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I Can't Do This Any More

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Poll

Question: should i leave

Options:

hell yea run

no you are a monter get over it

get over it and be a mother


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Total Votes: 26

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I have never "bonded" with my child. She is almost 3 and I kinda hate her, but I guess I should start from the begining.. I am in a bad relationship (no one in my family cares) he saw me at work and litarty said to himself "she will be my wife and bare my child" I did not really get a say in any of it. We started Dating and he started hitting me, no one beleaved me. 3 months later I was pregnant. I was 20 and missed my 21 birthday. My grandmother died and he thew a tantrum at the funaral couse a was not paying attenation to him... I hated my pregnancy, I did not want a baby but he made sure to tell everyone I was pregnent right away so i could not abort. I lost my body, went from a firm sexy curvy size 8 to a flabby gross 16 couse i was on bed rest so much and could no work out (PT have even told me the only why the "fold" is going away is with a tummy tuck) I had to quit my wonderful job to be a SAHM and breastfeed (something i had no say in) (my family and husband had more say in raising this girl then me) I have no car and was made to move to a diffent town were none of the apt nab. speak eniglish! (my husband is mexican) so I am stuck here all day in this tiny 1 bedroom underground were i sleep in the living room (ps before i met him i had a huge place $1000 month)my family showers her with beautiful clothes (designer for a 3 year old!) I own 1, 1! pair of jeans (goodwill) she has purses and toys SHE DOES NOT CARE! the one this I love (my dog) she tortures (you know what I mean hits, kicks, pinchs, pushs SITS ON) one day he is going to bite her and it will be deserved but guess who will get killed I ONE THING I LOVE. My husband is just as bad I have to do everything, clean cook take care of the kid. I cook every night but as I cook HE IS EATING! When dinner is ready he is not hungry BIG F-ING SHOCK. But if I dont cook, tantrum. I had surgary last month so i had to ask him to do stuff "whine, whine, whine" well im sorry i had SURGARY AND CANT MOVE! CAN YOU PLEASE GET YOUR KID TO STOP JUMPING ON ME! and the sex god i am so sick of this. I am not allowed to say no, and last night he proved he does not care if i am AWAKE. I want to leave I want to just get up and walk away. My famliy has proved time and again they do not care if i have a Black eye as long as i take care of the kid. I dont need clothes only my kid does. But I cant leave I have no money, no car, nothing. I dont want to go to a shelter. Last time a checked into a haspital (i have tried to kill myself over and over agian hell my husband comes home from work sees that ive taken all of my meds again and just egnores me) my mom came over and said that I was lying about the abuse, he never hit me. (she see's me once a week she just likes her blinders) thanks for reading its nice to finally get this out I dont care about anything nevaitive or spelling I just typed as fast as posible I might not even check beck so thanks for reading

by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 3:18 PM
Replies (21-30):
Kari_Noelle
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 4:08 PM

Take your baby and run!

rgba
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 4:14 PM
Are you really telling her to leave her child with an abusive man?

No, just no. OP, go to a DV shelter with your child. That is the first step. They will help you get counseling and other resources to help your child.


Quoting DazeDelights:

I'm going to be the bad person and say that you need to leave without your child. She is the prize possession of the family.



I believe you when you say you have no bond with your child. I also believe if you leave with her you will resent her more because then you will be under the stress of trying to take care of both of you. You clearly have no plan or safe haven so how will you provide for her?



If you take her the family will retaliate and you may be committed or put in jail since they are known to lie

Another thing that could not saying it would happen is that you may end up abusing her mentally or physically. Again not saying you would ever do it but with the right amount of stress anger and fear who knows?



Whatever you do or go please get help to deal woth your self hate issues. Everyone deserves to love themselves...how can we love another if we don't love ourselves?

I really hope you figure things out.

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DazeDelights
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 9:17 PM
Yes that is what I'm saying. Her dd is the prize possession of the family. He would never hurt her. He would most likely find another woman to abuse.


You don't have to like or condone my opinion.


Quoting rgba:

Are you really telling her to leave her child with an abusive man?



No, just no. OP, go to a DV shelter with your child. That is the first step. They will help you get counseling and other resources to help your child.




Quoting DazeDelights:

I'm going to be the bad person and say that you need to leave without your child. She is the prize possession of the family.





I believe you when you say you have no bond with your child. I also believe if you leave with her you will resent her more because then you will be under the stress of trying to take care of both of you. You clearly have no plan or safe haven so how will you provide for her?





If you take her the family will retaliate and you may be committed or put in jail since they are known to lie


Another thing that could not saying it would happen is that you may end up abusing her mentally or physically. Again not saying you would ever do it but with the right amount of stress anger and fear who knows?





Whatever you do or go please get help to deal woth your self hate issues. Everyone deserves to love themselves...how can we love another if we don't love ourselves?


I really hope you figure things out.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Pammi86
by Pamela on Apr. 2, 2013 at 10:43 AM

I would leave and take her with you.

kellgirl426
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 12:55 AM

There is definite help out there for you, you just have to get up, get strong and go!!!! It is not that babys fault and you resent her because of the circumstances. You definately need therapy, and some kimd  of support system(groups for abused women) ...but first things first just grab what u can AND THAT INNOCENT BABY...and go to shelter...one step at a time!!! where are you lving? private message me if u read this?

Dakota6311
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 9:24 AM

That is so unbelievable. U should defenitly get out of that relationship. U deserve way better. Its too . bad how u feel about ur daughter tho. I think if u were to get out w ur girl u would feel differently about ur her

mdawn028
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 1:55 PM
I am so so so so sorry u are going through this. I am at a loss for words. Only thing I can say is your baby does need u. Killing yourself is not a solution.U are a mom you sound like a sweet person. Don't hurt yourself God does love u I have tried the same thing to try and kill myself before definitely not worth it. U are to important to do that. It is sad u resent your baby. I think you are not really angry at your baby but with your husband and mom for treating u this way. I went through a lot of things and prayed about them God does help. Don't give up hope u have a reason to be severely depressed. I am on Med. For my depression I am on Wellbutrin. It helps me but sweety with your situation I don't know if it would u or not. U need a safe place for u and your baby that is for sure. Eventually he may try to hurt your baby too not only u. My dad was very abusive to my mom and me when I was a child my mom divorced him when I was 11. He is a totally different person now with his new family. He didn't black my eyes or anythinglike that. He would come home from work and hit me with the belt spanking me on my bottom even when I didn't do any thing I would try to hide that didn't help mom would yell at him to quit he wouldn't it hurt pretty bad finally once his rage was over he would quit and go in another room. He was a very abusive alcoholic to my mom he hurt her worse than me. I am closer to mom than my dad. The funny thing is I still love him even though and I have seen people can change only if they want to. If u had a church or friends house u and your baby could go to to help u that would be good. The police haven't did anything? U need somewhere for u and your baby to hide away from him. U don't have a close friend? Or any other family members? I will pray for u . If u and your baby don't get out and get help next time he might end up killing u or your child and that would be horrible. If u need a friend to talk to I am here for u. Sincerely, Dawns
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mdawn028
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 1:55 PM
I meant to put Dawna
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
chattycassie
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 3:14 PM

 Leave and run as fast as you can, please take your daughter she will only be subjugated to this abuse if you are not around.

webberley12
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 5:41 PM

You are in such a scrunched up situation, and I just want to say I am sorry for that. I have experience with an abusive controling relationship. It seems that there were so many points that you should of left, I am a firm believer in making it work but you were pushed so far past what should of been your breaking point but you sucked it up, which takes a lot. Maybe you should weigh the pro's and con's of divorce. If your current hubby is a good dad, consider keeping your lil one for half the time. It's obvious you being abused in front of your daughter isn't good for you or her. And deep down you do love her and want best for her, but resentment is understandable in your situation. I know your mom doesn't believe you about abuse but maybe if you were firm in leaving him she would at least let you stay at her house till you get up on your feet. Remember, things never get better if everything stays the same. Dig down deep and finally do something for youself! You can do it :)

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