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Any other new moms with first child without family support?  I am 41 years of age with our first child and all of a sudden my Husband and I don't hear from our families. 

by on Jan. 22, 2013 at 5:38 PM
Replies (31-37):
MichelleMc
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:06 PM



Quoting Mimee1971:

I am going to come out and just ask for help every now and then seeing they won't volunteer.  Even though i shouldn't have to do this.  Will see how it goes.  Thanks


Again, you want them to help, and since they won't volunteer,  you are going to ask them. Not come see your son, you want them to help.

MichelleMc
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:07 PM



Quoting Mimee1971:

would like some of them to visit maybe once a month to see our little guy.  Maybe watch him so i can do a little cleaning.  They are my sisters and sister in laws that ive been close to.


Again, watch him. You started out good with visit, but went straight to watch him. I am sure family is picking up on all this. Especially since you admitted you have hinted this to family on several occasions. 

MichelleMc
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 2:11 PM



Quoting Mimee1971:

Hi Michelle, well i think you got me all wrong with what your saying.  I never said i want my family to cook and clean....where did you read that?  I am saying my child does not see our families and sisters and sister in laws should want and yes volunteer to come over and visit.  They did before we had our baby.  I am far from selfish and writing doesn't do any justice.  We have always done for everyone including everyone elses children because we enjoyed it.  We have always been surrounded by family, our house was always visited.  Now its a ghost town.  I do not make our families think they need to bring food or come and clean my home.  I do my own cleaning and cooking.  I am complaining about not having a little break and that my child doesn't see his family.  Please before you write nasty words get it straight first!

I for sure got it straight. You have constantly said you have hinted  about why no one came to help you clean, brought you lunch, helped watch him. I am sure they have picked up on it, and maybe it has gotten old. I get you feel that you helping out, they should have been given back to you. But maybe they felt what you did wasn't some type of a, I did for you, so you should be doing for me. Or maybe it should be a couple you do this, not a constant hint, or complaint or whine. 

Maybe, if it was a welcoming come see my child without a hidden agenda, they would come over. 


Mimee1971
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:00 PM

It's funny that i have more people supporting me than not, because they get it and you don't.  I am mature enough to walk away from this nonsense.  Seems your an unhappy lonely individual.  Good luck to you.

Knightquester
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:23 PM
2 moms liked this

I don't know what you mean by family support, but if I have ever needed my family because I went into the hospital they are there, so in that sense I would always have support.  Otherwise I don't ask or expect help from family, not even when my husband and I were working full-time opposite shifts.

My family and my husbands are busy, our parents have raised their children and if they want to visit their grandchildren they only have to call and ask.  My mom works long hours and lives a few hours from us so if she takes them it's usually less than three times in a year (sometimes none which is fine).  My in-laws live out of state so they see the kids maybe once or twice in a year and it's when my husband and I can make it happen, so we're there too.

If you're in need of help I would try to sit down with your loved ones and talk to them.  It could be that your family is so busy with their own lives that they're not seeing that you're in need of help.  The good news is that life does get easier the older your children are and the more work you invest into them, so hang in there.

Shaybay218
by on Jan. 28, 2013 at 4:44 PM

Sorry Hunni, maybe you can meet someone on here that's close in your area that won't mind helping...i'm in ga i'm sure far as hell away from you...

MichelleMc
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 3:08 PM



Quoting Mimee1971:

It's funny that i have more people supporting me than not, because they get it and you don't.  I am mature enough to walk away from this nonsense.  Seems your an unhappy lonely individual.  Good luck to you.


Nope I am a very happy, not even close to lonely person. You seem to be the only one that was lonely & unhappy. Saying no one would come see you & your baby now. I was just trying to tell you, that you came across as whining & begging, which would turn people off. When I explained how it would very well seem how you were coming off, and the posts I read you said. You said you NEVER said you wanted people to clean, and I showed you, you very well said you did in those posts. You said I did for them, they should for me. That is a horrible attitude. You shouldn't expect people to do for you. Maybe that is why people aren't wanting to come around to see your baby because you are wanting them to watch him, clean for you, bring you lunch, instead of just seeing the baby. People shouldn't expect people to do for them, you just had a baby, not 3 at once, not anything out of the realm. Sounds like you have a husband, so you aren't alone. You didn't mention having a disability, so come on. You aren't 16 so, you aren't someone that needs to grow up, come on now. 

Try not expecting anyone to DO something for you, and just see the baby. Stop thinking I did for them, they should do for me. Stop thinking they should bring me lunch, come clean or come watch the baby so I can clean. Be like everyone else & fit it in when they are in the swing or napping or when your husband gets home. 


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