Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom to Mom Mom to Mom

Need some help mamas!! *EDIT*

Posted by   + Show Post
I feel like I am constantly picking up after my entire family. It's not a problem really.. I'm a sahm so that is my job. I clean up and my 13 month old destroys it which is expected.. Duh! My husband helps out as much as he can but he works a lot and is always in a rush so he leaves things around.. Again it's expected, when I worked I would come home to a mess because I'd be running out of the door. On top of that I have a ss who stays here 2 1/2 days a wk and every other wknd. I am constantly cleaning his stuff up too, he is 10 and should be cleaning up on his own. What do you think of this idea.. I was going to start a collection box of things he leaves around the house, instead of putting it away for him or putting it upstairs in his room. If he asks to it ill give it back, if he doesn't then it stays in the box. Too harsh? I just don't want to pick things up. Do you agree that a 10 yr old should clean up after himself???

***EDIT:
The reason I ask if its too harsh is bc he is not my son.. He's my step son. I just don't want to overstep!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 7:07 PM
Replies (11-20):
MomofHDFandNWF
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:42 PM

I love that idea!  I might try that with my daughter that thinks it is perfectly OK to just come in and drop her stuff on the floor and walk off and leave it.  Think it would work for DH too? J/K - well sorta....

wink

Quoting tibby73:

I did a chore box for my sons 10 and 12. 

You make a sign that says

OH NO

You left it out and mom picked it up, now she has got you stuff and your out of luck.

To get it back you must do a chore, then it will be yours just like before.


Then you take an envelope and put in some age approptiate chores. The child picks one for each toy he wants to get out.  So far it is working at helping my kids pick up after themselves.

Good luck.



mdawn028
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:40 PM
Make up a chore chart for him to help u out around the house make it fun for him. When he does his chores reward him with an allowance. Save the allowance for him to teach him responsibility then find out when he saves enough money up take him to get what he saved up for and have a good time together. As for your husband ask him kindly if when he is off work he'll help u to do one of your house work duties. Reward him in a different way if u know what I mean. He will want to help u again that way believe me he will want to know what his next reward is make it fun. As for your 13 month old teach your 13 month old to put toys in a toy box if not wait until a little older and teach your 13 month old to put things in a toy box. That teaches responsibility and compliment them compliments make u feel better. It is a good thing to teach about cleaningeven that young your hubby already knows how to pick up after his self. But he can help u do some things. Hope my advice helped sincerely, Dawna


Quoting kss12:

I feel like I am constantly picking up after my entire family. It's not a problem really.. I'm a sahm so that is my job. I clean up and my 13 month old destroys it which is expected.. Duh! My husband helps out as much as he can but he works a lot and is always in a rush so he leaves things around.. Again it's expected, when I worked I would come home to a mess because I'd be running out of the door. On top of that I have a ss who stays here 2 1/2 days a wk and every other wknd. I am constantly cleaning his stuff up too, he is 10 and should be cleaning up on his own. What do you think of this idea.. I was going to start a collection box of things he leaves around the house, instead of putting it away for him or putting it upstairs in his room. If he asks to it ill give it back, if he doesn't then it stays in the box. Too harsh? I just don't want to pick things up. Do you agree that a 10 yr old should clean up after himself???



***EDIT:

The reason I ask if its too harsh is bc he is not my son.. He's my step son. I just don't want to overstep!

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Pammi86
by Pamela on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:06 PM

I do not think its too harsh, at ten he should be able to clean up!

Janet
by Ruby Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:22 PM

 I would talk to your DH about it first. But I still don't think it's too harsh.

splatz
by Sarah on Apr. 9, 2013 at 5:58 PM

I don't think its too harsh. If you are concerned talk the idea over with your hubby.

MamaMoopsie
by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:54 PM

Discuss it with your DH first, but I find that totally appropriate. I have an almost 4 year old, almost 3 year old, a 10 year old SD who lives with us full time, and a 17 month old baby. I ask them twice to pick things up, if they don't I put it in a tub in the garage. If they remember it, I'll give it back with a reminder that they need to pick up after themselves. If they don't remember after two or three months, I take the whole tub to Goodwill.

I don't do it to my 17 month old's toys or blankets for two reasons. I feel she's too young for it and also when I hand her one of her toys and tell her to put it away she does.

I've also started a tub of my husband's stuff, but before I take it to Goodwill I show it to him so he can get out things he does want but doesn't use very often. The first time I showed him he was shocked by how much stuff I pick up for him and just put away and then he was also surprised at the fact that in three months he hadn't once thought of some of the items in the tub and agreed if he doesn't even think about it that often he probably doesn't need it.

Basherte
by Bronze Member on Apr. 10, 2013 at 6:19 AM

I think it's too harsh, because you aren't expecting your own kids to do the same. Even helping a little here and there as they are able, would make it less harsh. Plus hubby should pick up after himself. If a 10 year old is expected to do so then an adult should be expected to do so.

CafeMom Tickers
OliviasMommy611
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 8:28 AM


Quoting Janet:

I don't think it's too harsh.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
kss12
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 10:07 AM
My own child is 13 MONTHS old, therefore he really can't grasp the concept of cleaning up after himself yet. Trust me, if I had any children over the age of 2 they would all be helping! Especially a 10 year old. Hubby does pick up after himself, he forgets the occasional bowl every now and then when he's rushing out of the house but I don't mind that.. My husband allows me to stay home and care for our son by working 60-70 hours a week, his 10 year old contributes nothing to our home but messiness. My husband contributes enough financially and with the children. I don't think I should be picking up a 10 year olds dirty socks that are half shoved into the side of the couch, or a caprisun that is empty, or an apple sauce container that is half fallen over and apple sauce is all over the couch with the spoon hanging out.. Lol. I'm not arguing with you but if MY 13 month old could clean up after himself I'd have him putting his trash in the trash can (he knows after I change his diaper if we are downstairs to throw it in the trash can, he walks there with me) so if he can pick that up there should be no problem for a 10 year old.


Quoting Basherte:

I think it's too harsh, because you aren't expecting your own kids to do the same. Even helping a little here and there as they are able, would make it less harsh. Plus hubby should pick up after himself. If a 10 year old is expected to do so then an adult should be expected to do so.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
kss12
by on Apr. 10, 2013 at 10:10 AM
I like this idea!
My 13 month old will throw his diaper in the trash if we are downstairs as long as I walk with him. The 4 and 3 year olds are at least old enough to grasp the concept of cleaning up, therefore probably makes the 10 year old feel happy to help. My ss is just lazy. Extremely lazy!


Quoting MamaMoopsie:

Discuss it with your DH first, but I find that totally appropriate. I have an almost 4 year old, almost 3 year old, a 10 year old SD who lives with us full time, and a 17 month old baby. I ask them twice to pick things up, if they don't I put it in a tub in the garage. If they remember it, I'll give it back with a reminder that they need to pick up after themselves. If they don't remember after two or three months, I take the whole tub to Goodwill.


I don't do it to my 17 month old's toys or blankets for two reasons. I feel she's too young for it and also when I hand her one of her toys and tell her to put it away she does.


I've also started a tub of my husband's stuff, but before I take it to Goodwill I show it to him so he can get out things he does want but doesn't use very often. The first time I showed him he was shocked by how much stuff I pick up for him and just put away and then he was also surprised at the fact that in three months he hadn't once thought of some of the items in the tub and agreed if he doesn't even think about it that often he probably doesn't need it.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)