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I want to talk about something...but the words escape me, help me?

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 Hi moms,

I am thinking a lot lately about how much mental energy is taken from the mom in a family.

Does your SO/DH help you carry the weight of the kid(s) daily issues? Whether it be school, peers, life?

Just want to get a feel for what others are experiencing.

I write this because...we are 20 years together, two kids, ages 10 and 12 and I think I might be resenting the idea that I am supposed to know everything. Everything about their schoolwork, physical needs, emotions etc.

Do others have partners who share this weight?

Let's discuss.

by on Apr. 15, 2013 at 5:52 PM
Replies (101-110):
xxMichellexx
by Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 8:43 AM

DH and I have been together for 22 years and married for 15.. Our children are DS 14,12,11 and DD 5 and 4 months old :)

I am upset at the moment because everywhere I go baby goes and I haven't had any time apart from her, and having PND it hasn't been easy at all.. My family live 6 hours away and so I really don't have support except from DH and here :).. There are times that DH could help more than he is,especially with our bubs..

puggylove10
by Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 3:22 PM
We've been together for 16 years. Everything is go ask mom in my house. He'll step up when I tell him I need him to do something, other than that, yeah mom knows it all & mom will take care of it. It does get frustrating at times because I'm trying to take care of the house, him, a preteen & a baby, a part-time job & school. Sometimes he gives me a little smart-ass remark about wanting another baby that makes me want to kick him in the ass. Gah...I wish he'd take the initiative & pitch in without being asked.
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Pinky5511
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 2:44 AM
I do 95% but that's because of the army's hectic schedule. I know he'd do more if he could but its still frustrating and EXHAUSTING!

I recently got pulled over for speeding -no kids in the car- and the first thing I thought was maybe if I go to jail, I could take a nap? Lol (I think I need a vacation...or a wife!
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pristine729
by on Apr. 20, 2013 at 9:18 AM
He does at least half...
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DaWife806
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 7:08 AM
This is me! What kind of work does your husband do?Mine works in the oil field. He is usually gone 3 weeks and home 1-2 weeks. I let him rest his first 3 days home then he gets into the daily grind of running kids around, cleaning, ect.


Quoting myownparadise:

My husband is never around because of his job. I am married but live as a single parent (minis a job). It works for us, but I never really get a break. I do everything alone: all shopping, cleaning, taking care of the girls and the dogs. Even though it becomes stressful at times, I am thankful that he has a job that more than supports us without me having to work.

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myownparadise
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:31 AM
My husband works on a tug boat in Louisiana. He is gone for 30 home for two weeks. My dad works in the oil field. He drives a truck, and moves water around. He was always an OTR driver for his and my mom's company, but decided to change it up. He loves it.


Quoting DaWife806:

This is me! What kind of work does your husband do?Mine works in the oil field. He is usually gone 3 weeks and home 1-2 weeks. I let him rest his first 3 days home then he gets into the daily grind of running kids around, cleaning, ect.




Quoting myownparadise:

My husband is never around because of his job. I am married but live as a single parent (minis a job). It works for us, but I never really get a break. I do everything alone: all shopping, cleaning, taking care of the girls and the dogs. Even though it becomes stressful at times, I am thankful that he has a job that more than supports us without me having to work.


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DaWife806
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 9:50 AM
1 mom liked this
I bet your kids think Daddy is the coolest for working in a tug boat! How neat. A lot of kids love tug boats from stories.


Quoting myownparadise:

My husband works on a tug boat in Louisiana. He is gone for 30 home for two weeks. My dad works in the oil field. He drives a truck, and moves water around. He was always an OTR driver for his and my mom's company, but decided to change it up. He loves it.




Quoting DaWife806:

This is me! What kind of work does your husband do?Mine works in the oil field. He is usually gone 3 weeks and home 1-2 weeks. I let him rest his first 3 days home then he gets into the daily grind of running kids around, cleaning, ect.






Quoting myownparadise:

My husband is never around because of his job. I am married but live as a single parent (minis a job). It works for us, but I never really get a break. I do everything alone: all shopping, cleaning, taking care of the girls and the dogs. Even though it becomes stressful at times, I am thankful that he has a job that more than supports us without me having to work.



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Aaronmarie
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 12:43 PM

With the older 2 (teen & pre-teen) I tend to be the one who's a little more hands on. If there's an issue to discuss, he'll jump in where needed, but for the most part (school, emotions, issues) it's me. The 2 little ones (twins age 3) are a different story though. He's completely hands on, 50/50, play time, work time, any time. Although he does tend to be a bit of a softie with them so I often get to be the heavy. I think with the older 2 he's just a little less in his comfort zone of knowing exactly what to do ;) and he's military so I know he worries his "work attitude" will carry over into home if frustration sets in. He'd rather be the slightly less hands on but nice & fun dad, than the mean & grumpy drill sgt dad.

Celestial_momma
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 2:03 PM
I am a sahm with 3 kids 8, 2, and 2 months. We choose this so I can do all the work around the house. If I work too nothing gets done and the house is disgusting! He won't even pick up after himself. So it's better that I stay home:)
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laturner1
by on Jul. 4, 2013 at 7:37 AM

My now ex gets involved when it is convenient for him.  He was like that when we were married and he is still like that now.  The difference is that now he makes excuses why he can't be involved and claims that I am trying to keep him uninvolved.  He just hasn't changed his ways and now wants to blame me.

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