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mommy needing support ane advice

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Hello my name is Candice. I'm a proud mommy of three beautiful children. Im new here and was wondering if i could maybe get some advice.
My ten yr old is out of hand latley. Its getting hard physically, emotionaly, and mentaly to handle him anymore. I feel at my breaking point. Sometimes i even think to myself that it might be easier sending him to my moms to live. But im in fear that he would cause her stress. He doesn't want to listen. He does what he wants to. He talks and treats me like im dumb:(
He picks on his two youger sisters. Constantly argues wity my partner and i.
I feel like im stretching myself thin just to please him. While the rest of the family suffers. :(
Does anyone have any advice?
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by on Jan. 27, 2013 at 9:41 PM
Replies (21-30):
mattiehatter
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:31 AM

Quit trying to please him and be his mother! The way this reads you are letting him control your family. Get him into some couselling, make consequences for his actions and stick with them.

iamcafemom83
by Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 4:34 AM
"I feel like I am stretching myself thin to please him."

Judging from this sentence alone....I would say this could be part if the issue. If he is acting up, what are you doing for discipline/punishment? You shouldn't be trying to please him....:) you need to pick a strategy (taking things or fun activities away, sending him to bed after dinner if he gets three strikes in a day) and use it. When one of my kids gives me a hard time (let's face it, they do! Part of growing up I suppose), I make things harder for them. It's not instantaneous, but they learn that when they are good, life is easier.
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prdmomnarmywife
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 6:59 AM
I am no help . My 5 year old acts this way :(
I discipline if he's being bad though not try to please . Mine talks back , curses, hits. Throws things & has an extreme listening problem . No form of discipline works :( his teachers are even getting fed up
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MomTiara19
by Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 7:02 AM

How is he doing in school,grades,bullying,any major changes at home?

Talk to his teachers and maybe get a thorough exam from his doctor.

Good luck

cjsbmom
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 8:41 AM

 Have you taken him to see a counselor yet? If not, you should schedule an appointment with one. It sounds like he has some issues that need to be worked out, and it's manifesting itself in his bad behavior toward his entire family.

Jessica0930
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:05 AM

I would talk to a councelor and have him also go see a councelor. It could be multiple things. My sister is 22 and still runs my parents lives and anyone elses lives that she can run. She has been that way since she was young but my parents just dealt with it. I dont know why. And for some reason I was always her target. I eventually moved out cause I couldnt take it anymore. Do something before he gets much older. I dont want you to go through what my family has gone through. Seek help while he is still young.

LadyBugMom09
by Member on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:30 AM
Don't try to please him. Make him work for his luxuries like we all have to in the real world. Take everything away from him that are perks, like TV, video games, whatever else he likes and make him earn them with points he makes from doing chores. Punish the bad behavior by taking away those things.

But, discipline without love won't work. Try spending one on one time with him, talk with him, seek a counselor and let him know how much you love him every day, even when he's misbehaving.

GL
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gcecelie
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:37 AM

 All the advice I can give is just with what my parents did for me. I was never an out of control child, but my Mom never went out of her way to please me. No is no and if she didn't feel like doing something she just didn't do it. I had to suck it up. And I was too afraid to be consistently disobedient. My parents are old school though so spanking was just something you do.

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JOEJULA
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:42 AM

Family therapy and counselling. Parenting classes for difficult children. Big brother program. Make him volunteer in the community. Outreach programs. The older he gets the more challenging he will become. Desperate times call for desperate measures. He could be developing a psychiatric disorder such as bi polar or ADD. First step is seeing a family therapist and get your child evaluated.

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gibro19
by on Jan. 30, 2013 at 9:44 AM
1 mom liked this

I shared a similar post a few days ago about my step daughter - she is 12 - however she is Bi-polar.  If your son doesn't suffer from mental illness - I think in times of frustration - it almost seems harder to deal with - because you can't necessarily say "oh it's because he's bipolar" so you are kind of left at a loss over why your son is acting the way he is.

What I can say - is that the suggestions of the other moms have been really good and positive - so I will say - do what you can and I will pray that you have continued strength.

Sometimes when we don't know what's what or up or down - all we can do is continue to fight the good fight - and in the end pray that our children see that all we did was out of love for them.

So bottom line - if after doing everything you can possibly do - if sending him to Grandma for awhile helps - then so be it. We are thinking of sending our child to Grandma's for the summer - just for an opportunity for all of us to get a nice little break, and reset.

I hope today you can at least breathe a little and know that you can make it through this.

xx

Gigi

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