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Classmates Birthday Parties *Poll *ETA update

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Poll

Question: What should we give?

Options:

A card with $5 money or gift

Card with $10 money or gift

Card with $15 or more money or gift

Card and no money/gift

Other, please specify


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 98

View Results

My dd has been invited to a couple parties lately of classmates but they are not friends. Each time the party is at the local roller skating rink so of course my dd want's to go, which I don't mind. But my question is what is an appropriate gift for a classmate? Everyone is 10-11 years old.

Thank you so much for everyone's opinions. Alot of you said "in my area", well here 78% of all students in the district get free or reduced lunch. So in my area these parties are rarely attended. The last one my dd went to, 30 classmates were invited and 7 went, my dd and the party boy included. I gave $5 for that boy since they were not friends. The next party is this Sunday and I'm giving a $5 gift card to Claires. It will cost those parents a couple dollars for my kid to skate because she is bringing her own roller blades. I also send my dd with cash so she can buy water, since the parents buy pitchers of pop which my dd doesn't drink. So skating and a cupcake for my dd is less than $5. (There is no indication that any food is going to be served beyond cupcakes.) Thanks again for all your input, very interesting! =) Maybe I should add it doesn't cost anything to have a party at this place. You only pay per skater and skate rental, it's Never more than $5 per person.

by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:20 PM
Replies (61-70):
momof3jam
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 8:18 AM
1 mom liked this

I would say $15 or $20.

$5 isn't going to get you anywhere nowadays, other than maybe a song download or something. $10 is a maybe. I usually try to either aim for $20, or get a shirt (clearance lol) and $10.

Or a gift card for 2 tickets to a movie (if they're cheap by you). They're $15/person here, so NO!)

momof3jam
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 8:18 AM

Although that being said, I only have one 10 (soon to be 11) year old, and a BOY, so I'm not sure if it's different...

PaulaJo1980
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 8:20 AM
1 mom liked this

If my child is invited to a party, he is likely being entertained for 2-3 hours. Parties aren't cheap nowadays so regardless how close they were, (or if he was invited as a whole part of a class), the appropriate gifted amount is about a $20-$25.  Anything less IMO is considered cheap and tacky. There's no such thing as a free ride (and $5) is a real slap in the face.

jazz0201
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 8:30 AM

I think $5-$10 is entirely too cheap. If they are spending money to feed and entertain your child I think the only politee thing is to reciprocate with a gift of similar value. The standard for a wedding gift is the amount they are spending for you to attend the reception. I think the same rule applies to birthday parties.

MichelleMc
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 8:41 AM


He just added it all up & got usually a big gift or used it as spending money when he went somewhere, so it always worked well. Though we never expected gifts. If people asked we always said just you coming. 

Quoting SassySue123:

Quoting MichelleMc:

I say $5 if it isn't friend. $10 if friend. $15-$20 if very close or family. I think that people go WAY overboard for giving gifts & it is way too much! The only time I give what would look like more is if I get a clearance deal on what would look or be more normally. 

I also ALWAYS made everyone sit before my son was allowed to open presents, NO helpers were allowed, and he was to never show the money. Just either say thanks for the money or just say thank you. Because if Joey gave $5, Sam gave $10 & Pete gave $15 no one or no one's parents should feel bad for what they gave. We were thankful for all or for nothing but the card. It is no ones business. I hate when I see kids show the money or even worse say the amount. 




I agree, although I'd always ask for no gifts. Because people would only spend a few dollars and we'd end up with junk toys.
Or play guns, Spider-Man stuff - things my son had no interest in.



Michelle, Body Combat Addict
Proud Mom of Jonathan, My Future Soldier and Eagle & Vigil Scout
Proud Navy Submarine Vet WifeTo Jake

MichelleMc
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 8:47 AM
1 mom liked this


See to me, if you are inviting kids for the gift, it is a slap in the face. I am not having a party for the presents. I am having the party, for my child. I am spending the money on my child, for my child. NOT for the kids. The kids are for my childs enjoyment, not to add up how much the child spent on my child. If the child comes & gives nothing, that is A OK. Come & enjoy my childs special day.

Quoting PaulaJo1980:

If my child is invited to a party, he is likely being entertained for 2-3 hours. Parties aren't cheap nowadays so regardless how close they were, (or if he was invited as a whole part of a class), the appropriate gifted amount is about a $20-$25.  Anything less IMO is considered cheap and tacky. There's no such thing as a free ride (and $5) is a real slap in the face.



Michelle, Body Combat Addict
Proud Mom of Jonathan, My Future Soldier and Eagle & Vigil Scout
Proud Navy Submarine Vet WifeTo Jake

MichelleMc
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 8:47 AM


Same as I said above:

See to me, if you are inviting kids for the gift, it is a slap in the face. I am not having a party for the presents. I am having the party, for my child. I am spending the money on my child, for my child. NOT for the kids. The kids are for my childs enjoyment, not to add up how much the child spent on my child. If the child comes & gives nothing, that is A OK. Come & enjoy my childs special day.

Quoting jazz0201:

I think $5-$10 is entirely too cheap. If they are spending money to feed and entertain your child I think the only politee thing is to reciprocate with a gift of similar value. The standard for a wedding gift is the amount they are spending for you to attend the reception. I think the same rule applies to birthday parties.



Michelle, Body Combat Addict
Proud Mom of Jonathan, My Future Soldier and Eagle & Vigil Scout
Proud Navy Submarine Vet WifeTo Jake

MichelleMc
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 8:50 AM


Exactly! I don't get this, it should be a pay back? When I have a party for my child, it is for my child. It isn't that a child should be paying me back for me having a skating party for my child & you should be paying me back for your childs admission. I can't even imagine that thought. I have a party theme my child wants, and I pay that money for my child. I don't see it as, you should give my child a present as a pay back. If the child comes without a present, oh well. That is okay. It isn't a payback system. Maybe they can't afford something! Come celebrate & give my child the enjoyment. Goodness. 

Quoting STVUstudent:

In my kids' age range, i can usually find a fun game or toy for around $10.  the last party we went to, it looked like a lot of the toys were big, and considerably more expensive, but you know, I can't afford 2 or 3 $25 presents for every party we are invited to.  I don't see the gift as "payback" for what the parents spent on the party... it's a gift...



Michelle, Body Combat Addict
Proud Mom of Jonathan, My Future Soldier and Eagle & Vigil Scout
Proud Navy Submarine Vet WifeTo Jake

jazz0201
by on Apr. 25, 2013 at 9:18 AM
2 moms liked this

 The party is for my child to enjoy. But I feel manners and etiquette are important as well when you are an invited guest. I would never point out if a gift was not received or it was cheap to my child. Once again teaching manners and etiquette. .

Quoting MichelleMc:

 

Same as I said above:

See to me, if you are inviting kids for the gift, it is a slap in the face. I am not having a party for the presents. I am having the party, for my child. I am spending the money on my child, for my child. NOT for the kids. The kids are for my childs enjoyment, not to add up how much the child spent on my child. If the child comes & gives nothing, that is A OK. Come & enjoy my childs special day.

Quoting jazz0201:

I think $5-$10 is entirely too cheap. If they are spending money to feed and entertain your child I think the only politee thing is to reciprocate with a gift of similar value. The standard for a wedding gift is the amount they are spending for you to attend the reception. I think the same rule applies to birthday parties.

 

 

 

goddess99
by Michelle on Apr. 25, 2013 at 9:26 AM

Thank you!

Quoting Karen_S:

Just saying what is the average in my area, not saying what is right or wrong...

First, in most cases where tons of kids are invited, like the whole class or a lot of non-friends, most of the time it is a "just bring yourself, no gifs please" invitation.  (And for the mom who said that these big parties are dumb - they are actually a nice way for kids to get to know each other a bit more outside of school. If you had a kid who had recently moved, you would be very happy that someone was kind enough to invite your new child to parties even though they aren't already best friends).

So usually gifts are only for smaller parties where the kids are closer friends. The range seems to be $10-20.  Average $12-15, though $20 pretty common. That's just what it is in my area. But I don't know anyone who would look down on someone who gave a smaller present. No need to go over your budget. 


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