Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom to Mom Mom to Mom

I could seriously use some advice

Posted by on May. 23, 2013 at 4:54 AM
  • 7 Replies
Okay, first off, please no judging, bashing, etc. My DS1 is 4 and has always been pretty much an average kid. He talked early but other than that, normal. Last Saturday, however, something freaked me out pretty bad. He usually plays in our (fenced in) backyard, with his dog. He agravates the goats, follows the chickens around, and plays in the dirt. But Saturday, he drowned one of the 4 day old baby goats in his kiddie pool. He freaked when it stopped moving and ran for Daddy, because Daddy can fix anything. When we asked him whay he did it, he said he only wanted to see if it could breathe under water and if it would hold it's breath like he does in the bathtub. (Serious WTF moment for me) Now, drowning is not something we have ever discussed, why I don't know, it just never seemed to come up. We have talked about how on Looney Tunes and Tom & Jerry, when they hit one another or when Elmer Fudd or Wiley Coyote shoot themselves or blow up how this is a cartoon, it's not real. If you do something like that in real life, you die. Drowning, however never came up. He got in serious trouble, and got put to bed because I was like, what the crap do I do now? The next morning he wanted to go out and asked if I would come out so he could pet the new baby goat. (He's not allowed to pet the animals unless I'm out with him b/c he's 4 and is sometimes too rough) When I explained to him the goat was dead because he held it under water, he started to cry, saying he really didn't mean to hurt it and couldn't Daddy or I fix it. My question is this: Do I make him an appointment with a psychologist now, or wait and see if it was just weird childish curiousity? He is showing remorse (as much as a 4yo is capable of) and he has never been malicious or deliberately hurt his little brother (22mo) and he has never purposely hurt his puppy or rabbit. DH says I'm making way too big of a deal about it, and I know that I watch way too much criminal minds and that's what has me so freaked out. But, on the other hand, I don't want to ignore it and wake up one day to find him pulling the wings off of flies or something equally creepy. I guess what I need from you ladies is some reassurance that my child is not going to grow up and be some kind of monster.
by on May. 23, 2013 at 4:54 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-7):
mumamy
by on May. 23, 2013 at 5:26 AM

I wouldnt really know what to do to be honest. I think I would be just as shocked as you sound. 
I guess I wouldnt jump to conclusions yet as you said hes showing remorse and keep a close eye on any similar behaviours and then act, otherwise take it as he really didnt know and made a serious mistake.

 

abmaddox1981
by on May. 23, 2013 at 5:38 AM
Quoting mumamy:

I wouldnt really know what to do to be honest. I think I would be just as shocked as you sound. 
I guess I wouldnt jump to conclusions yet as you said hes showing remorse and keep a close eye on any similar behaviours and then act, otherwise take it as he really didnt know and made a serious mistake.

 

That's pretty much what the hubs said, I just have a bad tendancy to jump to the worst possible conclusion. Thanks for replying!
Lil_Wolf
by on May. 23, 2013 at 5:42 AM

I think it was  an accident from curiosity. my little sister once killed suffocated some kittens by keeping them in an old suitcase we used to play "travel" with because she wanted to keep them. She was about your kid's age at the time. my mom talked to her about it and explained that they couldn't breathe in there & died. My sister, of course was very upset. She never did anything like that again. When I was about that age, I threw a brick at a dog (people throw sticks why not other things?) I didn't want to hurt the dog, I was trying to play fetch. Unfortunately, I hit the dog. My parents talked to me, explaining why it was wrong & the difference between fetching sticks & bricks. I was spanked & that was the last time I was mean to an animal. We turned out fine. I think if he did things repeatedly & each one was worse than the last, you may have cause for concern, but this was an innocent accident from a child's curiousity.

MABmommy
by on May. 23, 2013 at 5:47 AM
2 moms liked this
I would wait and see what happens next. If something like this happens again it wouldn't hurt to have a professional talk to him. At this time, I don't think that is necessary. He is four. I don't think that is old enough to truly understand the concept of death, let alone the consequences of his actions that can lead to death. I don't think your son will grow up to be a monster. If he was honestly trying to do somehjbg wrong he wouldn't be following the rules of asking permission to go out and pet the baby animals to begin with. I am sure it was an honest mistake. And, I am sure that, if I were in your shoes, I would be equally freaked out. So, don't let yourself feel guilty about being concerned.
abmaddox1981
by on May. 23, 2013 at 6:02 AM


Quoting Lil_Wolf:

I think it was  an accident from curiosity. my little sister once killed suffocated some kittens by keeping them in an old suitcase we used to play "travel" with because she wanted to keep them. She was about your kid's age at the time. my mom talked to her about it and explained that they couldn't breathe in there & died. My sister, of course was very upset. She never did anything like that again. When I was about that age, I threw a brick at a dog (people throw sticks why not other things?) I didn't want to hurt the dog, I was trying to play fetch. Unfortunately, I hit the dog. My parents talked to me, explaining why it was wrong & the difference between fetching sticks & bricks. I was spanked & that was the last time I was mean to an animal. We turned out fine. I think if he did things repeatedly & each one was worse than the last, you may have cause for concern, but this was an innocent accident from a child's curiousity.

This makes me feel waaaay better! Thank you so much! 

Janet
by Ruby Member on May. 23, 2013 at 8:32 AM

 I have to say I am in agreement with everyone else. But, I would keep close eye on him just to be sure something like this never occurs again, or any signs of it.

goddess99
by Michelle on May. 23, 2013 at 2:06 PM

I would watch for other signs of odd behavior and write things down. If anything else happens I would make an appointment with a behavior therapist and bring your notebook so you don't forget to mention something.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)