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Christmas eve drama!

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So this Christmas eve once again we went to my aunt and uncles house to celebrate with my moms side of the family. DH and I have twin 2yr old boys (just turned 2 December 6th) and I am wondering how other moms would react in this situation.

A little background that is relevant in a way to the story is, my uncle (my moms sisters husband) is a manic depressant with schizophrenia and is sometimes on medication. Through the years his behavior has always been brushed off, because "you know how he is"
He can be very rude and gives his opinion even when it's not asked for and says the most inappropriate things often offending many people. My aunt (my moms sister) always defends him and says he's just an idiot, you know how he is......look where it's coming from.
Well you know what, after so many insults and so much BS you get sick and tired of his behavior. My aunts is not far behind, she is a jealous woman who is always voicing her own opinion and often too offending and saying inappropriate remarks.

They have children not much younger than DH and I (a boy and girl) and are always comparing and praising their children and their lifestyle. They are all into looks and labels. They are not poor by any means, but both my uncle and his son in law (my cousins husband) are city workers, live in a decent area and have decent houses. They spend most of their money on clothes, shoes and pocket books so they always look their best when they go places and often make snide comments about other peoples styles or lack of!

All in all they are not BAD people and they can be fun to be around sometimes but the problem comes in because my DH comes from a wealthy family and has a great job himself, makes great money, we live in a very expensive area, an area my aunt was always admiring and trying to talk her husband into moving many years ago. They couldn't afford it so when we moved here they did quite a bit of trash talking about our house and how the neighborhood wasn't all that.
My cousin is pregnant and will be returning to work after her maternity leave and I am a SAHM so now all I hear is how she would go crazy being home all day and loosing her identity being around kiddie stuff all day. Mind you all I am a college educated woman and had a very good career in the medical field and worked for many years before I had my boys.

Ok so finally Christmas eve..........we were in a house full of family my boys know and love, my moms 2 brothers, my male cousin and my cousins husband were running arou d chasing my sons, lifting them up "flying" them around and taking ornaments off the tree pointing out , this is Santa and this is a wooden soldier, etc.....
All the while my mom, myself and my husband only a few steps behind so things didn't get broken or too crazy. I must say with all the excitement and stimulation they were in no way really "bad" they never got onto the furniture and jumped around or threw anything or even touched anything in the wrong way. @ one point one of my sons ran into the kitchen, which by the way I was willing to gate off by bringing a gate from home and was told it wouldn't be necessary. Anyway my aunt had the dishwasher open and was loading it up when my son leaned in, yes leaned not stepped in or crawled into......he leaned in and I was right behind him when my uncle (moms sisters husband) started cursing and yelling to get the fk out of here with these kids, they are too wild and no one is watching them, they are going to break the dishwasher, they are too wild they don't belong here!
I grabbed my son walked into the livingnroom and told my husband it was time to go and proceeded to put our coats on and left in a huff. Naturally the other guests that didn't see what happened kept asking what was wrong and I didn't reply except it was late and time to get going.
The next day my aunt (moms sister) went to my other uncles house (her brother) and told him her husband was only half to blame that the kids parents deserve the rest because they weren't watching them, they were too wild and that we don't know how to discipline our children!
She also proceeded to say she doesnt believe in babyproofing, and that my living room is like romper room! Mean while I have very pretty baskets the same color as my wood wall unit that I have some of the kids toys, books and puzzles in! And yes during the day I allow my kids to play in the living room, I don't think I want my 2yr olds playing in another room unsupervised or that I should stay in a closed room with them so nothing around the house ever gets done!

So my cousin sent me a text about how bad his parents feel and the ever popular you know how my dad is excuse. And I told him I didn't want to hear it, I have been insulted many times and have always turned the other cheek but this time because it involved my children and criticism about my parenting abilities I am not ready to hear an apology or even talk to them yet.
Am I wrong or would all of you feel so strongly about their actions and attitude?
by on Dec. 27, 2012 at 6:12 PM
Replies (11-12):
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 1:04 PM
Thanks for the continued support. My aunt left a message on my answering machine and said she was sorry things went so badly and that her husbands cursing was directed toward her for telling him to be quiet, not toward me and my family.
So she isn't really apologizing she is making excuses. I will give them that crumb, ok he was cursing @ you, #1- there was no need to curse period! #2- he still said they were too wild we shouldn't bring them anywhere and that they don't belong here! And #3- the following day she still said things about my parenting and agreed with her husband that they were too wild.
Obviously she is only saying she is sorry things went badly, not that her husband acted inappropriately! Or even for her own nasty remarks about our parenting abilities! Yes, I am done. Maybe in the future when the dust settles we can be cordial but never again will my children be in THIER home or will I celebrate holidays with them!
by on Dec. 29, 2012 at 4:18 PM
1 mom liked this

you were correct and the only issue here is your Uncle which they keep making excuses for..Good luck

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