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why am i so ugly? EDIT...took some advice, new pic.

Posted by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:30 PM
  • 141 Replies

EDIT: well, i took a lot of your advice and changed things up. I switched to a more neutral eye-shadow shade, a pink gloss on my lips, more of a pink blush instead of a mauve, and only lined my top lid half way and half of my lower lid very softly. i also trimmed my hair up a bit so there is a little bit of style to it now. i am still not happy about it, i still think my face looks lopsided and i look old, but i at least i am making efforts to change it i guess. i put up a new picture at the bottom. if anyone else has any suggestions, i will gladly take them into consideration. sorry the pic quality sucks. just my crappy camera phone. i was stuck at a red light forever and figured i may as well do something. 


i dont get what happened. i have never been gorgeous by any means, but i had a period of time where i was at least "pretty". that was nearly 10 years ago, and i know i am going to go downhill as i age, but it is getting ridiculous.

I went from being average when i was just hanging out with no make-up and pretty when i was all dolled-up and trying, to being pretty un-attractive without make-up but at least average when all my make-up and everything was on...now?...i am repulsive without make-up on and average IF I AM LUCKY with all my make-up on. i think that most of the time i am still pretty ugly without make-up on and heaven forbid if anyone see me without make-up....seriously...i will go days at a time without leaving the house other than to take the kids to school becasue i feel like i am punishing people making them look at me. 

part of the problem is that i cant figure out what feature it is that is making me look so gross? i keep trying different things, but i just cant pin-point the problem! is it my eyebrows? my eye-shadow color? my eye-liner? are my lips too thin? my cleft chin? i just cant figure out what it was that has changed so drastically to make such a big difference. i am guessing that it is multiple things, but i cant figure them out. 

i need suggestions PLEASE. i know that this is likel going to get brutal and i am prepared for that. just please let the comments be constructive criticize and real advice on what you would change if you were me?

this is me at 19:

this was me today when i got home. neither photo is filtered or anything like that. i know the one from today is rough. i am very very tired from easter stuff. 

new pic taken on 4-4-13

Proud mom of an ornery 3 year old boy, a very smart 6 year old girl! Married for 4.5 years, together for 7! Fun loving, open-minded, eco-friendly, creative,friendly, different strokes work for different folks, lady! I stay at home, work at home, love it all!


by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
RockstarsMoM08
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:34 PM
4 moms liked this
Who tells you that you aren't attractive? Once you believe you're beautiful you'll really truly shine!
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preacherskid
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:38 PM
6 moms liked this

I see a great looking mother in the second picture.  Your skin is clear and even, your eyes are a wonderful color, your hair is shiny and healthy looking,I don't see an ugly person.  I see a person who has somewhere along the way been lied to and told that for some reason, she has become unattractive, either through age or motherhood.  That blue shirt is amazing with your skin tone and eye color btw.

 I would be asking what changed in you that makes you so hard on yourself, because you look great.

PerfectVirgo
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:40 PM
6 moms liked this
Are you serious or just looking for compliments?
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mom2bahandcch
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:44 PM
You are beautiful! I agree with a previous poster, has someone been trying to keep you down?
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Des10ed2b
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:52 PM


Quoting PerfectVirgo:

Are you serious or just looking for compliments?

i am dead serious. i despise the way i look with a passion. it sucks to go from what i was to the shit i am now. i used to be good looking enough that i did modeling work (that old photo is from my portfolio) and swim suit competitions. i was never good enough to win or get big name jobs, but i still had fun. now? christ. i dont even remember the last time i turned a head.

i feel guilty and avoid going out with my husband because i feel like people look at us and think, "ugh...that poor guy being stuck with THAT." and i know what you are thinking. no, my husband does not put me down in anyway. if anything, he does the opposite. he tries to tell me that he thinks i am beautiful or whatever, but i hate it when he does. it makes me VERY uncomfortable.

i feel like i am butt of some horrible joke and as soon as  i get comfortable with the idea someone is going to pop out from around some corner with a video camera shoved in my face so the world can laugh at me and how stupid i was to believe that i was pretty in anyway. 

and yes, i have a doctor and i have medication. it has just never made a difference. i have always had a lot of issues with how i look. even as a toddler. i just had that brief period of time from around the 17-19 mark that i was okay. 

Proud mom of an ornery 3 year old boy, a very smart 6 year old girl! Married for 4.5 years, together for 7! Fun loving, open-minded, eco-friendly, creative,friendly, different strokes work for different folks, lady! I stay at home, work at home, love it all!


Des10ed2b
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:55 PM


Quoting preacherskid:

I see a great looking mother in the second picture.  Your skin is clear and even, your eyes are a wonderful color, your hair is shiny and healthy looking,I don't see an ugly person.  I see a person who has somewhere along the way been lied to and told that for some reason, she has become unattractive, either through age or motherhood.  That blue shirt is amazing with your skin tone and eye color btw.

 I would be asking what changed in you that makes you so hard on yourself, because you look great.

just trust me on this one. there is no great about it. there is hardly a line waiting for porn with moms who are covered in stretch marks, cellulite, and acne and look a good 10 years older than what they are. it sucks. i just cant pin-point exactly WHAT it is that sucks so much. if there was just something i could do that would make it even a LITTLE better. some make-up trick or diet or SOMETHING i would be all over it. i hate feeling this way all the time. 


Proud mom of an ornery 3 year old boy, a very smart 6 year old girl! Married for 4.5 years, together for 7! Fun loving, open-minded, eco-friendly, creative,friendly, different strokes work for different folks, lady! I stay at home, work at home, love it all!


RockstarsMoM08
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:56 PM
1 mom liked this
Can I be your friend? I'm serious- you need a good, honest friend to boost you up and help you love YOU for you!
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PerfectVirgo
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:57 PM
That's so sad. :(

Quoting Des10ed2b:



Quoting PerfectVirgo:

Are you serious or just looking for compliments?

i am dead serious. i despise the way i look with a passion. it sucks to go from what i was to the shit i am now. i used to be good looking enough that i did modeling work (that old photo is from my portfolio) and swim suit competitions. i was never good enough to win or get big name jobs, but i still had fun. now? christ. i dont even remember the last time i turned a head.

i feel guilty and avoid going out with my husband because i feel like people look at us and think, "ugh...that poor guy being stuck with THAT." and i know what you are thinking. no, my husband does not put me down in anyway. if anything, he does the opposite. he tries to tell me that he thinks i am beautiful or whatever, but i hate it when he does. it makes me VERY uncomfortable.

i feel like i am butt of some horrible joke and as soon as  i get comfortable with the idea someone is going to pop out from around some corner with a video camera shoved in my face so the world can laugh at me and how stupid i was to believe that i was pretty in anyway. 


and yes, i have a doctor and i have medication. it has just never made a difference. i have always had a lot of issues with how i look. even as a toddler. i just had that brief period of time from around the 17-19 mark that i was okay. 

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Des10ed2b
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:58 PM


Quoting RockstarsMoM08:

Who tells you that you aren't attractive? Once you believe you're beautiful you'll really truly shine!

yeah, sorry. but i just cant buy that one. i am sure that roseanne has plenty of confidence, but i hardly see a line of people waiting to snap some photos of her! 


Proud mom of an ornery 3 year old boy, a very smart 6 year old girl! Married for 4.5 years, together for 7! Fun loving, open-minded, eco-friendly, creative,friendly, different strokes work for different folks, lady! I stay at home, work at home, love it all!


RockstarsMoM08
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 9:04 PM
1 mom liked this
What do you want to achieve with this beauty? Is it just to model or act? All of those "models" are airbrushed. Beauty is what is found inside- beauty is confidence. Beauty is self love and appreciation. I grew up unhappy and self loathing; once I found my self love my whole life changed! I wish you could see this; you have to love yourself in order to see yourself differently- if nothing else when you love your self you'll what what needs to change and what is perfect.

Quoting Des10ed2b:



Quoting RockstarsMoM08:

Who tells you that you aren't attractive? Once you believe you're beautiful you'll really truly shine!

yeah, sorry. but i just cant buy that one. i am sure that roseanne has plenty of confidence, but i hardly see a line of people waiting to snap some photos of her! 



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