New car or Used car (AKA Am I being totally unreasonable)
My bf (25) and I (28) have twin 2 year olds. We are currently in his
spare old sedan that has 230K+ miles on it and a broken gas gauge.
Besides all that I simply, desperately need a larger vehicle. Thanks to
some good bookings last year and planning ahead I am due to get back a
decent amount from taxes. I am planning on spending a good portion of
that on a new-to-me mommy vehicle (suv or mini-van). Nothing
extravagant. Just something to house all of their stuff and is
safe/comfortable to travel long distances. He threw a fit when I
mentioned my plan. He knows I have been dreaming of the new Prius V and
can not understand why I wouldn't just take out a loan to get one
instead of "some old used gas guzzler". Well yeah I have been dreaming
of it but that's dreams are for! I know one day I will be in a position
to comfortably afford a "dream" car but right now I don't feel that is
Here's the thing, I do not like bills and do not do buy things on credit. I had identity theft in college and as a result I have no credit. I esspecially do not like bills that I do not know in advance will get paid regularly. See, neither of us is steadily employed. I am mostly a sahm living with family since before the girls were born. I also work in the film industry but jobs are not always consistent. He is in the same industry I am but on the side works various jobs in another city. Money is always tight. He would rather us trade in his car (one that was given to him by his family. not the one I am driving.), use my whole refund (he won't get back much since I am claiming the girls), and take out a loan for the difference.
says he has been talking to his family about assisting in getting the
loan. I thanked him for thinking of my desire for the dream car but
um... Call me a bitch but it really doesn't help in my mind. Actually it
kinda makes it worse. I do not want to feel like I owe his family on
top of owing the bank.
So here's my question: After all I the information have given (and I reminded him of the same details to which he responded "I have nothing to say to you"), in your honest opinion am I being unreasonable? I know as women we can be a bit stubborn but I just don't think I'm wrong on this.
*A little backstory since I know how cafemom works :) He left me for another girl before finding out I was preg so understandably there are some definite trust issues. Since then he has been back and forth with me but mostly present for the girls. That said, up until 4 months ago he has only contributed randomly to the financial aspect of parenting so I don't feel he fully understand all that goes into the expenses of raising them and I know that is partially on me. We are now back together and have been for a few months. He acknowledges his monetary shortcomings in the past but says it's entirely my fault now as I will not agree to move in with him 6 hours away. I am glad he is dedicated to rebuilding what we lost and we spend at least 2 weeks with him there a month. However, as I see it we are now working through a whole lot of issues and our relationship. Uprooting the girls from the only stable family they have known to move into a house where the parents are struggling is not healthy (not to mention the fact that the city he is in has the highest crime rate in the state) and inviting another bill into the mix will not help the situation. I could be wrong but that is what I feel.*
*Sorry for the rambling long read*