Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom to Mom Mom to Mom

How often should a couple "argue"? PLEASE HELP!!

Posted by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:25 PM
  • 20 Replies

Is it normal to get in a heated argument with your husband/significant other about once or twice a week?  I know sometimes it's good to vent, but is it normal to get into an argument so bad that you don't want to be around the other person?  Any advice would help!! And also, how can two people who are both hot headed stay calm in those situations?  I can't seem to calm down quite as fast as other people no matter what I try to do.

by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:25 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
MJP76
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:31 PM
2 moms liked this

No. It's not normal or healthy. I can literally count on one hand the heated arguments we have has in 17 years.

sweetmomma326
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:34 PM


How in the world do you keep them from happening :(? We are getting married next month and we are on the verge of calling it quits.  We both have short tempers and explode because of all the stress we have right now. 

Quoting MJP76:

No. It's not normal or healthy. I can literally count on one hand the heated arguments we have has in 17 years.



AleaKat
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:34 PM
I'd have to say no.

We argue about once a month maybe and "heated" argument about once a year.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MJP76
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 2:41 PM
1 mom liked this


Well for starters I got with someone that I had a lot in common with. Before getting together and stating a family we had lengthy discussions on our belief systems revolving around just about everything in life. We agree on damn near everything and we just gel really well together. I mostly wear the pants in the family, and it was important to me before we stared a family that he wasn't going to clash with that. If I need to vent about something, he knows I just need my space (I do have a temper) but he just sits back and chills and lets me "vent" and then once I've calmed down we discuss it like adults. I warned him of this going it, that it was important to me that he was/is my rock. If we disagree with each other about something (which is rare) we just discuss it like adults.

Quoting sweetmomma326:


How in the world do you keep them from happening :(? We are getting married next month and we are on the verge of calling it quits.  We both have short tempers and explode because of all the stress we have right now. 

Quoting MJP76:

No. It's not normal or healthy. I can literally count on one hand the heated arguments we have has in 17 years.





Janet
by Ruby Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 4:40 PM
No its not. I wouldn't get married if I were you.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
boshs1andonly
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 4:43 PM
No that's not normal. Yes dh and I have fought like that but not on a regular basis you should reconsider how you're communicating with each other, something clearly isn't working. Also if things start to escalate agree to walk away and come back later. Arguing and fighting won't solve anything if you're too angry to deal with the real issue
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Knightquester
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 4:58 PM

For my husband and I it's not normal.  My husband and I rarely if ever disagree much less argue, and I would have to say it's extremely rare for either of us to get in a yelling "heated" fight, maybe a few times in our 13 years of marriage.

When we have disagreed or fought we separate into separate parts of the house when we realize we're raising our voices higher and getting angry with each other.  We do this until we're both calmed down more, and then we talk things through.  Another thing to do is to realize no matter how mad you are at your spouse, you still love them and remind yourself of why, reminding yourself of this fact often helps you cope with the disagreement at hand.

I have noticed listening, respecting, and not just being the person giving or taking all the time, but also making compromises will often keep disagreements and fights from happening.

I will say this much, my husband and I are best friends to each other.  We spend a lot of our free time together doing something as a couple nearly every single evening.  I think the more bonding time a couple has, the closer they become and the less they fight or disagree because they've spent enough time with their partner to be able to read and predict their reactions and responses well.

baileymarie723
by Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 8:31 AM
1 mom liked this
If I knew that I didn't post this I would have thought I was reading about myself, lol. I have no advice because I have the same question. Your post is DH & I to the letter minus the part that you are getting married and we already are married.
Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Daisypath Anniversary tickers

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
Pammi86
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 10:19 AM

That often can not be healthy. My dh and I disagree a lot of times in a week but a big fight happens only every few ,onths or so but we always work it out soon after.

Coffee247Needed
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 10:52 AM
No, not normal. My husband and I have been married three years and have had disagreements but rarely heated arguements. And at that they only last 5-10minutes. You and your husband should read "love and respect" its a little religious so if u are great if not then just use the concepts given. They work wonders towards helping to communicate better.
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN