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Feel like I don't know who I am

Posted by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:47 PM
  • 16 Replies
Here's a little background on me. My hubby and I got married in 2007 and we had our son in 2009. I worked up until our son was born then took time off afterwards. Went back to work when he was almost three months old. Was at work for a month then got injured and was unable to return to work.
We moved two states away from family when our son was 7 months old due to hubby's job.
So now I've been a SAHM to our three year old. Lately I've been feeling like I've lost my sense of who I am. I'm my son's mom or my huband's wife. I just feel stuck. I love staying home with my son. But because of where we live I am unable to do anything for myself.
I just was wondering if anyone else has every been in this position. Just needed to vent.
Thanks this is my first post.
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by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 3:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
goddess99
by Michelle on Feb. 5, 2013 at 6:49 PM

Welcome to the group. We have alot of moms in the group who feel similar to how you're feeling. Hope things start looking up for you soon =)

snharden44
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:39 PM

I felt the same way for a long time, and while i still that way some days, it has helped me to get back some old hobbies.  Like, i tried horses again, but learned they are as addictive as any drug, so while my chillen is little i simply cant be around them because then im never home.  but then i went back to my books (i'm a terrible book worm) and it always gave me something to look forward too.  and then i went back to school.  and while i'm not as good at it with less time to study and what not, it's still something for me with other adults (okay yeah, most of them are still living with their parents, but we can at least have intelligent conversation).  So i don't know what you like, or liked to do, and if your not sure even what you like anymore  start looking for something.  I know its hard to find daycare and its expensive, but i bet even a morning at the sitters or something so you can be by yourself might help too.  i truly hope you feel better and can find yourself again, because you will! wishing the best!

DixieFlower
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 8:47 PM

Welcome!

mama4t
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 9:34 PM

Yes, I have felt and feel the same way.  Are you not able to do anything for yourself b/c of where you live or your injury? We moved about 3 years ago as well...in 2009 when I found out I was pregnant. We moved like 4 hours from family and friends due to hubby's job, and on top of that my husband worked insane hours!!! I was so alone while pregnant. Since then we moved closer to family but they are still too far away for a quick relief and to help out with my son..who is now 2.5.  I know some people from story times I take him to, and some neighbors but basically I am alone here because they all work. I have felt so many times like I don't know who I am, I lost so many interests and things I used to enjoy doing due to time, financial burdens, friends, etc.. Even my appetite has changed! I know that sounds weird but it has. I too LOVE and ADORE my son, he is my life but when you go from working and socializing every day to being at home with not many people to talk to or hang out with it gets hard! It just changes you, rt? He is at the age where we can go more places and he can enjoy things and hold conversations so it is getting easier and fun.

I don't know if this is what you are going through or feel but from what you are saying I understand! I will say getting out with my son to story times (every library has them and even some large book stores like Barnes and Nobles)  has helped by meeting people and talking to other moms. Sometimes community centers have activities for the little ones..like mommy and me stuff. I hope this helps..your certainly not alone.

SlapItHigh
by on Feb. 5, 2013 at 10:46 PM

Not me but wanted to offer hugs. 

luvmybug
by Amanda on Feb. 5, 2013 at 11:43 PM
Ugh. I know the feeling. *hugs*
blueeyes2000
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 8:34 AM
Thanks for the suggestions. I live in an area where we have to drive an hour to do anything. There are no daycare centers close to us. So I really don't have many options. I think part of it is because it is winter so I'm stuck in the house a lot.
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momamanda
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 8:37 AM

have you been able to find a group of friends or a moms group. I know When My oldest DD was 2 and I was pregnant with DS we moved away from family and I was going crazy until I found the MOMS CLUB. It's a International Organization. I met once a week with my dd's age group then started up My sons age group as they were babies. We mostly at eachothers houses or playgrounds. Having that outlet helped me. We also had moms night out, wehre we would get togehter for dinner or painting pottery or something for just us!

My kids are older now, I don't really have issues with the feeling of being a Wife and Mom. I did work a before My children were born a for a little while after but I hated having to balance work and home. Being a Wife and Mom is who I am, It's what I do and I am happy with that, as long as I have an outlet. Having Friends with kids your kids age helps with that. Also a supportive husband who allows you to have that outlet. Do you have a hobby or talent that you could use outside the home in some way that you can do when he is not working? 

Here is the website for Moms club and a list of thier chapters.

http://momsclub.org/links.html

blueeyes2000
by on Feb. 6, 2013 at 8:59 AM
I'll look into that website. I haven't really made any friends out here where we live. My husband is a police officer here and because of his position there's not a lot of people that want to be friends. I am working on starting a family support group for families of the police officers where we live. So hopefully other families will want to get involved. The flyers about it went in the mail yesterday.
So maybe things will change.
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Janet
by Ruby Member on Feb. 6, 2013 at 9:06 AM
Living far away from everything does make it harder. I think your right when the weather gets better you can get out and do more. Hang in there. Welcome to the group. My name. Is Janet.

Quoting blueeyes2000:

Thanks for the suggestions. I live in an area where we have to drive an hour to do anything. There are no daycare centers close to us. So I really don't have many options. I think part of it is because it is winter so I'm stuck in the house a lot.
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