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IS IT RIGHT I AM LYING TO MY SON????

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My son is 10 months old sorry not 8, I met my boyfriend when I first got pregnant. His biological father don't want nothing to do with him nor me, he dont think its his son, we have not done a dna test, because I dont want him in the picture. I think he will be a bad roll model. My boyfriend has been a great daddy to him, but do you think I should continue with Mark(boyfriend) as his father or should I contact his biological father and give him a chance to be there for him and give Spencer(my son) the chance to know his father. I dont want him to get older and find out I have been lying and then hate Mark or worse hate me. So Please help me.. I have no Idea what to do!!!

by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 5:22 PM
Replies (11-20):
goddess99
by Michelle on Jan. 29, 2013 at 6:45 PM

I didn't read the other replies so idk what's been said. Since he's so young, I wouldn't worry yet. Depending on what his birth certificate says, he might find out on his own some day. I would say when he gets older, and if you marry Mark, then maybe tell him the truth, that Mark is your stepdad. That's a tough one. Good luck.

BLHSWH2012
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:14 PM

The birth certificut dont have anything on it yet, we are planning to put Mark on it when we send it in.

klbetts
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 7:39 PM
I met my DH when my oldest DD was just over a year old. Her bf has not been in the picture since she was two weeks old. I have explained that she has a father and a Daddy. My DH is her Daddy. He is the one who chose to raise her. The father is just half is her DNA.
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splatz
by Sarah on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:25 PM
So you are lying to your son and on a legal document?

Yes, that is wrong and will bite you in the ass later.


Quoting BLHSWH2012:

Were not yet, we were just going to put him on the bc as he is the father. we r just going to put him down. and him sign it.

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wifeynmommie80
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:38 PM

You can't lie about this. This is a BIGGIE. Its ok if you BF is calling him Dada thats fine, he is taking that roll. But you can't tell him in the future that his Bio dad. Thats so morally wrong, I can't even imagine. My father, left us when I was 3.  My moms BF stepped in and took over as dad, and I called him dad, but my mom was totally honest, she told us, your dad left and he thinks your brother isn't his.  Nearly 25 years later my dad contacted us in tears apologizing just to let us know he was young and stupid. Now I am trying to rebuild that with him. And it means the world to both my mom and my stepdad. Its important you tell him the truth. People change, and even if they don't. As a mother, this is something you need to be surely honest about.  Because you never know when skeletons come out of the closet. You never know when his  dad will decide to show up at your doorstep.

Quoting BLHSWH2012:

He is already calling my boyfriend Dada and I am sorry he is 10 months.. and His biological fathe risnt on the birth certificate but Mark wants to be, he wants to be his father and wants to be there for him, He has his own son who is 4 and I love him to death, so is it wrong for me to have another Father be his father.


MommaTasha1003
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 8:46 PM

Let him grow up knowing the truth.... See if bio dad wants in his life... If u want a personal story about this msg me..

MommyKir
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:23 PM

1. Does the fater know about the child? If not you have to tell him, he has a right to have a choice. 2. if he doesnt want to know his sonthen have him sign his rights over to your bf, and your bf can adopt your son. Suck u your own issues and do whats right for your child.

SlapItHigh
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:29 PM
It's not right.
LovemyQ
by on Jan. 29, 2013 at 9:33 PM
3 moms liked this

You have not even been with the boyfriend for one year yet, and have no plans to get married. Why would you put boyfriend on the birth certificate? Or have him adopt your son? So far, no one has long term actions to stay together. What happens when you break up 6 months down the line? Sure, you may go the distance, but if no one is even getting married, where is the proof? Sounds like you are trying to solidify your relationship by using the kids.

And wifeynmommie80 has it right.

momof3grls4517
by New Member on Jan. 29, 2013 at 10:00 PM
1 mom liked this


I thought the same thing. Will he have to pay child support if you two don't work out since he is on the BC. call me crazy but I thought it was illegal to falsefy a document.

Quoting LovemyQ:

You have not even been with the boyfriend for one year yet, and have no plans to get married. Why would you put boyfriend on the birth certificate? Or have him adopt your son? So far, no one has long term actions to stay together. What happens when you break up 6 months down the line? Sure, you may go the distance, but if no one is even getting married, where is the proof? Sounds like you are trying to solidify your relationship by using the kids.

And wifeynmommie80 has it right.



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