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My daughter has gone to the same school and been with the same children since she started school.I see on facebook all the pictures of the girls in her class getting together for birthdays,and other things. It makes me so sad that they never, never invite her. sometimes they even leave from sports to go to the outings and she is the only one left behind. It was the very same thing with my other children. My children are not mean, they dont act out. what is it? It breaks my heart, 

by on Feb. 10, 2013 at 5:20 PM
Replies (11-20):
pamelax3
by on Feb. 11, 2013 at 4:46 PM

I am so sorry! This actually has happend to my DD she is 16 now, we moved to a very small town and none of us were accepted, how long have you guys lived in the town this is happening in?

mamaslove11
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 11:25 AM

Have you tried to reach out to the other parents?

Quoting broken66:

Sad to say I have done all those things. I have hounded the school forever asking them to please help her to fit. They say it is really not a concern of the schools about her personal issues. They only concern themselves with academics. As far as hygiene and dress my daughter showers every day and dresses like other students. she is very beautiful with lovely features. She has nothing that makes her a target.She is definitely not a bully. You can tell when she is with these kids she is quiet, her head often is down and she seems like a beat puppy. Im most afraid they are ruining her self esteem.

Its sad. why dont the parents see that they are letting out one little girl, and invite her. Its makes me sad. 


SlapItHigh
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 11:36 AM

I'm very sorry.

thePBandJmom
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 11:45 AM

Maybe you could have a party at your house and invite some of the other students?

Jessandtheboys
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 12:27 PM

aww I am so sorry she is going through this. Kids can be so mean and heartless.Does she have a few close friends?

MichelleMc
by on Feb. 12, 2013 at 12:44 PM

Do you talk to the other parents? Are you involved in the events? You said your daughter hangs her head, is she very quiet? Does she interact with them or just stands back & watches & waits for them to do/invite her?

If she is really quiet, that could be causing it. If she isn't very social butterfly, that could be causing it. 

Are you a social butterfly? Are you out there & talking to the parents? Are you involved & meeting the parents? Social & talking to them? Kids learn from you. If you aren't doing it, they aren't doing it. Especially since you said it happened to your other kids. If you aren't being involved with the other parents, they might be overlooking your kid because they don't know you well, in turn not involving your kid because they don't know you. 

Have you had anything to invite the kids over? Have you had a party for a holiday or event? Birthday party? Just because? Sleep over? Can't just always be the other kids either. Those kids might all be going back & forth all the time. 

My son was just like me, social butterfly. I had a ton of friends, he in turn had a ton of friends. When he joined sports teams, he made a ton of friends. He would go with them, or they would come with us. I am sure there were kids that were "excluded" but it wouldn't have been on purpose. It would have been because I didn't know the parents ( like they wouldn't come talk with everyone or I tried to say hi and they would say hi but wouldn't talk ) or the kids were beyond shy & after being nice, they weren't social or doing/liking what my son liked. You can't force kids to play/like each other. You can make them be nice of course, but not to come over each others house. 

Maybe you could plan a party or sleep over. Get the kids together and get your daughter in a place where she feels comfortable so she might open up more. 

KRIZZ25
Report
we try to make excuses for ower kids bad behavior. when its ower fault for letting it happen in first place.we need to show them how to behave. dont make excuses ..make solutions ..
Yesterday at 9:54 PM
by Member on Feb. 12, 2013 at 12:45 PM
DONT WORRY ..AS LONG AS UR KID IS OK AND SAY ANY THING..
broken66
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 4:02 PM

Actually, are house is the hang out house for kids. It was for the older kids too. My husband and I have volunteered for all the rec programs so many kids come and hang out until practices or get rides with us to games. We are both very active. Yes, I talk to the parents and am always available to them to help if they need it with rides or a place to hang for the kids. I'm the mom that always brings treats for the kids. 

My daughter is shy during class, but she talks during sports. We have had many of the children to our house. We have invited and taken them to outings, its just not returned. I have never asked parents why because that is rather awkward. 

I think she is just not on the A list or in the little clicks.  I guess I just keep working on it. 

MichelleMc
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 4:15 PM



Quoting broken66:

Actually, are house is the hang out house for kids. It was for the older kids too. My husband and I have volunteered for all the rec programs so many kids come and hang out until practices or get rides with us to games. We are both very active. Yes, I talk to the parents and am always available to them to help if they need it with rides or a place to hang for the kids. I'm the mom that always brings treats for the kids. 

My daughter is shy during class, but she talks during sports. We have had many of the children to our house. We have invited and taken them to outings, its just not returned. I have never asked parents why because that is rather awkward. 

I think she is just not on the A list or in the little clicks.  I guess I just keep working on it. 


Now I am really confused. You say you have the hang out house, are these kids that aren't including her hanging at your house? Or is it different kids? If it is different kids, then hang with those kids & focus on doing things with those kids.

If it is the kids that aren't including her then I would for sure talk to the parents & ask why is it okay to hang at your house & not okay to invite your daughter over. That she is being left out & you are seeing it on a normal basis & you are wondering if they know what is the reason the kids are okay with her at your house but not okay with her at their house. It might be awkward but I surely would in a heartbeat have a talk while the kids were doing something else. 


chattycassie
by on Feb. 14, 2013 at 5:24 PM

 Good advise.

Quoting suetoo:

Some kids make friends easier than others. There are some skills that kids need to learn from their parents. Please have a private meeting with your kids teachers. Ask specifically for their insight into a. Is what you suspect a valid observation?, b. what can you do to help your children learn friend making skills? One necessity, no offense, is good personal hygiene and clean, peer group standard, clothes. Kindness, the art of being kind, is another. And being a bully is a growing no-no. Get a few self help books from the library, on how to raise a successful child. Good luck.

 

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