Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Have You Ever Felt That Someone You Knew Was 'Off'?

Posted by on May. 14, 2013 at 3:29 PM
  • 7 Replies

Mom Killed on Mother's Day for Not Wanting to Celebrate With Her Family

by Jeanne Sager

ronnie RaineyAll across the country, women were offered a night out on Mother's Day. More than a few of them probably said, "Not tonight, honey, I'm tired." But for Maryland mom Lisa Rainey, the refusal to go out seems to have prompted a brutal double homicide that claimed the mother of two and her stepdaughter. Luckily her son escaped the shooting, but that's just about the only good news to come out of a bizarre Mother's Day killing that leaves more questions than answers.

What would possess someone to kill their wife for refusing to go out on Mother's Day? And just how far can you go to keep yourself safe when you see someone you love turning violent?

It sounds like Lisa Rainey did all she could.

When she realized husband Ronnie was angry about the Mother's Day disagreement, she took her kids, including her 15-year-old son, to a hotel for the night. Then, before agreeing to meet Ronnie Rainey back at the family home the next day, she called her daughter's boyfriend, a parole and probation officer, for protection.

But somehow these precautions weren't enough.

It's Lisa Rainey's own husband who is charged in her death, as well as the murder of his stepdaughter, Ariale Chantre Shelton. Cops say the former Army medic who met his wife in the military and has been married to her for 15 years also tried to shoot at their teenage son, but the bullet got only the boy's hat as he ran from their home.

Over a Mother's Day disagreement?

No wonder she didn't want to go out to eat with him.

I wouldn't either.

It sounds like Lisa Rainey saw something off, and she did the right thing -- she got out. Only then she got sucked back in.

This is a reality in an American where more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends every day. Every year, one in three women who is a victim of homicide is murdered by her current or former partner.

This is a reality that we must face: that people who love us can turn on us.

If we feel something is off, we should trust our instincts.

But what makes the Raineys' case so startling is the lack of a history. Cops in Prince George's County say they'd never been called to the Rainey home -- not before Monday when Ronnie Rainey called them to allegedly announced that he'd shot his wife and stepdaughter and planned to shoot himself. Ronnie and Lisa were both respected members of society, both veterans of the United States military who met in the service.

This sad case seems to fly in the face of what we tend to believe about domestic violence -- that there's an escalating pattern of abuse.

The suddenness of the murders, the leap to such extreme violence, the fact that this mom did all she could to stay safe and still lost her life are all tragic and unsettling. But they only hammer home the most important message of all: if you feel unsafe, get out. Now.

Have you ever felt this way about someone you loved? What did you do?

by on May. 14, 2013 at 3:29 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
by on May. 14, 2013 at 4:13 PM

 What a sad story : (

by on May. 14, 2013 at 6:08 PM

Sad story, but if she called for protection first, and went to a hotel, there was a lot more to this story....

by Sarah on May. 14, 2013 at 7:54 PM

Sad... makes me wonder how often domestic violence was occuring in the house before then.

by Ruby Member on May. 14, 2013 at 9:26 PM
1 mom liked this
There sure is!

Quoting Alta2008:

Sad story, but if she called for protection first, and went to a hotel, there was a lot more to this story....

by Ruby Member on May. 14, 2013 at 9:27 PM
He shot his own daughter too.
by Michelle on May. 14, 2013 at 9:35 PM

How sad, I wonder what she lived through before this.

by on May. 20, 2013 at 7:24 PM

As I randomly flipped through channels one day last week, I was horrified to see that two of my old friends were murdered.  But I have to be honest...when I saw that Ronnie was the murderer, I was not surprised.

It is true that no one ever reported anything before.  What most people don't know is that not only was Ronnie a very controlling individual, but he also made sure they took care of "damage control".  He made it clear to Lisa that no one was to ever know what goes on under their roof.  How do I know?  I used to be a member of their household.

The Raineys once lived in KS.  Lisa realized a dream of hers by opening up a soul food restaurant called Blessings.  For a while, I was the manager.  And after seeing the struggles I went through with my first marriage, Lisa encouraged me to save up money and leave my husband.  She offered to let me live with them until I got on my feet.

Unfortunately, this rubbed Ronnie the wrong way, since it was not his decision to have me live in his home.  So, over time, he gave me strict rules, sent through Lisa, of course.  It put a strain on our friendship, and we drifted apart.

Soon thereafter, I was expected to report everthing to the Raineys.  (Where I was going, how long I was going to be out, who I was going to be with, how to reach me, when I was going to be back, what I was going for, etc.)  I ended up spending most of my time hanging out with Ariale (Lisa's daughter, who also worked at the restaurant and was only 5 years younger than me). 

One day, Ariale and I decided to rebel.  She got her tongue pierced, and we picked out a tattoo for me to get.  That day, we realized we were able to do something that Ronnie couldn't make us undo, and that felt great. 

When Ronnie found out, he claimed that I was a bad influence on Ariale, and he made my life there miserable and didn't let Ariale hang out with me anymore.  I simply had enough, and I left, never looking back.  I now regret not keeping in touch with them.

During my time there, I never witnessed any physical abuse.  The occasional spanking he gave to his son did not seem out of the ordinary to me, but then again, I was raised in an abusive home.  I did, however, witness Ronnie giving Lisa the "evil eye" from time to time, and she would quickly snap in line.  I can only imagine what she went through over the years.  I only had a glimpse for a short period of time.

Lisa & Ariale, rest in peace.  He can't hurt you or control you anymore.  Thank God RJ got away.  I have faith that the family that surrounds him will help him to get through this tough time and continue to grow into an incredible young man.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)