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It's Coffee Break time! Hot Topic: Are 'Cougars' the New Norm?

Welcome to Mom To Mom's Tuesday Coffee Break!

Actress Jamie-Lynn Sigler who is 31 recently announced her engagement to a 23 year old baseball player. Not only in celebrity but as a society, we are seeing more relationships where women are several years older than their significant others.

  1. Are you older than your spouse/boyfriend/fiance? If so, by how many years?
  2. Do you think older women in relationships with younger men is the new norm?
  3. When you see an obvious age difference in couples, do you wonder what they possibly have in common?
  4. Do you think there is still the double standard of it being acceptable for men to be older than women in a relationship, but still looked upon as an oddity if the woman is older?

While you share your thoughts with us be sure to let us know what you would like us to serve you!

And be sure to check out these other posts while you wait:



by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 9:08 AM
Replies (31-40):
Ali5683
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 1:04 PM

I prefer older men over younger men. I am almost 30 and date men who are in their late 30's and early 40's.

ZsMommy
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 1:18 PM

umm...I was a "cougar" before Demi n Ashton made the term (which I roll my eyes at) fashionable-since my hubby n I married prior to all their big celeb huff n puff. I'm 10 years older than my husband,we've been together 14 years,married 13. I didn't intentionally go looking for a younger guy-and believe me-He was 20 when we married-surviving his 'puppy years" had left me with extra gray hairs. But now that he's hit his 30's we're finally on the same page-heck he even apologizes for his 20's (and thanks me for not killing him or divorcing him)

NickyNawlins
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 1:20 PM

My grandma married a man 10 years younger than her and that marriage failed badly. I dont have a problem with it but from what I've seen not only with my grandmother's failed marriage but with others too they generally dont work out most of the time. 

frogbender
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 1:53 PM

Hot green tea, if you please.

Yes, I am 6 years older than my SO. I am 34, he is 28. It works very well for us, as age is really just an arbitrary number at this point and what is important to us is having the major issues in common and enjoying many of the same activities. Not when our birthdates happen to be. Though, in maturity levels, we are on the same page.

I don't think it's a "new norm". I think that society is not as strangled by stringent rules of decorum as it may have once been (but in older history, it was not uncommon for women to have younger lovers. Especially among nobility.)

One, it would have to be a very obvious age difference. Looking at my SO and me, often people guess that I am younger or that we are closer to the same age. I probably would make a small judgement on any person dating someone who was 20+ years younger than themselves. I would wonder what they really had in common or if it wasn't really a long-term commitment on someone's part.

As for the last question, I don't really have an answer for that. I avoid television, as there probably is some ridiculous reality show addressing that very subject. Which tends to influence people's opinions. Gag me. I'm probably not the best judge of society as I tend to find society repulsive.

christina259
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 1:55 PM

 

Quoting -Mommy-2-Three-:

I personally think its weird either way lol, my dad was 9 yrs older then my mom & it seemed like too much IMO, I think there is a certain amount of maturity with age & experience & I could date someone who was like barely out of diapers when i graduated high school. I dont mind other people doing it, to each their own, it just isn't for me lol. Me & DH are 3 yrs apart & that to me is normal. Sometimes maturity wise I feel like I should have married a 40 yr old but it'd be weird LOL.

To each their own ladies ;)

My thoughts exactly. mens maturity levels seem to lag behind womens maturity levels and that drives me nuts already. I think dating a male in their early twenties is pretty much like dating a teenager.  Have you seen most twenty something guys these days? They're not adults by a long shot. I went through the immaturity/ a5%$$%^  thing when my dh hubby was younger. He is way better now. I seriously think a lot of our issues were due to immaturity. He's matured and changed and I wouldn't want to do that over again if you paid me. I suppose not all twenty somethings are the same. maybe some are more mature than others but I haven't personally seen one yet. I want a grown fully mature man. ;)

parentalrights1
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 2:30 PM

I don't care what other people do with their genitals as long as it doesn't involve me.

parentalrights1
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 2:34 PM

My spouse is older than me by 6 years

I don't really notice. I don't really ever see really significant age differences, but I see nothing wrong with it. They're adults.

I think anyone would if it was a really old person with a really young person. People tend to wonder if money is involved, but I doubt many old people are so naive as to not know if they're being used for their money, so it's probably a choice if that's the case.

There's still tons of double standards that men can get away with that women can't. Some people don't even want to change it, but it can and I think it will. Women tend to want to have something to feel better about themselves than others, so they tend to perpetuate double standards, but slowly, more women grow tired of the bull and make changes. I don't think this particular thing is SO odd, but sometimes yes. I think it's more acceptable than it used to be, but I think when it's an older man with a young women, people assume gold digger, but when it's an older woman with a younger man I think they just think of boy toys.

Janet
by Ruby Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 2:36 PM
My husband is older than I. But I think it's about time older women get the younger guys instead of the other way around.
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goodmama85
by Member on Feb. 19, 2013 at 2:49 PM
I'll have a peppermint mocha please!! I'm not that old lol I'll be 28 on the 28th of this month and I can't date no guy younger then or my same age I love older men.my 8 month old dd's dad who I just split up with after 6 yrs is 55 yrs old lol
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thecoffeefairy
by on Feb. 19, 2013 at 2:55 PM
Are you older than your spouse/boyfriend/fiance? If so, by how many years? No, I'm 7 years younger.

Do you think older women in relationships with younger men is the new norm? Yes I do

When you see an obvious age difference in couples, do you wonder what they possibly have in common? sometimes. If I see them engaged with each other, no. If one of them looks like they are bored and the other half senile, yes.
Do you think there is still the double standard of it being acceptable for men to be older than women in a relationship, but still looked upon as an oddity if the woman is older? Yes! It's also silly! Women peak sexually in their 30's. men peak much younger. That's more compatible than an 80 yr old man and a 20 something woman... Cough Hugh Heffner cough cough
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