Advertisement
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Am I really a BAD mom???

Posted by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 3:15 AM
  • 71 Replies

Recently my aunt came to visit and she told me i was a bad mom. About 2 yrs ago i started school full time and worked full time i didnt really have a lot of time for my daughter and her dad had moved out and didnt want to help so she became attached to my mom and dad, now that im done with school she still goes to her grandparents, mainly because they never say no to her. This month when my aunt visited she said i was a bad mom because i dont play with my daughter as much, because i like to go out once a week with a friend after she goes to sleep, because i dont cook, and because my daughter is too attached to my parents in her opinion. Does this really make me a "bad" mom??? FYI she isnt married and has no kids, in my opinion she has no right to judge.

by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 3:15 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
2monstersmommy
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 11:03 AM

Why don't you cook? what do you eat?

MJP76
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 11:50 AM
8 moms liked this

Honestly? Not to be rude but...

You're not going to be up for any mother of the year awards. It doesn't make you the worse parent in the world, but not the best either.  I mean when you decide to have children they come before all else. Your life should be set aside do a degree for your children. I get the need to work, or even to complete your education, but every spare second you get should be with your child. That is not your parents child. That is your child.

LAXmom21
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 11:56 AM
No you're not. I went to school full time, am worked almost full time. My kids were either with my mom or my DH. I didn't cook because my mom didn't work and she liked to cook and her and my dad didn't like eating alone. My DH worked 6 days a week. I got a better job, and was then able to spend more time with my kids. We're all ok and have good relationships. they are now older teens.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MamaSnaps
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:05 PM
4 moms liked this

We really can't judge your life from what you tell us. Your aunt sees far more than what you tell us. Honestly? It sounds like your daughter is more theirs than yours and all you are is the part time caretaker. Well, not sure I can even say caretaker if you aren't cooking for her either.  Going out once a week is fine, but you have to make up for it with other things like playing and caring for her. Doesn't it bother you that she's that attached to them over you? 

I gotta tell you and I am really not being mean, but usually when I see a duck lip profile picture like yours it's on one of the party girls. Combine that with what you have to say here? I gotta say it sounds about right. And the duck lips aren't flattering. You have a beautiful shape to your face and mouth. You don't need to look like you are puckering up to kiss the Easter Bunny or to chew a wad of bubble yum.  

Just because someone isn't married and has no children doesn't mean that they haven't seen good or bad parents and that they can't tell the difference. I've never been a doctor but I can certainly tell the difference between a good and a bad one. 

D_fluff
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 1:44 PM


Quoting 2monstersmommy:

Why don't you cook? what do you eat?

It's just me and my daugter and my parents, my mom works 12hrs shes never home and my dad doesnt really eat because of his illness, im barely home during the day and my daughter is in school, when she gets out shes ok with mac n cheese a sandwich or we go to my bff's house and we eat there, and weekends we're always doing something so we eat out or get together with my bff and make something small for the kids. i dont sit at home and make breakfast, lunch, and dinner when i know its going to go to waste.

D_fluff
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 2:19 PM


Quoting MamaSnaps:

We really can't judge your life from what you tell us. Your aunt sees far more than what you tell us. Honestly? It sounds like your daughter is more theirs than yours and all you are is the part time caretaker. Well, not sure I can even say caretaker if you aren't cooking for her either.  Going out once a week is fine, but you have to make up for it with other things like playing and caring for her. Doesn't it bother you that she's that attached to them over you? 

I gotta tell you and I am really not being mean, but usually when I see a duck lip profile picture like yours it's on one of the party girls. Combine that with what you have to say here? I gotta say it sounds about right. And the duck lips aren't flattering. You have a beautiful shape to your face and mouth. You don't need to look like you are puckering up to kiss the Easter Bunny or to chew a wad of bubble yum.  

Just because someone isn't married and has no children doesn't mean that they haven't seen good or bad parents and that they can't tell the difference. I've never been a doctor but I can certainly tell the difference between a good and a bad one. 

I've been very lucky to have my parents help me as much as they have. It used to bother me that she was very attached to them but not anymore, my parents were there when she was born and they saw what kind of father she had so i get why they helped more than what a normal grandparent would. I'm not saying i let her starve, if shes hungry and we're home ill make her something, but i dont make a big lunch or dinner for the 2 of us. Financially my parents take care of her, my bf helps when he can but he's not her father, i do spend as much time with her as i can. I'm not a party girl, i go out on a friday or saturday night with a friend and have a few drinks, by the time i leave my daughter is already asleep or shes ready for bed. She just thinks that because i dont slave over a stove everyday, play with her all the time, and because I'm hard on her that im not a good mom.

huntersmama711
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 6:05 PM
2 moms liked this
If you work why don't you support her financially? Why would your parents be the ones doing that? I'm sorry but it sounds like you play more of a big sister role instead of a mom role.

Quoting D_fluff:


Quoting MamaSnaps:

We really can't judge your life from what you tell us. Your aunt sees far more than what you tell us. Honestly? It sounds like your daughter is more theirs than yours and all you are is the part time caretaker. Well, not sure I can even say caretaker if you aren't cooking for her either.  Going out once a week is fine, but you have to make up for it with other things like playing and caring for her. Doesn't it bother you that she's that attached to them over you? 

I gotta tell you and I am really not being mean, but usually when I see a duck lip profile picture like yours it's on one of the party girls. Combine that with what you have to say here? I gotta say it sounds about right. And the duck lips aren't flattering. You have a beautiful shape to your face and mouth. You don't need to look like you are puckering up to kiss the Easter Bunny or to chew a wad of bubble yum.  

Just because someone isn't married and has no children doesn't mean that they haven't seen good or bad parents and that they can't tell the difference. I've never been a doctor but I can certainly tell the difference between a good and a bad one. 

I've been very lucky to have my parents help me as much as they have. It used to bother me that she was very attached to them but not anymore, my parents were there when she was born and they saw what kind of father she had so i get why they helped more than what a normal grandparent would. I'm not saying i let her starve, if shes hungry and we're home ill make her something, but i dont make a big lunch or dinner for the 2 of us. Financially my parents take care of her, my bf helps when he can but he's not her father, i do spend as much time with her as i can. I'm not a party girl, i go out on a friday or saturday night with a friend and have a few drinks, by the time i leave my daughter is already asleep or shes ready for bed. She just thinks that because i dont slave over a stove everyday, play with her all the time, and because I'm hard on her that im not a good mom.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
huntersmama711
by Bronze Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 6:06 PM
Wait, do you live on your own or with your parents? I'm confused by the op and this reply

Quoting D_fluff:


Quoting 2monstersmommy:

Why don't you cook? what do you eat?

It's just me and my daugter and my parents, my mom works 12hrs shes never home and my dad doesnt really eat because of his illness, im barely home during the day and my daughter is in school, when she gets out shes ok with mac n cheese a sandwich or we go to my bff's house and we eat there, and weekends we're always doing something so we eat out or get together with my bff and make something small for the kids. i dont sit at home and make breakfast, lunch, and dinner when i know its going to go to waste.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
D_fluff
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 6:51 PM
I live with my parents.

Quoting huntersmama711:

Wait, do you live on your own or with your parents? I'm confused by the op and this reply



Quoting D_fluff:


Quoting 2monstersmommy:

Why don't you cook? what do you eat?

It's just me and my daugter and my parents, my mom works 12hrs shes never home and my dad doesnt really eat because of his illness, im barely home during the day and my daughter is in school, when she gets out shes ok with mac n cheese a sandwich or we go to my bff's house and we eat there, and weekends we're always doing something so we eat out or get together with my bff and make something small for the kids. i dont sit at home and make breakfast, lunch, and dinner when i know its going to go to waste.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
D_fluff
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 6:54 PM
I don't work anymore. They take care of her needs as far as clothing and shoes until I get my license and start working again.

Quoting huntersmama711:

If you work why don't you support her financially? Why would your parents be the ones doing that? I'm sorry but it sounds like you play more of a big sister role instead of a mom role.



Quoting D_fluff:


Quoting MamaSnaps:

We really can't judge your life from what you tell us. Your aunt sees far more than what you tell us. Honestly? It sounds like your daughter is more theirs than yours and all you are is the part time caretaker. Well, not sure I can even say caretaker if you aren't cooking for her either.  Going out once a week is fine, but you have to make up for it with other things like playing and caring for her. Doesn't it bother you that she's that attached to them over you? 

I gotta tell you and I am really not being mean, but usually when I see a duck lip profile picture like yours it's on one of the party girls. Combine that with what you have to say here? I gotta say it sounds about right. And the duck lips aren't flattering. You have a beautiful shape to your face and mouth. You don't need to look like you are puckering up to kiss the Easter Bunny or to chew a wad of bubble yum.  

Just because someone isn't married and has no children doesn't mean that they haven't seen good or bad parents and that they can't tell the difference. I've never been a doctor but I can certainly tell the difference between a good and a bad one. 

I've been very lucky to have my parents help me as much as they have. It used to bother me that she was very attached to them but not anymore, my parents were there when she was born and they saw what kind of father she had so i get why they helped more than what a normal grandparent would. I'm not saying i let her starve, if shes hungry and we're home ill make her something, but i dont make a big lunch or dinner for the 2 of us. Financially my parents take care of her, my bf helps when he can but he's not her father, i do spend as much time with her as i can. I'm not a party girl, i go out on a friday or saturday night with a friend and have a few drinks, by the time i leave my daughter is already asleep or shes ready for bed. She just thinks that because i dont slave over a stove everyday, play with her all the time, and because I'm hard on her that im not a good mom.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)