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Two kids too many?

Posted by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 4:50 PM
  • 38 Replies
1 mom liked this

I've never once EVER heard a mom say how she wished she never had that second child.

I had a son with my first marriage almost 5 years ago. Now I'm happily remarried and new hubby would like a kid of his own and I know I should give my son a sibling.

But I just don't know if I'm cut out for it. I see people all the time that have two kid and they still work their full time jobs and are happy. And then I see moms that have two kids and they are SAHM and they still make it on one income.

I've double checked every senerio (me working or staying home) and I'm still scared to death. Will I ever be ready for a second kid? I kind of want to go ahead and try and just DO IT already but............. what is it like? Is it easier having two kids? How does your heart feel loving TWO kids? Are you overly stressed? My son is old enough to help out and he's self sufficent so it's not like I'll have two babies....but any advice from mommy's of two angels?

 

by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 4:50 PM
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Replies (1-10):
notjstanothrmom
by Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 4:52 PM
I'm pregnant with my third. We tried for 3 years for this baby. I wanted this so bad and yet there are moments I panic thinking about life with 3 kids. I think it's normal.
shadow_lark
by Bronze Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 4:55 PM
1 mom liked this
Its harder at first, because you have two who have completely different needs. But as the lo gets older it gets easier. Mine are three years apart and now that rose is two the two of them play together a lot. They stay entertained pretty much all day without too much direction from me. I love them equally, though they irritate me in different ways..lol. I'm nit usually over stressed, and I'm on my own for a month at a time. But I also have family close to help if I need. I dont think you're ever 100% ready, but if you feel the time is right then go for it. Things will work out the way they are meant to be.
goddess99
by Michelle on Apr. 26, 2013 at 4:55 PM
3 moms liked this

bump, I have 1 and I'm done.

MJP76
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 5:08 PM

Each kid is not easy. It's more money, more stress, even if you have the best behaved children. And as they get older it gets more stressful. Mostly monetarily.

1squishysmom
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 5:08 PM
1 mom liked this

Well, 1st of all, you do not HAVE to give your son a sibling. I am an only child and I had a blissfully happy childhood with plenty of friends and a wonderful family.

 I have 2 boys. They are 3 1/2 years apart. I honestly wish we had them closer because they aren't close at all. They are now 20 and 17. They just started getting along 2 years ago. We had 15 years of fighting, yelling, competitiveness, and personality clashes. Thank goodness they finally get along! It just took our oldest moving out to go to school for that to happen.

 No, a lot of families don't go through this, but it does happen sometimes. I am in NO WAY saying I wish we hadn't had our 2nd son! I love that kid with all of my heart! As I do with our oldest, but I also know that either of them would have done great being an only child.

 If YOU and your husband want another baby, go for it, but don't do it for your son. Honestly, we went for #2 because I felt that I somehow missed out on having a sibling. Our lives would have been MUCH calmer having just 1. 

MichelleMc
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 5:09 PM
2 moms liked this

I am a happy Only by choice parent & there is nothing wrong with having an only. Don't let the stress of society make you think you have to have two. There is nothing AT ALL wrong with having one. I choose to have an only because that is what I wanted in my heart of hearts. I knew people were stupid with their only drama BS, and I knew there was not a thing in the world wrong with onlys. My awesome son is turning 18 on the 7th of May. He is graduating high school June 6th. He is one great kid who I am proud of, and I am still thrilled to death I had an only. It worked for me & my hubby. 

BUT, don't let fear be the only reason you are having another one. If you want two, GO FOR IT. You can do it for sure. Just make sure it is what you want in your heart, you aren't doing it for what you think must be done for some " you must have at least 2" agenda people seem to have, and don't stop from doing it just for fear :)

Hugs. 

angie944
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 5:10 PM

I know how you feel.  I have one DD that is 5.  I love the simplicity of our family, it is just the three of us.  We live comfortably, and I have been able to be a SAHM to her since she was born.  I am more than ready to start working again this fall when she starts full day Kinder. There is nothing wrong with having just one kid.   If you do want another kid, but are just scared, I am sure that it will be okay. You and DH still wont be outnumbered.  =) 

Firenygirl180
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 5:14 PM
I have a22 month old and a1 month old. It isn't too bad even though i have 2 kids who are needy for different reasons.

Baby sleeps most if the time and when she starts moving she can party with big brother. I am a sahm, but i plan to find a real job within 6 months. We make it work on one income, but we also didn't need anything for the new baby because we have everything from our first. It gets tight at times but we get through
paknari
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 5:17 PM
I have two now and I worried about all the things you've mentioned. My dd is 5 and my dd2 is 7 wks. I love the age gap because dd1 is not only helpful but independent.
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LawMom8308
by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 5:18 PM

Thanks Ladies for making me feel better...

But I know my husband wants a kid of his own. It hurts my heart bc I have my own selfish reasons for not wanting a second but.................I guess that's where I am torn.

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