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I'm so sick of my 7 yr old son lying to me. What to do??

Posted by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 2:37 PM
  • 26 Replies


My son, Alex, is my oldest so this is all new to me. Honestly, I didn't think that 7 year olds lie.

He doesn't lie about big things, he just seems to lie about little things.

For example a couple of months ago he took a shower and he got the inside of the shower dirty and then when I asked him about it he lied to me and told me that he didn't do. I know I didn't do it. My SO didn't do it because he knows better than to do that and if he does, he cleans it up. 

Anyways, this morning he put colored spiker hair in this morning before school and he got some on his forehead.

I asked him if he knew there was colored spiker on his forehead and he replied yes.

I asked him if he WASHED it off and he said yes.

I knew he lied. And I told him and then I asked why he lied and he said "I don't know"  So I told him that he was grounded from playing with his friends for a week on top of not being able to watch tv or play on his cell phone for a week.

So I went into the bathroom and I seen a dry washcloth hanging over the bathroom sink.

I asked him if he used it and he said yes.

WTH!! I just don't get it. If he didn't lie, then why is it when I asked him he said I don't know? why didn't he just explain to me that he tried to wash it off with a washcloth but didn't use water??

I just don't understand.

I swear my son's favorite saying is, "I don't know."

he says it for everything.

How do i teach him to communciate with me?

How do i get it through to him that telling me i don't know doesn't solve anything?

i keep telling him not to tell me i don't know and both my SO and I have explained to him when the apprepriate time to use i don't know and when it's not.

i just don't know how to get through to him.

I feel bad now because he didn't lie but he did lie. because he didn't WASH his forehead because the cloth was dry so he WIPED his forehead.

i just don't know what to do anymore.

he is lying to the point where i feel that i can't trust him.

little lies turn into big lies.

a couple of months ago he went to his fathers house and took his half sisters toy cell phone without asking and then lied about it.

WHAT DO I DO???? I need help!!

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by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 2:37 PM
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Replies (1-10):
sabriniamarie
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 3:00 PM

My son is 6 and he is the same way, he lies about everything and its always little things, I have no advice for you but your not alone. I have taken things away and punished im but sometimes it seems to not matter. Good luck

goddess99
by Michelle on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:10 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh the lying phase that never seems to end. Been there, hell still there. When I catch my dd in lies, she loses things: computer, minutes off her bedtime. Sometimes it works but not always. I'd love to read what others have tried.

goddess99
by Michelle on Feb. 4, 2013 at 5:10 PM

maybe I should add my dd is 10.

Quoting goddess99:

Oh the lying phase that never seems to end. Been there, hell still there. When I catch my dd in lies, she loses things: computer, minutes off her bedtime. Sometimes it works but not always. I'd love to read what others have tried.


Kellyjude1
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 7:42 PM
1 mom liked this

 My son is 7 and I have also caught in him in little lies.  We did talk about it and I told him that it is not nice to lie.  Telling the truth is best.  I think it is a phase they do go through, however I would also be a little concerned.  My son will now tell the truth but he knows if he tells the truth he will not get punished.  Your son may be lying to avoid punishment.  He may be saying the "I don't know" to protect himself not really wanting to lie but also not wanting to face the punishment.  If you can sit down and explain to him the importance of telling the truth.  Show him the dry wash cloth and explain to him if he washed his forehead then the wash cloth would be wet.  Give him praise when he does tell the truth.  Let him know no matter what he will not get in trouble as long as he tells the truth.  I think that is most important.

vinalex0581
by on Feb. 4, 2013 at 8:20 PM

ok well here's another question if he did something wrong and then he admits to it, then why reward him because he did something wrong?

i can understand rewarding him for telling the truth by then he needs to be disciplined for doing wrong, right?

Quoting Kellyjude1:

 My son is 7 and I have also caught in him in little lies.  We did talk about it and I told him that it is not nice to lie.  Telling the truth is best.  I think it is a phase they do go through, however I would also be a little concerned.  My son will now tell the truth but he knows if he tells the truth he will not get punished.  Your son may be lying to avoid punishment.  He may be saying the "I don't know" to protect himself not really wanting to lie but also not wanting to face the punishment.  If you can sit down and explain to him the importance of telling the truth.  Show him the dry wash cloth and explain to him if he washed his forehead then the wash cloth would be wet.  Give him praise when he does tell the truth.  Let him know no matter what he will not get in trouble as long as he tells the truth.  I think that is most important.


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Kellyjude1
by Member on Feb. 4, 2013 at 8:33 PM

 Depending on exaclty what he did that was so wrong.  I  tell my son you won't get in trouble as long as you tell me the truth.  I don't want him to be afraid of telling me the truth. I can understand where you are coming from however I think the importance is first to get the truth.  Always going right to punishment might be easier for him just to lie or maybe say I don't know to cover up or avoid the punishment.   

la_bella_vita
by Silver Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:55 PM
1 mom liked this

 My DD had a lying phase at age 4. We started rewarding her for telling the truth. We would say if we found out your lying x will happen but if you tell the truth x will happen and the truth punishment is less severe. My DD is 6 now and tells the truth even when it will get her in trouble. We always say thank you for the telling the truth even if we are angry and then explain why we are angry about her actions.

vinalex0581
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 1:56 PM

well i thought us, as parents, are responsible for preparing our kids for the real world.

what if you do something wrong at work and admit to it? you think the boss is going to be happy about it? no, of course not.

as a matter of fact there's a chance of you getting fired because of it.

what is that teaching our kids then?

that if you tell the truth your going to get punished anyways?

Quoting Kellyjude1:

 Depending on exaclty what he did that was so wrong.  I  tell my son you won't get in trouble as long as you tell me the truth.  I don't want him to be afraid of telling me the truth. I can understand where you are coming from however I think the importance is first to get the truth.  Always going right to punishment might be easier for him just to lie or maybe say I don't know to cover up or avoid the punishment.   


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Kellyjude1
by Member on Feb. 5, 2013 at 7:32 PM

 Like I stated before it depends on the circumstances if my son lies and needs to be punished for it.  Every parent disciplines differently. My son is only 7 and thank God so far he has not lied so drastically that I felt the need to punish him for it.  I simply explained to him that lies are not good and are hurtful.  My son will apologize if he lies or clean up any mess he made if he lies about it. I want my son to feel safe enough to trust and confide in me and know he does not have to fear being punished each and everytime.  So far this method has worked for us.   

SlapItHigh
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:43 PM


If you punish him for admitting it, won't you just encourage him to stick to the lie next time?  That's why most people in the "real world" never tell their boss when they lie. We have a world full of adult liars who never get punished. That's reality. You should look at the studies that have been done that show how many times an adult lies per day, lol. 

Quoting vinalex0581:

well i thought us, as parents, are responsible for preparing our kids for the real world.

what if you do something wrong at work and admit to it? you think the boss is going to be happy about it? no, of course not.

as a matter of fact there's a chance of you getting fired because of it.

what is that teaching our kids then?

that if you tell the truth your going to get punished anyways?

Quoting Kellyjude1:

 Depending on exaclty what he did that was so wrong.  I  tell my son you won't get in trouble as long as you tell me the truth.  I don't want him to be afraid of telling me the truth. I can understand where you are coming from however I think the importance is first to get the truth.  Always going right to punishment might be easier for him just to lie or maybe say I don't know to cover up or avoid the punishment.   




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