them there that entire time just so you can go work out or grab groceries after you punch out.  Some parents SUCK!  I think I'm going to make my hours much shorter and start to charge more as parents don't value me or their kids and I have lost respect for them. 

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 6:58 PM
Replies (11-20):
Acid
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 9:51 AM

It was difficult to read your post because of the lack of paragraphs and punctuation.

I'm gathering that you are frustrated at the lack of involvement in children's lives.

It's the new society.  You just have to get used to it.  People enjoy the sex, they do not enjoy what comes after.

mary841108
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:21 AM
1 mom liked this

 some people work 12 hour shifts and need to use daycare for the entire time, it is not child abuse it is them making a living so they can provide the essentials for their families. I would definitely not send my children to your daycare if i needed it with your 'professional' attitude. Some parents cant afford to take a sick day, or a day off or even a half a day off. quit complaining or find a new job. thank god im a sahm, i'd end up having the entire daycare shut down if my kids went to OPs

Quoting fernjo:

Thank you to the other provider who posted and said she can totally relate to what I said.  It breaks our hearts to see so many kids being raised by people other than their own parents.  It's like parents don't WANT to be WITH their kids any longer than they have to be.  I just do not understand that.  I have moms in tears when they leave their four month old with me and head back to work that first day their maternity leave is up .  But that is QUICKLY replaced by mom asking me if I'll open earlier or stay open later or if my teen can come and babysit over the weekend.   She never takes a day off to be with the baby, never tries to get off from work early and when she does she uses is to do other things.  I know this from talking to her.  I talk to all my parents and I know exactly what they do and what is going on at home.  I live in a small community.  After awhile I feel like what I do for a living is just adding to the downfall of our society.  This is my home and it is my business and I am the one that interviews the many parents on my wainting list.  I have my pick of familys and I can boot you out any time I choose for pretty much any reason I choose.  I have a strict policy that outlines what MY philosophy is and how I choose to run things and what I expect from the parents.  I have had to add to it each year due to adults not using common sense and trying to push the rules and ignore others and taking advantage of me.  I'm going to have to make it clear that I am not here for their convenience so to speak - I am here for them to go to work and that is it. I am a child advocate and I cannot justify ANYONE no matter how much you pay me leaving a small child (toddlers and babies) in the care of someone else (no matter if they were mary fucking poppins) for 10 plus hours a day day in and day out five days a week.  I don't care what your PLIGHT is and how you didn't foresee that your job hours made it hard to actually PARENT your child.  That aint MY problem.  But I can control how MY daycare is run and who comes here and who does not.  It is CHILD ABUSE to send babies off to daycare for 10 hours each day.  You don't like me saying that but sorry that the TRUTH HURTS.  These are our children we are talking about here and I'm not going to sugar coat it just because it makes you feel uncomfortable.  Go to the other groups on this web site - the ones where providers talk about daycare.  Most say the exact same thing as I do!

 

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fernjo
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:26 AM

I realize some work twelve hour days.  But mom AND dad BOTH DO?!  That is not right.  Don't have kids if you can't be home with them more than that.  I know people who are creative and have resources and a communtiy of help so that the child isn't stuck at daycare that long.  Mom and dad work diff. shifts or they move closer to grandma or an aunt.  Be an adult.  Be a parent and be there for your babies.  Even the most loving and fun daycare provider cannot make up for the lack of parental time the child gets each week year in and year out.  Nobody can replace mom and dad!  Just because they HAVE to work those long hours does not make it RIGHT.  Remember that.

MamaRae85
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:27 AM
1 mom liked this

Sometimes it has nothing to do with being a neglectful parent. My son is with me 24/7. I want to put him in daycare so that he's exposed to the peer environment. He doesn't get it anywhere else except church and even then, he's usually the only kid in the nursery. Daycare would provide him with consistent peer interaction. So I'd be one of those mothers dropping my kid off to go do errands or even ::GASP:: to go home.

Bottom line: Stop being a daycare worker if you can't take care of kids without making assumptions about their home lives and without being bitter about YOUR CHOSEN JOB!

fernjo
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:28 AM

Oh and whats "ESSENTIAL" is the parent being there for the child more than just for bath time, dinner and a story each evening and more than just the weekends.  Twelve hours a day in daycare is TOOOOOO LONG!

fernjo
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:30 AM

Does twelve hours even leave time for dinner, bath and a story?  Gosh, I don't even think it does!

MamaRae85
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:30 AM
1 mom liked this

Seriously? BUTT. OUT. You have no idea if they're having to work that long temporarily because money is tight. I feel bad for their kids that you're the one taking care of them insteasd of someone who can just enjoy being with the kids without exposing them to such a negative and judgemental environment.

Quoting fernjo:

I realize some work twelve hour days.  But mom AND dad BOTH DO?!  That is not right.  Don't have kids if you can't be home with them more than that.  I know people who are creative and have resources and a communtiy of help so that the child isn't stuck at daycare that long.  Mom and dad work diff. shifts or they move closer to grandma or an aunt.  Be an adult.  Be a parent and be there for your babies.  Even the most loving and fun daycare provider cannot make up for the lack of parental time the child gets each week year in and year out.  Nobody can replace mom and dad!  Just because they HAVE to work those long hours does not make it RIGHT.  Remember that.


fernjo
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:35 AM

But you are with him MOST of the time.  Your situation is different than the ones who work all day long five days a week.  But even then, I still shake my head and do not understand how parents could want to waste money on daycare when they are stay at home moms.  Your kid can get PLENTY of interaction by calling up the neighbor and having a regular play date at :HOME.  I took my three kids to a wednesday bible time where I studies and talked about the bible with other moms at a church and the kids had a sunday school setting.  That was in addition to the sunday school they went to each sunday morning.  Those are for an hour or two.  Which is perfect.  I also took them to the library once a week for story time.  I was WITH THEM and we did thing TOGETHER!!

fernjo
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:37 AM

I enjoy kid and love them and an with them and it is because of that that I feel for them.  Trust me - they love me and love coming to my home but I am not a replacement for mommy and daddy.  You can NEVER get these years back.  Sad for the kids and sad for mom and dad too.

SamiJ18
by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:39 AM
1 mom liked this
My son spent all day at daycare yesterday so that my husband and I could run errands and have a movie/lunch date. It was my son's first day back in over a week. His daycare teacher missed him very much.
My son is there today even though I am on vacation.

Our kids get plenty of time with us and we are always doing something together. Last night, we made s'mores, watched Elf and all 4 of us slept on a pallet on the floor. Tonight, we are having dinner with grandpa.

Your mindset is terrible. Parents need time to themselves. It doesn't make them neglectful or abusive. You should be thankful that so many parents trust you with their children.
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