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Can spanking a 7 year old really embarass the child?

Posted by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 3:03 AM
  • 32 Replies

Even if it's just the one parent and child in the room?

Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers

by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 3:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Shaybay218
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 5:15 AM

I think it teaches them to not to bad things and yes i'm sure a little embarrassed but more of hurt feelings since nobody else was around!

dreamalong
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 8:49 AM
1 mom liked this

Good question.

I think it depends on HOW you spank.  If you pull the child's pants down, after consistently teaching him/her that being undressed is a 'no-no.'  Then you are embarrassing.

I personally do NOT advocate spanking.  I have raised a child and successfully taught public school many years.  I believe there are other ways to emphasize rules and procedures.  I believe it is the parents role to teach.  ALL those who believe in spanking, say never spank in anger; every spanking I have seen has been in anger!

I believe spanking only teaches negative lessons:

1.  The stronger person gets their way.

2.  When you are angry, it is alright to hit, if you don't get caught.

3.  When I need someone to confide in, I will not go to someone who hurts me.

4.  Spanking lets me off the hook - When I break something and get spanked, I don't have to clean it up or fix it, or pay for it.

vinalex0581
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:04 AM

i started crying when i read that.

i want my son to be able to come to me for everything.  i want that bond with him.

i want him to trust me.

i honestly didn't think much of him being embarrassed until one mom was talking about how it use to embarrass her when her parents spanked her.

and the last thing i want is for my son to get embarrass.

i'm his mom, it's my job to protect him from shit like that.

i don't want that

Quoting dreamalong:

Good question.

I think it depends on HOW you spank.  If you pull the child's pants down, after consistently teaching him/her that being undressed is a 'no-no.'  Then you are embarrassing.

I personally do NOT advocate spanking.  I have raised a child and successfully taught public school many years.  I believe there are other ways to emphasize rules and procedures.  I believe it is the parents role to teach.  ALL those who believe in spanking, say never spank in anger; every spanking I have seen has been in anger!

I believe spanking only teaches negative lessons:

1.  The stronger person gets their way.

2.  When you are angry, it is alright to hit, if you don't get caught.

3.  When I need someone to confide in, I will not go to someone who hurts me.

4.  Spanking lets me off the hook - When I break something and get spanked, I don't have to clean it up or fix it, or pay for it.


Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers

audreesmama
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:07 AM
I'm sorry, I agree Hun. I don't believe spanking is positive. It's designed to humiliate the child into behaving. I don't want to do that to my kids.

Are you having issues with your son behaving? I would look at alternative methods of discipline.


Quoting vinalex0581:

i started crying when i read that.

i want my son to be able to come to me for everything.  i want that bond with him.

i want him to trust me.

i
honestly didn't think much of him being embarrassed until one mom was
talking about how it use to embarrass her when her parents spanked her.

and the last thing i want is for my son to get embarrass.

i'm his mom, it's my job to protect him from shit like that.

i don't want that

Quoting dreamalong:

Good question.

I think it depends on HOW you spank.  If you pull the child's pants down, after consistently teaching him/her that being undressed is a 'no-no.'  Then you are embarrassing.

I personally do NOT advocate spanking.  I have raised a child and successfully taught public school many years.  I believe there are other ways to emphasize rules and procedures.  I believe it is the parents role to teach.  ALL those who believe in spanking, say never spank in anger; every spanking I have seen has been in anger!

I believe spanking only teaches negative lessons:

1.  The stronger person gets their way.

2.  When you are angry, it is alright to hit, if you don't get caught.

3.  When I need someone to confide in, I will not go to someone who hurts me.

4.  Spanking lets me off the hook - When I break something and get spanked, I don't have to clean it up or fix it, or pay for it.



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reche1978
by Member on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:15 AM

I dont think theres anything wrong in spanking.  I dont really spank I pull an ear or hair but I sometimes have spanked my girls in the bottom when they misbehaved.  I dont hit them with things and I dont pull there pants down.  I use it as a last resort. 

vinalex0581
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:20 AM

yeah, i'm having issues and it's pathetic because when i seek out help in my groups, all i get is bashed and attacked.

don't get me wrong, my son is an angel compared to most 7 year olds and i'm lucky to have someone as well behaved as he.

BUT........he's still 7 years old and he still lies.

and he still jumps on the couch and our bed when we (my boyfriend and I) have told him over 200 times that he shouldn't.

and he still puts his elbows on the table while we are eating a meal together when we have told him 300 times not to. i've tried taking his favorite games away and his DS XL and that doesn't work.

my boyfriend and I have sat down with him and talked to him (100 times) about these issues and it doesn't seem to work.

so my last resort was spanking him and unfortunately it seems to help.

he'll stop doing it for a couple of months but then after not spanking him for a while (because he stopped doing the things that i've listed above) he will start doing it again.

i don't know what to do.

when i was growing up my mom taught me that she only had to tell me things once and i would listen to her or else.

i want to be able to teach my son the same thing but without spanking. especially now that i know there's a chance that it embarrasses him.

Quoting audreesmama:

I'm sorry, I agree Hun. I don't believe spanking is positive. It's designed to humiliate the child into behaving. I don't want to do that to my kids.

Are you having issues with your son behaving? I would look at alternative methods of discipline.


Quoting vinalex0581:

i started crying when i read that.

i want my son to be able to come to me for everything.  i want that bond with him.

i want him to trust me.

i
honestly didn't think much of him being embarrassed until one mom was
talking about how it use to embarrass her when her parents spanked her.

and the last thing i want is for my son to get embarrass.

i'm his mom, it's my job to protect him from shit like that.

i don't want that

Quoting dreamalong:

Good question.

I think it depends on HOW you spank.  If you pull the child's pants down, after consistently teaching him/her that being undressed is a 'no-no.'  Then you are embarrassing.

I personally do NOT advocate spanking.  I have raised a child and successfully taught public school many years.  I believe there are other ways to emphasize rules and procedures.  I believe it is the parents role to teach.  ALL those who believe in spanking, say never spank in anger; every spanking I have seen has been in anger!

I believe spanking only teaches negative lessons:

1.  The stronger person gets their way.

2.  When you are angry, it is alright to hit, if you don't get caught.

3.  When I need someone to confide in, I will not go to someone who hurts me.

4.  Spanking lets me off the hook - When I break something and get spanked, I don't have to clean it up or fix it, or pay for it.




Lilypie Breastfeeding tickers

audreesmama
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 11:26 AM
Hmm is he getting enough exercise? Is he getting enough interaction?

I had custody of my brother and when he was 7 he was insane lol. I did with him what I do with my now 4 year old--we sat down and made a list of personal responsibilities together. We talked about why each was important, things like listening the first time, no arguing, manners, respect, etc. Together we made a list of consequences for each. That way the kids knew what happened if they didn't do what they agreed to. We both signed it, signifying that we were each going to uphold our ends of the deal. We also made our chore chart this way.

It worked for my brother who has ADHD, and works with dd. It might work for you.


Quoting vinalex0581:

yeah, i'm having issues and it's pathetic because when i seek out help in my groups, all i get is bashed and attacked.

don't get me wrong, my son is an angel compared to most 7 year olds and i'm lucky to have someone as well behaved as he.

BUT........he's still 7 years old and he still lies.

and he still jumps on the couch and our bed when we (my boyfriend and I) have told him over 200 times that he shouldn't.

and he still puts his elbows on the table while we are eating a meal together when we have told him 300 times not to. i've tried taking his favorite games away and his DS XL and that doesn't work.

my boyfriend and I have sat down with him and talked to him (100 times) about these issues and it doesn't seem to work.

so my last resort was spanking him and unfortunately it seems to help.

he'll stop doing it for a couple of months but then after not spanking him for a while (because he stopped doing the things that i've listed above) he will start doing it again.

i don't know what to do.

when i was growing up my mom taught me that she only had to tell me things once and i would listen to her or else.

i want to be able to teach my son the same thing but without spanking. especially now that i know there's a chance that it embarrasses him.

Quoting audreesmama:

I'm sorry, I agree Hun. I don't believe spanking is positive. It's designed to humiliate the child into behaving. I don't want to do that to my kids.



Are you having issues with your son behaving? I would look at alternative methods of discipline.





Quoting vinalex0581:

i started crying when i read that.

i want my son to be able to come to me for everything.  i want that bond with him.

i want him to trust me.

i

honestly didn't think much of him being embarrassed until one mom was

talking about how it use to embarrass her when her parents spanked her.

and the last thing i want is for my son to get embarrass.

i'm his mom, it's my job to protect him from shit like that.

i don't want that

Quoting dreamalong:

Good question.

I think it depends on HOW you spank.  If you pull the child's pants down, after consistently teaching him/her that being undressed is a 'no-no.'  Then you are embarrassing.

I personally do NOT advocate spanking.  I have raised a child and successfully taught public school many years.  I believe there are other ways to emphasize rules and procedures.  I believe it is the parents role to teach.  ALL those who believe in spanking, say never spank in anger; every spanking I have seen has been in anger!

I believe spanking only teaches negative lessons:

1.  The stronger person gets their way.

2.  When you are angry, it is alright to hit, if you don't get caught.

3.  When I need someone to confide in, I will not go to someone who hurts me.

4.  Spanking lets me off the hook - When I break something and get spanked, I don't have to clean it up or fix it, or pay for it.






Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Sunshine2plus2
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 2:44 PM

I some how survived being spanked and still love my parents! My mom is my best friend! Embarass them yes I am sure it does!

KJH78
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:31 PM

You pull an ear or hair??? Are you for real??? I find that absolutely inappropriate. Disciplining means to teach what you doing is only instilling fear in your kids.


Quoting reche1978:

I dont think theres anything wrong in spanking.  I dont really spank I pull an ear or hair but I sometimes have spanked my girls in the bottom when they misbehaved.  I dont hit them with things and I dont pull there pants down.  I use it as a last resort. 



KJH78
by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 7:35 PM
1 mom liked this

I absolutely agree with the below quote. Spanking is no more effective than redirecting a child. Either way you have to do it multiple times. I like the Love and Logic parenting technique......parenting isn't easy but you have to find a method that you can feel good about that does not break your child's spirit, that instills a safe place with you and teaches the child right from wrong and hopefully helps them learn to make better choices on their own without it being from fear!


Quoting dreamalong:

Good question.

I think it depends on HOW you spank.  If you pull the child's pants down, after consistently teaching him/her that being undressed is a 'no-no.'  Then you are embarrassing.

I personally do NOT advocate spanking.  I have raised a child and successfully taught public school many years.  I believe there are other ways to emphasize rules and procedures.  I believe it is the parents role to teach.  ALL those who believe in spanking, say never spank in anger; every spanking I have seen has been in anger!

I believe spanking only teaches negative lessons:

1.  The stronger person gets their way.

2.  When you are angry, it is alright to hit, if you don't get caught.

3.  When I need someone to confide in, I will not go to someone who hurts me.

4.  Spanking lets me off the hook - When I break something and get spanked, I don't have to clean it up or fix it, or pay for it.



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