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My ten year old told me she thinks she might like girls...is it too young?

Posted by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 8:46 PM
  • 27 Replies

I guess some kids have been calling everyone gay at school and my 10 year old has been really bothered by it. She knows what gay and lesbian is and she knows that we don't judge people who are, but at school these kids are being hateful when they say "gay." When we were talking about it I told her to just ignore the kids and not let it bother her. She said it really really upsets her and I asked why and she said because she thinks she might like girls that way.

I went with a gut response which was "You're ten, you have a lot of time to figure that out." She was quiet for a little bit and asked if I would still love her if she was gay and I assured her that I would always love her no matter what.

This isn't the first time she's said something like this, but I've always thought she was just so young that she couldn't possibly know that about herself. But is it? What do you think? Is 10 years old too young to know your sexuality?

by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 8:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MJP76
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:01 PM

No. I don't think so. I knew something was "off" with me when I was 8. I didn't know what to call it because back then stuff like that just wasn't talked about. Now that people are more open with discussions these days, I just think it enables children to put a name with their feelings.

MamaSnaps
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:47 PM
1 mom liked this

I'd talk with her about it, but let her know it's too young to really worry about it and if that's how things turn out? That's how things turn out. 

I think it's more of the fear of her disappointing you. These things are invading kids worlds younger and younger every day. At her age she doesn't have the ability to navigate through the very adult implications and you guys are still very much her world. Losing your love would be devastating. She's heard something of the sort and it's concerning her. 

I'd probably take the opportunity to talk about something like if that's the case then it's a good thing to really take your time and be sure of yourself on the inside before experimenting, you don't want to do something that you'll regret in your heart for a long time by trying to be straight or trying to figure yourself out. So, take your time, grow into yourself and let your mind and body mature into whatever it is going to be. It doesn't matter if it's gay, straight or bisexual we love you because you're our daughter. Sexual orientation doesn't change that!

goddess99
by Michelle on Mar. 23, 2013 at 10:44 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think she's too young. I would just be supportive and listen when she wants to talk.

MarriedYoung
by Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 10:48 PM
No.kids have little boyfriends and girlfriends by that age and major crushes, it is totally possible she could be figuring out that she is gay.
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MamaMoopsie
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 11:16 PM
2 moms liked this

 Thank you. I am bisexual, and before my husband hadn't dated men for several years, but I didn't figure it out for myself until I was 15.

Above all, though, I want her to know that our love for her will never change.


Quoting MJP76:

No. I don't think so. I knew something was "off" with me when I was 8. I didn't know what to call it because back then stuff like that just wasn't talked about. Now that people are more open with discussions these days, I just think it enables children to put a name with their feelings.


 

MamaMoopsie
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 11:20 PM
1 mom liked this

 I did touch on the fact that she doesn't have to decide if she's a lesbian or bisexual right now. She has years to discover who she is and that above all else her father and I would always love her and we could care less if she liked boys, girls, people of different ethnicities, etc. All we care about is her happiness.


Quoting MamaSnaps:

I'd talk with her about it, but let her know it's too young to really worry about it and if that's how things turn out? That's how things turn out. 

I think it's more of the fear of her disappointing you. These things are invading kids worlds younger and younger every day. At her age she doesn't have the ability to navigate through the very adult implications and you guys are still very much her world. Losing your love would be devastating. She's heard something of the sort and it's concerning her. 

I'd probably take the opportunity to talk about something like if that's the case then it's a good thing to really take your time and be sure of yourself on the inside before experimenting, you don't want to do something that you'll regret in your heart for a long time by trying to be straight or trying to figure yourself out. So, take your time, grow into yourself and let your mind and body mature into whatever it is going to be. It doesn't matter if it's gay, straight or bisexual we love you because you're our daughter. Sexual orientation doesn't change that!


 

want10more
by Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:12 AM
2 moms liked this

i think it's an age where it's easy to be confused about your own sexuality. she could be just experiencing a 'girl crush'. i did when i was young, and i've never thought of myself to be anything other than just 'straight'. but hey, now she knows that you are someone she can talk to about it, that's huge! and she also knows that she will be loved and supported while figuring it out. gay or straight, she is totally accepted by her biggest fan... MOM!  but if she keeps being so troubled, why not let her talk to a counselor w/ some experience w/ young people facing sexual identity issues? maybe that would solidify in her mind that she's ok just as she is, and maybe down the road, when she knows what/who she wants, she'd be more able to feel confident and proud of her choice, whatever it may be....

erikadi
by Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 11:29 AM

No I don't think it is too young just like 10 year old straight kids have boyfriends and girlfriends. I am glad that you told her that you would love her no matter what. I think it is great that you are giving her support because that is what she needs right now.

natalieumphrey
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 12:55 PM

idk bout this one it might be a bff thing......... not sure what my reaction would be and noone would like my response i have 6 daughters 

MamaMoopsie
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:06 PM

 When I asked her if there was someone she liked she said no. So I know she's not crushing on one of her friends.

I have four daughters and ultimately it doesn't matter to me or my husband if any of them turn out to be gay. As long as they are happy. I do think she's too young to be trying to decide if she is or isn't, but I am here for her as a supporter and a safe haven.


Quoting natalieumphrey:

idk bout this one it might be a bff thing......... not sure what my reaction would be and noone would like my response i have 6 daughters 


 

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