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Manipulation........Why would you do that to a 7yr old?

Posted by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:16 PM
  • 12 Replies

My little guys father is a professional manipulator!! One of the many reasons I FINALLY left him. 

Story is, one of my older ds20 has been asking xh for months to spend a weekend with ds7.  Xh always replies thru texting with a "sorry, we have plans"....We'll I created a page (on facebook) for my ds7 that focuses on his medical issues and is a support group or just somewhere where family, friends, old doctors and nurses of my ds7 can go to see how he is doing. I finally allowed his xh to be part of the page. AFTER months of thinking about it. (Bad idea, but thats a whole other POST...lol)

Anyway since my ds20 would always get shut down for a visitations with sd7, my sd20 decided to go to the page and simply ask if he could have ds7 for the weekend. There was no response until the next morning. And it simply said " yes,. he would like that"....my ds20 never responded back and just took the win for a win. Well ds7 had visitation with xh last night, this morning he comes home devistated because xh told him he could only stay half the weekend with ds20. Ds7 said that xh made him feel bad because ds7 wanted to stay the whole weekend and starting drilling him to say he would only stay half a weekend. 

Why would he do that to his own child? needless to say i am not discussing it with xh, its a waste of my breathe and time, nor has he contacted me about the change. So I will allow my ds7 to go to his brothers house for the weekend as planned. And i am sure I will hear about it from xh come Saturday which is when he planned on picking up ds7 from ds20's. 

I am really tired of his games. And now that it is effecting my little boy, I'm thinking its time to go back to court....

by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 8:16 PM
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Replies (1-10):
squocket
by on Jan. 3, 2013 at 10:08 PM

I am confused. Was your ex already planning on seeing your son before he decided to stay the whole weekend with his brother? Did anyone, besides your youngest son, inform your ex of the change in plans? I am not in support of what your ex did and think that he should have been happy to allow your son to spend the weekend with his brother, but, if no one told him plans had changed, I can see how he would be hurt. Perhaps they could all three spend Saturday together at your 20 year old's place.

SlapItHigh
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 1:42 AM

So sorry. 

Pammi86
by Pamela on Jan. 4, 2013 at 6:41 AM

Sorry. : (

goddess99
by Michelle on Jan. 4, 2013 at 10:10 AM

Sorry, good luck with everything.

angirose
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:51 PM


Quoting squocket:

I am confused. Was your ex already planning on seeing your son before he decided to stay the whole weekend with his brother? Did anyone, besides your youngest son, inform your ex of the change in plans? I am not in support of what your ex did and think that he should have been happy to allow your son to spend the weekend with his brother, but, if no one told him plans had changed, I can see how he would be hurt. Perhaps they could all three spend Saturday together at your 20 year old's place.


sorry maybe I wasnt clear enough in the post. My ds7 spends every weekend with his father. (typically) and my xh has said many times that if his brothers or I would like to have ds7 for the weekend all we have to do is ask. (of ocurse I would spend all the time I could w my ds7) Well we have all asked. many many times in the past two yrs. I have been allowed to have my son7 twice on a weekend for the past two yrs. Only because xh was visiting friends out of town. Xh has always told my older boys when they text and ask to have their brother that ds7 cant stay with them because "they have plans".....MY older children..23 & 20, do not and will not spend time with my xh. He has mentally abused them for years and now that they are adults they choose to have nothing to do with him. Nor does xh try to spend time with them. ANd xh was the one who told ds20 that ds7 could stay the whole weekend with him. Then changed his mind and decided it was only for half the weekend. But xh hasnt informed me or ds20 of the change. Only discussed it with ds7.

angirose
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:51 PM


Quoting goddess99:

Sorry, good luck with everything.


thank you...

angirose
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:52 PM


Quoting SlapItHigh:

So sorry. 


thank you

angirose
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 12:52 PM


Quoting Pammi86:

Sorry. : (


thanks

splatz
by Sarah on Jan. 4, 2013 at 2:16 PM
Confusing ...

Anyways, the whole manipulation thing is REALLY hard. I deal with it all the time. My son is 7 so he gets it to an extent. A lot of times he says now "I had to say (or do) that because if not daddy will get mad at me." I hate that hes afraid to be who he is because of it all. :(
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angirose
by on Jan. 4, 2013 at 4:13 PM


Quoting splatz:

Confusing ...

Anyways, the whole manipulation thing is REALLY hard. I deal with it all the time. My son is 7 so he gets it to an extent. A lot of times he says now "I had to say (or do) that because if not daddy will get mad at me." I hate that hes afraid to be who he is because of it all. :(


Exactly!!

 

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