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A married man

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 1:20 PM
  • 34 Replies
I have recently separated from my daughters father. Court proceedings and all. After all the heartache and drama involved I believed I owed it to myself to have a little fun. I am a full time hands on mommy and I do everything with and for my child. So I believed on every other weekend that her father has her I should have a little fun. Up until recently the opportunity did not present itself. One afternoon on my way home from work I met a cop. He was good looking, charming, funny and did I mention good looking. As we exchanged information I casually asked what his story was (I am completely not aware of this exchange process due to the fact that I was with my daughters father for 5 years and was extremely loyal. It was my ex that cheated and told his many girlfriends that my daughter and I died in a car accident) any kids are you married followed by a laugh. 2 kids and going through a divorce. Suddenly I wasn't laughing. He sent me a text later that day. He was hilarious and really interesting. He explained his situation to me. He in fact was still married, has been sleeping on the couch for a year. Has asked for a divorce many times and was told it would not be granted. If he chose to start the proceedings she would make him miserable and would tell the court he suffered from pdst (he served our county and was at war 4 times as a marine) being that he was so honest with me I accepted the challenge. It would just be sex. No feelings, no questions nothing. Just sex. Although the guilt did set in that I would be sleeping with a married man and its totally unlike me to do such a thing. Beyond all that I believed I owed it to myself to be selfish. To for once do something just for me. The first few times were amazing. Fulfilling sex great conversation the works! Fire works! It has now been a month and nothing is going as planned. We are falling in love and the passion is amazing. He wants to meet my daughter and wants me to meet his kids. He in fact has said he is leaving his wife and wants to have a family. Me him my daughter and his 2. The sex is amazing and feel like he's my best friend. And now the true guilt has set in. This was not the plan! Affair aside he's a good man with strong morals and an amazing father. Please be kind but honest in your comments. I do need some insight on all of this though.
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by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 1:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
alisheamonet33
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 5:26 PM

this wont be pretty, you should waited until he was divorced men will tell you anything to get in your pants i know from experience.but if you feel like its feelings beyond sex than go for it but i would wait until he is divorced especially  before you meet kids don't bring kids in a messy situation !

boshs1andonly
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 5:31 PM
6 moms liked this
You can't say a man who is having an affair had good morals that's contradictory. His situation with his wife and why he isn't divorced is irrelevant. The fact is he isn't, so you're both in the wrong. If he really wanted to move on he would have called her bluff, filed anyway and gone from there. Having a bitch for a wife (according to him) isn't a free pass to cheat.
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boshs1andonly
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 5:32 PM
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All that aside I suggest ending it. Tell him to come back when he's legally free. Don't drag your kids into that mess, a married bf then a messy divorce.
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momma8286
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 6:09 PM
2 moms liked this

I really don't think you should be having an affiar with a married man. first, my ex husband cheated on me w/ a female and he told her we was getting a diorve as well. so do you really believe that he is telling the truth because in any state either the husband or the wife can file for diorvce. Sorry to tell you he is just using you for you know what. 

goddess99
by Michelle on Mar. 4, 2013 at 6:23 PM

I would ask him to file divorce papers and if he didn't I would leave.

MilkLover0203
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 6:33 PM
From personal experience, I know how hard it is to go through a divorce. It sounds like you're going through a whopper of a one. Hot cop aside, I'd say keep it casual until you've found yourself again and really know what you want. Seriously, there's a lot of hot cops out there. In the end, advice is great and all these comments might give you some comfort or frustration, either way, you'll end up doing what you want anyway.
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MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Mar. 4, 2013 at 6:34 PM

I would ask him to file for divorce and when he does that then proceed with the relationship. I wouldn't have him meet your kids or vice versa until all that is over with.

MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on Mar. 4, 2013 at 6:34 PM

Good Luck though.

connie45
by Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 8:49 PM
1 mom liked this
He is lying to you and you,are lying to yourself.
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Basherte
by Bronze Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 8:20 AM

I would tell him that you two need to chill until the divorce is final. 

I was techinically cheating on my husband while I was with my boyfriend (now husband) we were going through a divorce at the time. I had moved out of our house and into my brother's house (what used to be our parent's house) when this started, though. So I don't consider it cheating.

Just be careful. He could be lying to you and could possibly have no intention of leaving his wife. I would find out for sure before you let him meet your child.


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