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well thats an interesting reaction...

Posted by on May. 25, 2013 at 6:30 PM
  • 29 Replies

I finally told my husband that I was thinking of planning a trip to visit my friend in New York. I told him it had to do with how unappreciated I felt, he thinks I'm lazy and is never satisfied with anything I do. He dwells on what I dont do. Catch is, I have 3 kids, 2 yrs old and under. He has about 10-12 days paid time off left. I would have been gone, maybe a week. When I told him this, he got a disgusted look and told me I was selfish. I told him, thats fine that you feel that way, this trip was supposed to help change that attitude you have. I told him, his aunt, his mother and every other veteran mother (friends) Ive talked to have suggested this because it was a turning point for their marriages. I havent agreed to visit my friend because I feel everyone would pick up the slack for him and look at me like I abandoned my family. The reason I told him is because he has been talking to me about divorce for a bit over a month now. I think he is being selfish by giving up when theres not a huge problem with us, he just wants to be a teenager again instead of grow up. Cuz thats easier than being married with 3 kids and a full time job. He's just still immature, thats fine, everyone needs time to grow up, mature, etc.I mean I'm not perfect, obviously theres more than just his problem here, I'm not easy to be around, mothering 3 young kids and housekeeping, etc. But he is really turning into an asshole and this divorce is looking more and more relieving. Anyway, views on this widely suggested vacation turning point? 

by on May. 25, 2013 at 6:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MJP76
by on May. 25, 2013 at 7:25 PM

I think he probably should have decided to grow up before making 3 babies. I think that the vacation is a good idea. It will give you a chance to think about a few things. Personally, I wouldn't need a vaction to decide, I'd just do the divorce thing, but if you aren't sure, taking time for yourself is a good plan.

OliviasMommy611
by on May. 25, 2013 at 8:05 PM
I'm sorry
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goddess99
by Michelle on May. 25, 2013 at 10:08 PM
1 mom liked this

I would go on the trip. Being apart might help and him watching the kids will teach him and thing or two. Have fun!

splatz
by Sarah on May. 26, 2013 at 7:59 PM
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Maybe if you are gone for awhile he will appreciate all it is you really do. Men seem to think being a stay at home mom is SO easy.
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Janet
by Ruby Member on May. 27, 2013 at 12:36 PM

 I agree!

Quoting goddess99:

I would go on the trip. Being apart might help and him watching the kids will teach him and thing or two. Have fun!

 

JJJMommyKris
by Member on May. 27, 2013 at 10:55 PM
I would talk to your support system so they know he needs to watch the kids and nor pawn them off on mom or mil ect. Then go and have fun!
katallison
by on May. 28, 2013 at 12:57 PM
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First of all, I'm so sorry you have to deal with that. From looking in on my sisters marraige her husband feels the same way, I don't think men quite get how much work it is taking care of another human being let alone 3+ and I say + cause I'm sure you do plenty for him!! I think you should go on the vacation and spend time relaxing, that will not only help you and the kids, but it will give your husband time to take care of the kids on his own and see how he handles it. It can't hurt your marraige from what you tell us. It seems like its already in trouble, so I say take your trip and either you come home relaxed and your husband starts to appreciate you more or you come back relaxed and get ready to give him a divorce. Either way you get time to yourself to relax which you never know when youll have that time again. Sorry for your troubles and may you come to the right decision that's best for you.and your children. (:
EarlGrayHot
by on May. 28, 2013 at 1:03 PM

I think I was very lucky to have found a guy who wanted to care for our baby and, in fact, had dreams about being pregnant.  As a result, I would never have gone anywhere without him.  He was the best ever!

notjstanothrmom
by Member on May. 28, 2013 at 1:06 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't think going away for a week is a resolution to your problems.

JocelynMoods
by on May. 28, 2013 at 2:19 PM

I don't think a trip away is the answer either. I am learning that the key to success is grit, stick with it through the hard times. Find a way for him to see exactly what you do. Sit down together and have a grown up talk about all the things he has stressing him out and all the things that stress you out. See if you both can come up with solutions to help each other.

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