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Should I give up on birth control?

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My DH and I have been married for 7 years and have 3 kids.  We want to have a 4th but wanted to wait a little longer while we pay off more bills.  I have been on Depo, Mirena, and NuvaRing since having our last dd 4 years ago.  The problem is that all of the birth control methods we've used have had nasty side effects (extreme depression, dead sex drive, head aches, etc.) which is why I have changed so much.  I am at my wits end with BC and do not want anymore chemicals in my body.  At the same time, we want to wait until we get pregnant again.  Of course there's condoms but they seem like such a hassle.  We've never used condoms in our marriage and I don't think my DH will stick to using them exclusively.  What would you ladies do?  Do you think we should just let it happen if it's meant to be or get on BC even if it's condoms?

by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 8:20 AM
Replies (41-50):
RetiredUSAFWife
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 9:17 PM

If you want another child, just let it happen. However its not always that easy, for some. For others it's like shelling peas LOL. You could get pregnant just talking about it, while others wait and wait and wait. It's your decision, good luck.

splatz
by Sarah on Apr. 1, 2013 at 9:55 PM

Have you looked into natural family planning? I quit my birth control almost a month ago because I had been dealing with a lot of side effects from the last 3 kinds I have been on. We use condoms of course but I have been tracking my cycle to figure out when I ovulate so we know when to avoid having sex should we happen to skip the condom step. :P

splatz
by Sarah on Apr. 1, 2013 at 9:57 PM

You are always such a good source of info... do you have any books/sites/other resources to recommend on this topic? Right now we are using condoms like I stated above. But, I am tracking so that I can become familiar with my cycle. Then hopefully just stick with NFP completely in the future.

Quoting SlapItHigh:

I would definitely get off them. Birth control has terrible effects and is immoral. I would use NFP if I wanted to space a pregnancy.


marihla
by on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:04 PM

This is actually a great idea, I might try that. I'm having the same issues OP mentioned with BC.

Quoting mommadana:

 Have you thought about a Diaphram?  It gets fitted to your body and you put spermacide in it.  Yes you have to plan a little and stop what you are doing to get it up there, but it could be forplay for him to place it up there as "readying you".  you just have to keep it in until the alotted time afterwards to kill the little sperms.  No hormones. No procedures.  Just don't dislodge it.


Pink.Frosting
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Kind of worried tonight. Our diabetic dog has decided to refuse her insulin shots. Not sure where the situation will go from here.... :-(
Yesterday at 10:32 PM
by Member on Apr. 1, 2013 at 10:52 PM

I'll be honest with you.  I did give up on it for the same kinds of reasons you described.  My youngest is 15 and I haven't been on bc in that time.  We have always just watched the calendar and estimated when ovulation would be.  I know that wouldn't work for everyone, but it's worked for us.

mstasha210
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 4:53 AM

I started looking into NFP since receiving responses from this post.  I still have to do more research but I think this is something that could work for us.  DH has been away on business for a few weeks so I removed the NuvaRing since he's been gone but he'll be back in a few days so I know we really need to decide what to do.  Thanks for your response :) 


Quoting splatz:

Have you looked into natural family planning? I quit my birth control almost a month ago because I had been dealing with a lot of side effects from the last 3 kinds I have been on. We use condoms of course but I have been tracking my cycle to figure out when I ovulate so we know when to avoid having sex should we happen to skip the condom step. :P


 

mstasha210
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 4:54 AM

 Lol, that doesn't bother me too much but I understand what you're sayin' :)


Quoting KRIZZ25:

I WOULD RATHER HAVE HEAD ACK THAN A CRYING BABY ..JMO THO.


 

mstasha210
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 5:13 AM

 I think if you are used to using them, they aren't a hassle but when we've gone our entire marriage without using them, I can see it being an issue, especially if we run out or it breaks and we have no more.  I'm just thinking worst case scenario I guess because BC had never been a daily issue since I've never been on the pill.


Quoting beachlove512:

I don't understand how using condoms is a "hassle." DH and I use them with no problems.


 

mstasha210
by on Apr. 2, 2013 at 5:30 AM

 Thank you for providing so much information Mrs. Kubalabuku.  A lot of people have been mentioning the Paraguard but I know that method is meant to be long term.  We do plan on trying within the next year so I don't want to go with an IUD.  It's nice to hear that NFP has been successful for the majority so I think that, with condoms as a back up will be our best option.


Quoting Mrs.Kubalabuku:

Options:

Paraguard:  IUD, made of copper.  Chemical free.  Lasts 10 years.  Can increase menstrual cramping, but most people take IBprofin at the start of a period and do fine with it.

Cervical Cap:  Not widely used anymore, but still obtainable.  The OB/GYN makes a mold of your cervix, then makes a "cap" that you place over it before sex.  Used in conjunction with a spermicide it can be rather effective.  However, it isn't AS effective as other measures, due to human error or changes in the cervix making the cap fit improperly.

Spermicides:  About 80% effective.  But used with other measures, like the sponge, natural family planning, etc it can be very effective.

Sponge:  Sponges get pushed in similar to a tampon.  It forms a small balloony bubble over the cervix.  Sperm cannot get through, and many varieties come with spermicides built in.  DH cannot feel it, and if your DH is well-endowed it can actually help make sex more comfortable for you!  Sponges can be left in for about 24 hours, but need to stay in place X hours (depending on brand) after sex to be fully effective.

Natural Family Planning:  The only form of BC approved by the Catholic Church!  You learn to read your own body and signals to determine when you are most fertile, and avoid sex on those days.  Or, pair Natural Family planning with another method for even more security.  (Stats on this are all over the board.  People who adhere strictly to it report 90-99% effectiveness.  However, it is very hard to be accurate, and lab studies report only a 65-80% effectiveness.  But paired with other methods, and it really ups the effectiveness rates!)

Diaphragm:  The female condom.  If condoms seem like a hassle, this is more of one.

Condoms:  Some men report trouble "finishing" with a condom, as it lessens sensations.  Some women report teh same issues.  However, with men prone to premature ejaculation the use of condoms can help their sex life.  You can feel free to play with the possibilities (twisted, ribbed, glow in the dark!) but for a couple that's been going bare for a while, I don't think you'll like the return of a rubber barrier.  I know it didn't work for DH and I.  :'(

Pull Out Method:  There are some Moms on here who claim to have gone 15 years without an unplanned pregnancy using this method!  However, studies show less than a 65% effectiveness rate long term, as pre-ejaculate carries sperm, and not all men are very good and pulling out in time.

Personally, DH and I use sponges when my usual BC is compromised.


 

zacmacsmomm
by Member on Apr. 2, 2013 at 9:19 AM

I was going to also mention a diaphram, but I would think that would be more of a hassle than condoms.  If you are regular, the rhythm method shouldn't be too hard.  But I would suggest using something for the first couple of months, till you get your scheduel down pat.  I was regular, but I noticed that one month I would ovulate on the 14th day, the next month on the 21st day.  It was always like that.  Once I figured that out, I got knocked up with my Princess quite easily :).  Took me 6 months to figure taht out lol.

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