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Should I give up on birth control?

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My DH and I have been married for 7 years and have 3 kids.  We want to have a 4th but wanted to wait a little longer while we pay off more bills.  I have been on Depo, Mirena, and NuvaRing since having our last dd 4 years ago.  The problem is that all of the birth control methods we've used have had nasty side effects (extreme depression, dead sex drive, head aches, etc.) which is why I have changed so much.  I am at my wits end with BC and do not want anymore chemicals in my body.  At the same time, we want to wait until we get pregnant again.  Of course there's condoms but they seem like such a hassle.  We've never used condoms in our marriage and I don't think my DH will stick to using them exclusively.  What would you ladies do?  Do you think we should just let it happen if it's meant to be or get on BC even if it's condoms?

by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 8:20 AM
Replies (21-30):
BrittSam2011
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 4:52 PM

Why is it immoral? Just asking.

Quoting SlapItHigh:

I would definitely get off them. Birth control has terrible effects and is immoral. I would use NFP if I wanted to space a pregnancy.


KRIZZ25
by Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 5:25 PM
I WOULD RATHER HAVE HEAD ACK THAN A CRYING BABY ..JMO THO.
aeneva
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 5:26 PM
As for IUD the mitena you mentioned still has hormones the paraguard does not. As for immoral some people disagree with the way the hormones prevent pregnancy.
saralovely129
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 5:30 PM

I got the same problems...ugh.

Mrs.Kubalabuku
by Bronze Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 5:39 PM

Options:

Paraguard:  IUD, made of copper.  Chemical free.  Lasts 10 years.  Can increase menstrual cramping, but most people take IBprofin at the start of a period and do fine with it.

Cervical Cap:  Not widely used anymore, but still obtainable.  The OB/GYN makes a mold of your cervix, then makes a "cap" that you place over it before sex.  Used in conjunction with a spermicide it can be rather effective.  However, it isn't AS effective as other measures, due to human error or changes in the cervix making the cap fit improperly.

Spermicides:  About 80% effective.  But used with other measures, like the sponge, natural family planning, etc it can be very effective.

Sponge:  Sponges get pushed in similar to a tampon.  It forms a small balloony bubble over the cervix.  Sperm cannot get through, and many varieties come with spermicides built in.  DH cannot feel it, and if your DH is well-endowed it can actually help make sex more comfortable for you!  Sponges can be left in for about 24 hours, but need to stay in place X hours (depending on brand) after sex to be fully effective.

Natural Family Planning:  The only form of BC approved by the Catholic Church!  You learn to read your own body and signals to determine when you are most fertile, and avoid sex on those days.  Or, pair Natural Family planning with another method for even more security.  (Stats on this are all over the board.  People who adhere strictly to it report 90-99% effectiveness.  However, it is very hard to be accurate, and lab studies report only a 65-80% effectiveness.  But paired with other methods, and it really ups the effectiveness rates!)

Diaphragm:  The female condom.  If condoms seem like a hassle, this is more of one.

Condoms:  Some men report trouble "finishing" with a condom, as it lessens sensations.  Some women report teh same issues.  However, with men prone to premature ejaculation the use of condoms can help their sex life.  You can feel free to play with the possibilities (twisted, ribbed, glow in the dark!) but for a couple that's been going bare for a while, I don't think you'll like the return of a rubber barrier.  I know it didn't work for DH and I.  :'(

Pull Out Method:  There are some Moms on here who claim to have gone 15 years without an unplanned pregnancy using this method!  However, studies show less than a 65% effectiveness rate long term, as pre-ejaculate carries sperm, and not all men are very good and pulling out in time.

Personally, DH and I use sponges when my usual BC is compromised.

SlapItHigh
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 5:50 PM


Birth control turns a healthy condition into something pathological.  The reproductive system itself was created to make visible the invisible, our trinitarian creation.  Contraception is a rejection of that.  Unfortunately, the devastating effects of the acceptance has become widespread having terrible consequences for our society and our physical health.  All knew it was immoral until around 1930 when a few began to allow the secular influence to change objective morals into moral relativism.  That slowly spread and eventually took hold.

Quoting BrittSam2011:

Why is it immoral? Just asking.

Quoting SlapItHigh:

I would definitely get off them. Birth control has terrible effects and is immoral. I would use NFP if I wanted to space a pregnancy.




BrittSam2011
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 6:00 PM

Honey, it's not healthy for every girl/woman to get pregnant. Like little girls and women with medical conditions. And abstinence isn't something most are willing to do. So the best choice would be birth control.

And what about women who are poor and can't take care of their children? Would you tell them to just keep their legs closed or give the baby up for adoption? Birth control is the best course in these instances, and to stigmatize it would be a big mistake.

Quoting SlapItHigh:


Birth control turns a healthy condition into something pathological.  The reproductive system itself was created to make visible the invisible, our trinitarian creation.  Contraception is a rejection of that.  Unfortunately, the devastating effects of the acceptance has become widespread having terrible consequences for our society and our physical health.  All knew it was immoral until around 1930 when a few began to allow the secular influence to change objective morals into moral relativism.  That slowly spread and eventually took hold.

Quoting BrittSam2011:

Why is it immoral? Just asking.

Quoting SlapItHigh:

I would definitely get off them. Birth control has terrible effects and is immoral. I would use NFP if I wanted to space a pregnancy.





SlapItHigh
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 6:05 PM

"Honey"?  I think you misread or misunderstood my post.  Nowhere did I say that getting pregnant was healthy.  I said that fertility is a healthy condition.  Fertility does not mean that one must get pregnant.  Just because someone is not willing to do something, doesn't make it moral.  The question you asked was about morality, yes?

Deadly sins are never ever the "best choice".  It's never a good choice to take onesself away from God.  That's the worst thing that a person can do.  And because I love everyone, I could never advocate for anyone to do so during the blink of an eye we lead this worldly life. I care too much about their eternal souls.

One could make the argument that it's not good for some people to get fat, so they should just chew their food and spit it out without eating it.  Afterall, we can't just tell them to keep their mouths shut and not eat and many people won't be willing to do so anyway.  That's how your argument sounds to me.  For a person to not get pregnant, the least they would have to do is simply not have sex when they are fertile.  Fortunately, God designed women to only be fertile for a few days out of everymonth.  That still leaves a lot of time left for plenty of moral sex!  But these days we don't give people much credit for their ability to do anything.  Better fill em' up with drugs that harm their health, is the attitude of society.


Quoting BrittSam2011:

Honey, it's not healthy for every girl/woman to get pregnant. Like little girls and women with medical conditions. And abstinence isn't something most are willing to do. So the best choice would be birth control.

And what about women who are poor and can't take care of their children? Would you tell them to just keep their legs closed or give the baby up for adoption? Birth control is the best course in these instances, and to stigmatize it would be a big mistake.

Quoting SlapItHigh:


Birth control turns a healthy condition into something pathological.  The reproductive system itself was created to make visible the invisible, our trinitarian creation.  Contraception is a rejection of that.  Unfortunately, the devastating effects of the acceptance has become widespread having terrible consequences for our society and our physical health.  All knew it was immoral until around 1930 when a few began to allow the secular influence to change objective morals into moral relativism.  That slowly spread and eventually took hold.

Quoting BrittSam2011:

Why is it immoral? Just asking.

Quoting SlapItHigh:

I would definitely get off them. Birth control has terrible effects and is immoral. I would use NFP if I wanted to space a pregnancy.







SlapItHigh
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 6:07 PM

And how would it ever be moral for "little girls" to be having sex?


Quoting BrittSam2011:

Honey, it's not healthy for every girl/woman to get pregnant. Like little girls and women with medical conditions. And abstinence isn't something most are willing to do. So the best choice would be birth control.

And what about women who are poor and can't take care of their children? Would you tell them to just keep their legs closed or give the baby up for adoption? Birth control is the best course in these instances, and to stigmatize it would be a big mistake.

Quoting SlapItHigh:


Birth control turns a healthy condition into something pathological.  The reproductive system itself was created to make visible the invisible, our trinitarian creation.  Contraception is a rejection of that.  Unfortunately, the devastating effects of the acceptance has become widespread having terrible consequences for our society and our physical health.  All knew it was immoral until around 1930 when a few began to allow the secular influence to change objective morals into moral relativism.  That slowly spread and eventually took hold.

Quoting BrittSam2011:

Why is it immoral? Just asking.

Quoting SlapItHigh:

I would definitely get off them. Birth control has terrible effects and is immoral. I would use NFP if I wanted to space a pregnancy.







BrittSam2011
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 6:09 PM

I wasn't trying to be condescending. And I see your point. I just made an alternate one from what I thought you meant. No big deal. I'm a God fearing woman, too. I pray every day.

Quoting SlapItHigh:

"Honey"?  I think you misread or misunderstood my post.  Nowhere did I say that getting pregnant was healthy.  I said that fertility is a healthy condition.  Fertility does not mean that one must get pregnant.  Just because someone is not willing to do something, doesn't make it moral.  The question you asked was about morality, yes?

Deadly sins are never ever the "best choice".  It's never a good choice to take onesself away from God.  That's the worst thing that a person can do.  And because I love everyone, I could never advocate for anyone to do so during the blink of an eye we lead this worldly life. I care too much about their eternal souls.

One could make the argument that it's not good for some people to get fat, so they should just chew their food and spit it out without eating it.  Afterall, we can't just tell them to keep their mouths shut and not eat and many people won't be willing to do so anyway.  That's how your argument sounds to me.  For a person to not get pregnant, the least they would have to do is simply not have sex when they are fertile.  Fortunately, God designed women to only be fertile for a few days out of everymonth.  That still leaves a lot of time left for plenty of moral sex!  But these days we don't give people much credit for their ability to do anything.  Better fill em' up with drugs that harm their health, is the attitude of society.


Quoting BrittSam2011:

Honey, it's not healthy for every girl/woman to get pregnant. Like little girls and women with medical conditions. And abstinence isn't something most are willing to do. So the best choice would be birth control.

And what about women who are poor and can't take care of their children? Would you tell them to just keep their legs closed or give the baby up for adoption? Birth control is the best course in these instances, and to stigmatize it would be a big mistake.

Quoting SlapItHigh:


Birth control turns a healthy condition into something pathological.  The reproductive system itself was created to make visible the invisible, our trinitarian creation.  Contraception is a rejection of that.  Unfortunately, the devastating effects of the acceptance has become widespread having terrible consequences for our society and our physical health.  All knew it was immoral until around 1930 when a few began to allow the secular influence to change objective morals into moral relativism.  That slowly spread and eventually took hold.

Quoting BrittSam2011:

Why is it immoral? Just asking.

Quoting SlapItHigh:

I would definitely get off them. Birth control has terrible effects and is immoral. I would use NFP if I wanted to space a pregnancy.








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