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So I just read an article in the February issue of Parenting magazine about parents judging other parents on their parenting choices. There was an interesting statistic in there (one which I'm actually part of) that says 1 in 3 moms has lost a friend due to a judgy attitude. As I was sitting here, thankful for the statistical fact that I am not alone, I was wondering who here on cafemom has dealt with that experience (you are NOT alone)

I lost a friend of 5 years after she said that breastfeeding past 1yo was just plain disgusting and not letting a baby CIO was ignorant parenting. I didn't feel that I needed that sort of "support" and let her know that I disagreed and people are entitled to parent how they choose, as long as the baby isn't put in any life-threatening danger and they grow up happy. I haven't spoken to her in over a year and I'm fine with that.

That being said, I am a judgy parent. I think it goes hand-in-hand with becoming a parent. I read and researched various methods of raising my child and I chose the ones that worked best for me. Yes I'll think "wow...no wonder," when I see my SIL with her too chubby baby (IMO, of course) giving him another bottle because he's crying, so he must be hungry, even though he JUST ate. But will I say anything? Probably not. I may suggest other causes to his discomfort, but ni the end, it's HER choice and I constantly remind myself, how would I feel (and how I DID feel) for another parent to give me dirty looks or tell me how to BF or not BF my baby, co-sleep or let her CIO, rice cereal at 6m, baby food at 7m, no make your own, no do baby-led solids. So I let it be. Plus I can't afford the family rift it would cause.

Have any of you ever lost a friend due to your parenting style? Or because you were too judgmental of theirs?

by on Jan. 19, 2013 at 1:56 PM
Replies (11-16):
auntangelofsix
by Angel on Jan. 20, 2013 at 11:32 AM
No i have not.
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zacmacsmomm
by Member on Jan. 20, 2013 at 5:40 PM

Nah, I haven't.  Mainly because I've never given a rats ass about what other people thought about my bottle fed, CIO, chubby baby.  Or my other, bottle fed, reflux meds, clingy so put her in a gym day care so I could get a break, baby.  There isn't a single person on this planet who could have raised  my children better, never been insecure in my parenting.lol.  Also I just have really good friends.  If a friend asks my opinon, I give it.  But otherwise I try not to, not my child, not my place.  I also think it helps because when my son was born, none of my friends had kids, so I was the first really.  We all do what we feel is best for our babies.  That's whats important.

HotMommaStout
by on Jan. 20, 2013 at 6:35 PM
1 mom liked this

No I haven't. I have opinions but I keep them to myself, and I always try not to judge.

Artistic, creative, balanced, healthy eating, mostly green, circumcising, vaccinating, occasionally spanking, non judgmental Air Force wife and stay at home mommy of three crazy little boys in elementary school.



MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Jan. 20, 2013 at 8:28 PM

No

delanna6two
by Platinum Member on Jan. 21, 2013 at 7:49 AM

No, I try my best to stay out of these type discussions....to each his or her own...everyone is different...jmo

amanda81919
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 8:27 AM
Yes and they weren't even parents.
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