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Knowing what you are getting into as a parent?

Posted by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:38 AM
  • 10 Replies

I wonder if people, when they are actually planning for a family, do research or let it all come naturally. I think I am a research fanatic, lol. Then there are all these sites that offer info and advice as well, which I have always thought was pretty neat. I have a very small fam, so it helps to do my research. I planned for a year prior to DDs arrival.

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by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:38 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MichelleMc
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 9:24 AM

I think for every site for one way, there is another for the other way. Research is like that. For every doctor that says this way is the way to do things, there is another that says that way isn't the way. Plus one year some believe this & then new research says that is all wrong. Baby on the back, the front, the side when sleeping, has changed non stop. 

I am going to do things the way I believe & want to do things. From either living it or seeing it or believing. I like more information from older people, than research. Some things maybe, but I wouldn't just sit & research out before I would have had my son & how I was going to do things with him or raise him. 

There are a lot of pro only research, but there is some anti only believers ( no real research that I have heard of though I wouldn't really look LOL ), but if I would have researched it all out. I might have not have had one. When I know the truth that onlies are great & exactly perfect for my family.

DeLaLi
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 10:06 AM

I do not research everything. I would not want to. I just like to look things up and come on these forums because I never had exp with a child. It was so hard the first few months of DDs life for me. At the end of the day I, too, do what I think is best. Come to think of it, I do not even follow what my mom and grandmother say most of the time, lol. I kind of look things up and see what the majority is doing and choose what I will do from there. 

Quoting MichelleMc:

I think for every site for one way, there is another for the other way. Research is like that. For every doctor that says this way is the way to do things, there is another that says that way isn't the way. Plus one year some believe this & then new research says that is all wrong. Baby on the back, the front, the side when sleeping, has changed non stop. 

I am going to do things the way I believe & want to do things. From either living it or seeing it or believing. I like more information from older people, than research. Some things maybe, but I wouldn't just sit & research out before I would have had my son & how I was going to do things with him or raise him. 

There are a lot of pro only research, but there is some anti only believers ( no real research that I have heard of though I wouldn't really look LOL ), but if I would have researched it all out. I might have not have had one. When I know the truth that onlies are great & exactly perfect for my family.


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MJP76
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 11:55 AM

All of my children were planned. We made sure we were financially sound or at least on the way before having children. When I had my first child a bazillion years ago (he's 19) there wasn't really Internet at everyone's fingertips. It was trial by error, advice from elders, or doctors. With the other two, I pretty much knew what I was doing.

MamaSnaps
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:10 PM

Well, you can't plan for EVERYTHING, but the overall life plan you can try to. But then life is what happes while you are busy making plans. 

My first and 4th were unplanned. We didn't plan to take in two other children that aren't ours. It just happened. Those 4 are more than half of the blessings in my life. 
I can't plan for the things that happen in life, but I can have an overall plan for the future. I can plan some aspects of life. Most thigs that happen in life aren't in the plan.

For example I plan to be at camp all summer. I plan for a lot of days of cool activities and they are fun, great, wonderful. But often times a day's plans might get put off and done a different day beause something equally as awesome comes our way. I plan for sports and activities for my kids. I expect fall colds and stuff, but I can't plan them. While the sketch is there-it's got to be pretty fluid. 

goddess99
by Michelle on Mar. 31, 2013 at 3:07 PM

I'm a planner too, even though my dd was a surprise, I planned once I knew I was pregnant. Planning helped me a lot. I was a single mom and absolutely LOVED it, had no problems.

enlightened_24
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 4:50 PM

I was raised in a daycare (literally, an in-home daycare for 15 yrs) and I took childhood development classes for school and I was good to go...I thought. Now that my DS is 7 and my DD is 1 (and worse than her brother could ever be already) I am finding myself NOT prepared in the least. As I think about them getting older-teenagers-I find myself completely panicking.

KRIZZ25
by Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 5:28 PM
NO ONE IS EVER REALLY PREPARED FOR A FAMILY.. U CAN research ALL U WONT BUT EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT.ALL U CAN DO IS HOLD ON AND ENJOY THE RIDE.
Pink.Frosting
by Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:56 PM

When we had our kids, I was a very fly by the seat of my pants kind of person.  Luckily, I did have a good head on my shoulders and that method did work out for us, lol.  I don't know that now I would even do a lot of "research" but I know for certain I would do a lot more planning and have more routines set in place.

Pammi86
by Pamela on Apr. 2, 2013 at 6:21 AM

I think you can research all you want but nothing like hands on experience!

Mrsmumofboys
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 8:57 AM

Both my boys were planned & i made sure i did all my partying etc before i settled down,got married had kids etc. I don't think there's any rule book to being a parent you just have to take each day as it comes & roll with the good/bad times. I think if you have a good support network around *family,friends with experience* it all helps along the way to bringing children up or even thinking about having children. Unfrotunatly there are those that don't think about it all & have no clue what they are doing x

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