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FML help please..

Posted by on May. 16, 2013 at 12:34 PM
  • 12 Replies

I have a 9 month old baby boy. Sweetest lil guy ever. I work full time 47 hours a week.

Hes got a little cough so I took him to the doctor yesterday, hes fine, it'll pass. Nothing serious. (still praying like crazy)

Anways

Last night was the first time he wanted his grandmother and didnt want me. I think he was just hungry because as soon I gave him a bottle he was fine to sit with me. 

But this is my  mother in law so (if you understand) shes exploding it and saying oh he loves me more and blah blah blah and I just wanna SCREAM.

What do you do when your baby does this? Will it always be like this? She watches him while I work and I've been dreading this day. 

Help..

Love Momma

by on May. 16, 2013 at 12:34 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LilliesValley
by on May. 16, 2013 at 12:40 PM

I think this happens but she doesn't need to be saying oh he loves me more. I'd tell her if she can't understand how horrible that makes you feel you'll find someone else to watch your son. After all at day care he'd get more social interaction. Do you live with your MIL? To me it is totally and completely inapropriate for her to say something like that. Personally I would find someone else to watch him. Try to spend lots of time cuddling and doing stuff with him when you are with him and it will even out. But I would be careful about what grandma is saying to him when you're not around. If you don't have a good relationship with MIL then have your dh talk to her but hopefully you can handle it and she'll take it ok.

209mom4you
by New Member on May. 16, 2013 at 12:42 PM
1 mom liked this
I'd make it a point to hold him while you are all over there together and if she asks for him say you see him all week while I work
shortyshorts25
by on May. 16, 2013 at 12:46 PM

I agree def have a talk with her and tell her that it bothers you that she's rubbing it in your face.. also my girls do that to me and im home alllll day with them.. your the mamma just remember that you have a special bond that NO ONE can replace :)

splatz
by Sarah on May. 16, 2013 at 1:11 PM
1 mom liked this

Its normal for kiddos that young to form a bond with frequent care takers.

She was a jerk to rub it in your face though. I'm sure it was hard enough to not be his first choice without her rubbing it in!

Janet
by Ruby Member on May. 16, 2013 at 1:43 PM

 I agree.

Quoting splatz:

Its normal for kiddos that young to form a bond with frequent care takers.

She was a jerk to rub it in your face though. I'm sure it was hard enough to not be his first choice without her rubbing it in!

 

Alta2008
by on May. 16, 2013 at 2:33 PM

Thats normal for the little guy to do that, but in the end he will always love his mommy, I took care of my stepdaughters little one so she could fininsh school, he also would call me mommy sometimes because all my children were calling me that, but I always corrected him and told him no I am your grandma, and this bothered my daughter-in-law when she heard him call me that, and I told her he does it because all the other call me that, and she thought about it an drealize that is true, so now he is all grown up and my step daughter has told me how much she appreciated all I did so she could finish school and so forth. But If your mother in law is rubbing it in your face that is just uncalled for, I would talk with her and if it continues find someone else to watch your child.... very rude and childish of her.... Hope things work out for you....

MistressMinerva
by Jennifer on May. 16, 2013 at 6:28 PM

It's normal.

RachelB414
by on May. 17, 2013 at 9:56 AM

We live in a "mother in law" house, behind her so mostly yes -_-

Quoting LilliesValley:

I think this happens but she doesn't need to be saying oh he loves me more. I'd tell her if she can't understand how horrible that makes you feel you'll find someone else to watch your son. After all at day care he'd get more social interaction. Do you live with your MIL? To me it is totally and completely inapropriate for her to say something like that. Personally I would find someone else to watch him. Try to spend lots of time cuddling and doing stuff with him when you are with him and it will even out. But I would be careful about what grandma is saying to him when you're not around. If you don't have a good relationship with MIL then have your dh talk to her but hopefully you can handle it and she'll take it ok.



LilliesValley
by on May. 17, 2013 at 10:34 AM

 

Yeah, you're kind of stuck then to some degree. But saying stuff like that to you is completely unnecessary. It is only going to hurt you, the child's mother. I have dh deal with his family and I deal with mine, but since you are living there you mltn have to take care of some of these things yourself. I'd try to sit down with her and say look I don't think you are meaning to hurt my felings but it's really hard to be a working mom, first time mom (I can't remmember if this is the case but throw it in), and leaving him here with you, so saying something like this just really hurts me. Please don't say stuff like this to me. It's not helping it's hurting. If you want us to ever be able to afford to move into our own place then I have to work. You are making that happen sooner by watching him but I can't have you underminding me as a mother. If I have to I will find someone else to watch him, but I know you love him and want what's best for him, so I'd rather you continue to watch him. For that to happen you have to respect me as a mother. And while grandparents can traditionally spoil kids and babies, I need you as his care giver to be more firm with him than you would maybe otherwise be, because otherwise he will be spoiled. While that may be fun for you somewhere down the line it's going to back fire for everyone.

Just have a good heart to heart. I'm hoping you're living situation isn't high, high stress and she's nice enough to be nice to you, but bottom line is your the mom, that is an unecessary comment that is only meant to demean and hurt you. Grandma has her role and her place and is being very helpful, but she needs to mind her place too. Best of luck.

Quoting RachelB414:

We live in a "mother in law" house, behind her so mostly yes -_-

Quoting LilliesValley:

I think this happens but she doesn't need to be saying oh he loves me more. I'd tell her if she can't understand how horrible that makes you feel you'll find someone else to watch your son. After all at day care he'd get more social interaction. Do you live with your MIL? To me it is totally and completely inapropriate for her to say something like that. Personally I would find someone else to watch him. Try to spend lots of time cuddling and doing stuff with him when you are with him and it will even out. But I would be careful about what grandma is saying to him when you're not around. If you don't have a good relationship with MIL then have your dh talk to her but hopefully you can handle it and she'll take it ok.

 

 


 

delanna6two
by Platinum Member on May. 17, 2013 at 11:24 AM
1 mom liked this

Hugs...

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